2013.10.08 - KOBRA That Time Forgot

Dinosaur Island. The Island that contains the WAR THAT TIME FORGOT.

A beautiful island, full of prehistoric trees and mountains, that contains fabulous beasts such as TYRANNOSAURUS REXes, PTERODACTYLS, and... well, giant reptiles! Problem? Take it up with Robert Kanigher!

It is here that Roy Harper and Pete Wisdom arrives, taking a small motorboat out onto the island from a SHIELD navy carrier that wouldn't dare approach too closely.

Nick Fury's agreement to send them on a -mission- out there to check out rumored activity from KOBRA made special note of the very special critters on that island, and so Roy Harper made sure they -weren't- underprepared.

"Okay, babies, come to poppa," Roy croons, as he pulls out armament after armament.

Knives, arrows, bow, machete, boomerang, BFG3000, BIGGERFG4000, throwing stars, strapped on stabbing implements... and even SHIELD strike drones, those that liked to chat as much as he did.

And as for Pete Wisdom...

...he has a pack of cigarettes and a hip flask given to him by the Black Widow. What. Pete is /well armed/. He's also staring at Roy-- and more specifically, what Roy's hauling around. He's, in fact, been silently staring throughout the whole ride over from the carrier. Still silently, he gets out of the boat and jams his cigarette in the corner of his mouth, then sloshes through the shallows to drag the boat onto the beach.

Finally-- finally! Words come out of the Briton's mouth. He ashes on the sand. "So you didn't tell me you were related to Cable. I think you might need a few more guns. Maybe some more pockets."

"Cable? Pffft. As if... dude's got -metal- all over, he's probably on the verge of a techno-organic prolapse lugging all that around. Me, I'm way better looking. And about those pockets..." Roy starts offering more weapons to Pete. "You got some, start hauling."

Pulling out an eye-scope that he puts on his face, Roy sets the BFG on his back, and whistles. "Okay, roybots, sound off!"

"SKKKRTT READY TO FIGHT." And suddenly, all the drones activate, turning their attention towards Pete, before Roy barks, "HOLD IT! He's a FRIEND. Pattern designation, PETE."

"PATTERN RECORDED. PETE DESIGNATED ROY-FRIEND."

"Great. I love these new SHIELD drones. Let's go, eh, Pete? Got some Kobra snakes to root out," Roy grins, prepared to wade into the jungle.

"...Harper," Pete says in a remarkably flat tone, "if your drones shoot my witch, I'll shoot you myself." He litters! By dropping his cigarette to the sandy beach and crushing it out with a twist of his foot. "Hang on a sec, she should be here momentarily." Therefore, it's obviously time to light another one. There's nothing better than chainsmoking on Dinosaur Island.

Shading his eyes against the sun, the Englishman looks up in the sky, squinting. "And you're carrying your own goddamned guns. If I need one for some ungodly reason, I've got one. Shit--" he glances to the redhead, eyes suddenly wide. "This isn't in a fucking volcano too, is it?"

Rain would indeed, prefer not to be shot. Bullets are one of her weaknesses, as is close social interaction, being set on fire, turned into a newt, disgruntled Asgardians, stairs, extended PE classes, dinosaurs and - okay, maybe we want the other list. Regardless, she manages to make her way over, by flight, portal and the odd teleportation spell (thanking every deity she can think of that she didn't end up covered in chocolate in Canada or something equally bizarre. Magical backfirings are the worst, really). She sadly is unaware of the existence of roy-bots, and will find their coordinates or good ole divination. Probably coordinates. And listening for British slang (not really). She'll land nearby and just - kind - of ...

... stare. "Hi! I hope I didn't keep you waiting." But. Wow. ... she now contemplates the physics problem of that man with a BFG and several magnets. Well, if you line the poles up and -

And yes, she rides a broomstick.

"UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL APPROACHING. WARNING. ALERT THE ROY..."

"The Roy's right here! Abort overkill, abort overkill! Recognize, uh... who the hell is this, Wisdom?" Roy asks, tilting his head towards Rain, motioning frantically to get down and behind Roy. Because they aren't shooting through Roy or Pete.

In theory. Prototypes like these were always risky.

"Rain," Pete says impatiently, gesturing at the girl alighting. "She's Rain. Rain, this is Harper, he likes shooty things. And drones that are too stupid to tell the difference between someone wearing a KOBRA uniform or a labcoat and /someone who's not/." His manner goes slightly milder, somewhat apologetic. "And thank you. This is probably going to be a bigger mess than the claymore mines in Gotham. Can you do a shieldy thing around you and Harper in case I have to set /everything on fire/?"

And then he takes the latest phone in the line of horrible screeching deaths out of his pocket and squints. "Why in fuck is the base on Google Maps? Is this a joke? That's not real is it?"

Wisdom steps over to the archer bristling with deathmachines and points his cigarette at the screen. "Hell, why is Dinosaur Island on Google Maps? Is this phone from another dimension?"

Wait. What's this about Alertying the Roy. Rain kind of stares, freezing and picking up her broomstick. Was it Manatees or Roy Harpers that hunt visually? She forgets these things, and really doesn't know Roy yet, so it's probably Manatees. And he is definitely not a manatee. She does have the sense to move behind Roy, at least, putting her broomstick over her shoulder. Eat your heart out, Final Fantasy games. She looks a bit serious. "That's okay, it um, happens. Almost got shot down by NORAD once," Cough. That was awkward. "And ugh," Claymore mines. She looks a bit queasy at the memory. "I can try, should be able to, or at least help manage the fires." She doesn't make promises. She pauses. "Well, it's probably because er, there's lots of denizens who would -" Hmm. "Man, I feel for the guy who had to map this place," She looks between the two. "I have no idea." She admits quietly.

"Pleased to meet you, Harper." She lifts a hand in greeting, though she seems in awe of the place.

"-Witchy-poo!- Designate Witchie-Poo Roy-Friend!" Roy shouts quickly, as the red blinking eyes of the drones grow a brighter shade, indicating they were about to fire.

Taking a deep breath as Pete takes that blasted cigarette out of his mouth long enough to do the introductions, Roy casts a skeptical eye at Rain. "Are you sure, uh, Rain is going to be much good against dinosaurs? What's she gonna do, sweep them?"

Glancing up towards the sky, Roy grimaces. "Don't ask me. Dinosaur Island is -weird-. Temporal things surrounds this island, the carrier can't get closer, we had to get our butt in here somehow... the only thing I can figure out about Google Maps listing this place -only- for you is that you're just an £eechaa'itsa'ii biyaazh, that's all!"

'Witchy-poo'? Pete mouths in disbelief, frozen to his spot for a second before he shakes his head and hands his phone to Rain. "It's less likely to die in a fire if you've got it," he says matter-of-factly, "and maybe it'll figure out what universe it's in. I wouldn't trust it anyway, with my luck the base is in another castle." Then he blows smoke at Roy, because whatever that was can't have been very nice. "She'll be fine. Let's go, already. Which way?"

Wait. What. Rain blinks, opens her mouth. Squints, closes it. Looks a little wide-eyed. She's relieved she didn't get fired upon because being full of roy-bot laser holes would be terrible. "Yeah, that's it, I bop them over the head and tell them they're thoroughly naughty." She half-grins. Pause. "Nah, I have magic." If it comes to that, anyway. She listens, as the two talk. She carefully takes the phone and hms. "I see. I'll take care of it." She promises. "I'll follow you guys," She smiles. "If we have to, I can check out things from above with one of you. Though, just one." It is a broomstick and there might be pterodactyls. Ahem. She peers at the phone. But she ... doesn't mention witchy-poo. She probably has no idea what to make of it, really.

"WITCHY-POO ROYFRIEND ACKNOWLEDGED," the SHIELD drones repeat, before scurrying around, spreading out in a defensive circle.

"Man, maybe these things still have some bugs to work out. Oh well, no better time than the present," Roy replies, making a face as Pete's cigarette smoke bellows about. "So anyway, time to rustle out the snakes from the nests... if we can figure out where -on- this island it is... I don't suppose your phone has the location of the base? Because if it does, I'm pretty damned sure -you-'re putting out the hooboo-jinxes on us.

"ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDERS APPROACHING!" the SHIELD drones sound off.

"Oh, -what- now? Pete, this better not be another of your..."

And then a very large triceratops, with what appears to be a man dressed up in a snake hood (with very large red eyes. The hood, not the human, who's staring at Roy like he has -no- idea what kind of lunatic that is...), comes tromping out of the jungle. There's just a minute of blank staring between the Kobra henchman and the party...

"Look, it *has* got a location, but fuck if I know what dimension that's appropriate for!" Pete protests of the latest aspersion cast his way. He gestures in poor Rain's direction because she's holding the phone, adding, "I mean for all I know this could be HUMAN ISLAND and the base is full of fucking dinosaur KOBRA goons-- *no*! Chrissake!" He stops before he can get fully underway stomping jungle-wards, because obviously it's gonna be in that jungle SOMEWHERE, and he turns around to glare at Roy. "I didn't invite anyone else!" For punctuation, he sucks down the rest of the damn cigarette, then flicks it--

--he's not even hearing that there's a triceratops approaching, nevermind the henchman--

--away, and gives Rain a sad, sad face. "I think you better leave us on the ground for now. Can you scout ahead, though? See if you can spot where it actuall-- what are you guys staring at?"

Poor Pete. Rain looks sympathetic. The drones distract her briefly. Witchy...pooo... Royfriend. Her brain is having trouble processing it, the little spinny windows wheel going and going. "Are they in beta or something?" She seems curious about the little drones. She pauses and looks to the phone. She carefully pokes it. "I don't - hmmm," Let's see if she can get this thing going. At the approach of the man and his triceratops (she bets walking those things, let alone potty training one, is hellish), her eyes go wide as saucers. "Um. You were ... looking for snake guys...?" Snakes, it's always gotta be ... guys whose motifs are snakes. She carefully points at the guy.

"Oh for f---" And Roy's BIGGERFG4000 is out in his hands as he takes aim at the Triceratops. "Wisdom, stop being so BRITISH and TURN AROUND and -shoot-!"

The SHIELD drones are lined up, and already firing lasers at the very big Triceratops and... and what the hell, did Kobra start putting armor on their Triceratops? THat was just -gelding- the lily... except, well, one could see why the Kobra rider would want some protection and...

"Ahhh hell with it, lasers aren't working on the Triceratops!"

The Kobra rider, meanwhile, is frantically searching to pull out his comm unit and start reporting....

Oh. /That's/ what they're staring at. No, no-- the dinosaur's not first. And the comm device is tiny-- Pete /could/ hit that, but then they might have a triceratops stampeding them. ON THE OTHER HAND--

Wisdom lets fly a single hotknife, flinging it with the crazy accuracy of someone who's inhumanly good with a slingshot or something. Or like he can control the trajectory. It melts through the comm like butter and dissipates.

Pete's still got a fingergun -- god help him -- pointed in that direction; should the mook be particularly perceptive, he may notice it's pointed between his eyes. "OI! YOU! GIVE US THE DINOSAUR AND I WON'T KILL YOU RIGHT NOW, hell, you might even have a chance to escape or something--"

Rain is still kind of in awe of those knives. She also hopes never to be on the wrong end of them. Which is why she thoroughly avoids any event involving darts. It's a survival strategy. There's relief as the comm unit is destroyed and a kind of a 'whoa' reaction to Roy's BIGGERFG4000 (What happened to the other 3999?). She seems confused. Roy wants to zap the dino, and Pete doesn't. She holds steady for now, though- she seems to trust them well enough to let negotiations go without newting someone.

Well, -sure-, take the smaller target instead of the BIG EFFING TRICERATOPS. And while the comm goes away, the Kobra rider roars. "Go to the devil!" he shouts, bringing his heels, which seem to be armored heavily. Electricity seems to crackle against the Triceratops' sides, and it bellows, before charging the trio.

"Scatter, scatter!" Roy exclaims, already tossing the BIGGERFG4000 (See, before that, there was the BFG3000, and BEFORE that, there was the FG2000, and then there was just G1000... and then we'd be playing 999 guns fulla ammo on the wall...) aside in favor of grabbing for the bow, and getting ready to aim for the -rider- this time...

"Why are they all so SUICIDALLY STUPID?" yells Wisdom, backpedalling a few feet and then outright sprinting away-- running away doesn't facilitate shooting mutant sun-knifes out of your hands with any great accuracy, so he's not firing yet. "Rain! Get Harper! Harper, you get to ride it!"

Get to ride it? Pete's diving into the trees, himself, then hunkering down and getting ready to blow off the asshole's head and clear the saddle, as it were. "I mean you have a kid, you know how to handle angry dinosaurs already, right?!"

In the dino's defense, it's probably not the sharpest crayon in the evolutionary box. Dinosaurs, aside from a few phDs, are not known for sudoko prowess or hobbies beyond eating and stomping. She unslings her broom stick from over her shoulder. She hops on and is hovering a bit, waiting for Harper to hop on. One he's on and ready, she'll take up flight, to help get Harper into range to ride the dino. "Well, I think one draws on the walls while the -- okay, they both demolish walls." Yup. She can't really answer Pete's question. Rain seems to have a slight deathwish when her mind is peaked by something or she's curious.

"Wisdom, BARNEY AND FRIENDS does not prepare me any more for riding an angry dino any more than TELETUBBIES prepares -you- for a life of crack-smoking!" Roy shouts out. As laser beams from the drones reflect off the Triceratops, Roy is already shouting "Hey, hey! ABORT ShOOTING, SWITCH TO SENTRY MODE!" as he runs over to hop behind Rain. "Oh for... no wonder all the witches are -female-" he squeaks, trying to find a comfortable way to ride the broom. "Up, UP!"

Trying to get his bow in gear, Roy quickly realizes that maybe he MIGHT be overloaded, considering all the weight on him.

"God help me, why DID I think it was a good idea to carry so much?" he mutters as he flings the big guns off so that he could concentrate on just doing archery.

The Triceratops, meanwhile, is slow to turn, but BOY, does it -charge- so well... and if it's not averted soon, well... they could kiss their boat ride back goodbye!

Everyone's in place! More or less! Good! Pete, stopped behind cover, sends a small volley of hotknives toward the back of the Kobra rider, directed to insta-kill as efficiently as possible: head, neck, heart, spine. Plasma's a *bitch*, yo. "FLASHBANG ITS FACE, HARPER!"

Poor Roy. "Well, no, most male witches use vacuums or alternate forms of flight," Rain explains peacefully. ... and really, who's gonna fault 'em for it? She stifles a giggle and quietly rises up. Not too quickly, though, Roy probably doesn't want to sing soprano any time soon. At least she tends to use her guns from above, so she's familiar with getting a good angle for the archer. For now, she's concentrating on keeping them positioned and giving him a good shot. She's not a bad pilot, all in all and it's a bit like riding a motorcycle in the air.

And just how is Roy supposed to maintain his -balance? Screw it.

Wrapping his legs around Rain's waist, deciding it was easier for -her- to maintain balance, Roy steadies his stance, pulls out his flash arrow, and...

FWOOOOOOOOOSH!

One riderless flashbanged Triceratops... and Roy holds his breath as the Triceratops' pace slows down to... just shy of the boat.

"Phew..." Roy mutters, letting a sigh of relief escape his lips.

Good: dead guy, confused triceratops. Pete extricates himself from the treeline and wanders back out onto the beach, fishing in his pocket. For his Scotch. Because it's necessary right now, swear to god. "I think it can carry all of us," he comments utterly unnecessarily, then goes to loot the corpse, basically. The usual: anything useful, including the outside layer of uniform and stupid-looking hood; anything that looks like it can be used as identification to send home to family. "And maybe we want to consider *hiding the boat*. Just saying. I'd like it if we don't actually get made again. Hey! Fury didn't want the base intact, did he?"

Poor Roy. Rain squeaks a little as his legs are wrapped around her waist. She seems surprised, but hey, she doesn't complain. She is a steady pilot, looking over after the phew. "Um, I don't know. I don't talk - think I've even met your boss," She admits quietly. She'll land when and where Roy likes, "Where to? I don't know if it likes being pet. The guy seemed to zap it to control it." Doesn't seem terribly humane. "Do we have plants or netting to hide the boat?" Or - well, she's no wilderness expert.

As soon as they descend to the ground, Roy is immediately back on it, muttering. "I don't -think- broom riding is ever going to catch on for most of SHIELD," the archer comments, doing a few steps to make sure he's not permanently bow-legged.

Sighing, Roy looks for a better spot to hide the boat, before nodding at Rain. "Screw it. Roybots, gather up some shrubbery."

As the drones scamper off, Roy grimaces. "Yeah. So uh... how do we steer the triceratops without shocking it, Rain?"

"Carrot on a stick?" Pete suggests, pocketing his flask. "They're herbivores. Dangle something tasty in front of it, hold its head ridge thing to steer it, occasionally smack its backside. Worst that happens is it tells us 'fuck you' and goes to eat whatever plant's nearby, and shakes our hands off its head. And Rain can talk to it. She has a nice voice, it might listen to her."

As he moves to start digging around in the motorboat for a cooler or something, he can be heard to start muttering along the lines of 'wonder if they like sugarcubes'.

"Sorry," Rain frowns. "I should bring pillows or something. And poor Rain is glad not to lose her passenger. She looks thoughtful at the question of steering a triceratops humanely. "Well... I've never tried talking to one. I guess I could try that. I kind of like the carrot idea. So ... let's see. Ferns are really old plants. Let me know if you spot some ferns," She peers over at the drones. Then she blushes, "Thanks." She appreciates the compliment. "And I have no idea what they like beyond plants." She'll help rustle up some ferns and peer at the 'ceratops. "Hi there!"

"Triceratops...? No way. No... way," Roy exclaims. "I'll eat my hat if that works."

Later...

"Still don't believe it," a very trucker-hat-less hat Roy mutters as they ride along on the Triceratops, with Rain cheerfully dangling a bunch of big leafy things. Of -course- he got to ride at the very end. Near the business end of... "Ugh, ew. Can we hurry this along faster?"

Somewhere in there, probably while dropping another compliment, Pete snagged his phone back from Rain-- because for most of the ride thus far, he's been taking phone pictures. Because for shit's sake, there are /dinosaurs/, and Rain is carrot-on-a-sticking, and there is nothing better than the selfies you take with your friends in the middle of preposterous situations.

So it's as he's craning around to take a picture over Rain's shoulder that Wisdom spots rather a lot of /building/ half-eaten by the foliage. And half-buried in the mountainside. And, you know, patrolled.

"Hey I think this is where we let Spot here fuck off to eat his leaves and la. You get to be the guy who wears the dead man's hat, Harper, because you've got the volume and scenery-chewing necessary to bluff us in. Luckily you've got enough guns to cover two prisoners," says Pete, carefully sliding off Spot's back and staggering away a few feet so he doesn't accidentally get stepped on.

Fern-on-a-stick! Rain has a little smile as she helps steer them along. She doesn't seem to mind Pete taking pictures over her shoulder in the slightest. She stifles a giggle at the poor, hatless Roy. "I think triceratops have three modes, amble, run and charge." She considers. She's never steered a triceratops before, so she's careful. She does want to be humane about it, after all. She pauses, peering at the building, nodding. "Okay. I'll let you two get off first, give him his leaves and hop off." She'll gently pat the triceratops in thanks and hop off once Harper's off. "Well, my people skills are terrible." So she calls not it. She will move out of stomping range. "And er, sure, prisoners." Waitaminute.

"I still say we should have it just charge right into the base," Roy comments, waiting until the Triceratops comes to a stop.

The base is before them, only a short distance away, but at least Roy has time to go change, pulling on the Kobra uniform and hood.

Tucking a few excess knives into the uniform somehow, Roy adjusts the hood over his face, putting the shades away into a pocket somewhere.

"Okay, so... HAIL KOBRA, right? HAIL SERPENTOR. Or whatever I'm supposed to say," Roy mutters. "Is it spelled with a K or a C? Cuz I got to tell you, the chick in charge of Cobra is plenty hot."

Nudging Pete and Rain to march in front of him, the now-disguised SHIELD agent moves onto the base, which happens to be guarded by a couple of Kobra men.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"Bob. I've got prisoners. Found them lurking around out there."

"How'd -they- get here?"

"How should I know? I found -this!" Roy holds up Rain's broom.

"... cleaning service? Where's the vacuum cleaner?" jibes one of the Kobra guards.

"In this guy's big mouth," Roy shakes Pete.

"... uh... yeah. Go ahead. Want an escort?"

"Oh please, if I can't handle a couple maids..."

"... go right ahead..."

And in they go. Smile for the cameras, people, as Roy is going to make sure the duo notice all the cameras up there with a shake and a look up.

"Sure, I'll teach you all kinds of forced-march songs," Pete tells Rain cheerfully, before they're off and--

--give him credit, at least, Wisdom manages to only look sullen as Roy shakes him. Well. To look sullen and say air-scorchingly horrible things in Welsh, because who doesn't need a cute maid and a rude Welsh butler (butlers wear suits right?)

Once they're underway and Roy has them noting the cameras, he asks Rain under his breath, "Can you mess up electronics with magic? Like as in the cameras."

Rain pauses at Pete's offer. Pete sings!? She's learning all kinds of things. Surely butlers do wear suits! Though, Rain is not wearing a french maid outfit. No siree. She is wide-eyed looking and quiet, fitting the part of a bewildered prisoner. She doesn't speak Welsh and it's probably for the better. She whispers, "I could use a little electricity to short it. Just say when," It'll take her a moment, though thankfully she's a will-worker and doesn't gesture, flail or chant. But she'll only cast when told to.

I don't see that here.

"HAIL, KOBRA! Okay, HOOVER! Fifi! March! Right on. Two, four, six, eight, what's your fate? Four, eight, twelve, sixteen, what you missin'? Money, money, money! They ain't payin' me enough for this..."

And as soon as they're out of sight of the cameras, Roy mutters, "So we going right for the basements? Where else are they gonna keep their computer tech?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking. I don't know if it'd be better to zort any cameras we see or just let them roll and look like we know what we're doing," says Wisdom, scratching at his chin. "You know, next time we do this, can we do it with the building plans and electrical diagrams and shit? I'm really glad we're not on Human Island of Dinosaur Earth..." he mutters, jamming his hands in his pockets and picking up his pace a little. "Also keep an eye out for evac floor plans."

Rain is thinking, too. "I guess it would be kind of fishy..." She offers quietly. She can't really look to them, though she is glad there's no French maid outfit involved in this. She takes note of the walls and vents around her, dark purple eyes peering here and there. "I would imagine somewhere with lots of AC." Tech tends to run hot, after all and a basement would be a good pick.

"If we -had- floor plans, we wouldn't be resorting to -this- in the first place. Just be glad we're not inside the heart of a volcano. I think... if we go deeper into the place, we might end up near one. Then again... these dinosaurs are coming from -somewhere-. I'm telling ya, this island has to be really big to accomodate all those dinosaurs, and yet we can't get this mapped out -right- because it's like... like Brigadoon or something. Only with dinosaurs."

Taking a look at Rain, Roy shrugs. "Yeah. So we find elevators and stairs. Okay, so how do we find...?"

Two doors slide open further down the corridor, and a couple of Kobra troopers tromp out, and start marching away down the corridor.

"Stairs," Pete says firmly, under his breath. "Fuck enemy lifts. Doors open to a faceful of gun barrels and la." He gestures onward, in the direction that the stormtr-- KOBRA troopers are marching. "Stairs should be marked, and close." Then he steers Roy to walk behind him again, and Rain abreast; as long as they've got Roy in that hood, they may as well continue using it as a cover. Just in case. And he heads for those slidy doors and /prays for stairs/.

"Right," Rain nods. She's seen enough movies to know what happens when you open elevators. She suspects lifts is just a different word for it. Reading pays off. She walks with the others, glancing around, as prisoners are wont to do (for authenticity). "I think I see some stairs there," And look, Rain earns

a promotion to Admiral Obivious. There's a sign with a cobra in slithering pose going up stairs. Even a little sign from HR reminding people that walking up stairs is helpful.

"Well, yeah, that's the point of being prisoners, Wisdom," Roy grimaces. "You're -supposed- to have guns pointed at you as we escort you to prison cells..."

Of course, there was always the truth that they weren't really prisoners, and Roy acknowledges this. No video at the stairs, check. Video at elevator,

check.

"Okay, sneaky time. Move like a ninja cat, and if there's people out there..." Roy says, opening the stairs and motioning to go down.

At the end of the entry to each floor, helpfully, is an identifier pointing out what each floor has.

B1: KOBRA COMISSARY. KOBRA INFIRMARY. KOBRA KAI.

B2: KOBRA ARMORY.

B3: KOBRA RESEARCH LABORATORY.

B4: KOBRA COMPUTING CENTER.

"Yes. But opening an elevator door and seeing a metric fucktonne of guns pointed at your face is hardly my idea of a fun afternoon activity," grouses Pete, not quite /clomping/ down the stairs, but also just operating under the theory that he is being filmed at all times, so refusing to /look/ sneaky. "Wonder," he adds thoughtfully as they pass the level with the comissary, "if KOBRA springs for good coffee, or if shit comissary coffee's standard the world over."

Rain is not the biggest fan of stairs. Or having guns pointed at her. She is made of meat, which tends to suffer when holes are put through her. Regardless, she does her best to walk down the stairs quietly and look normal. "... no idea," She considers. Though, the idea of some poor KOBRA grunt gloomily purchasing those crappy lunch packs with crackers and food so salty he'll be preserved Egyptian style because he forgot his lunch is an odd though. Slices of Life: Maybe not so different.

"Finally!" Roy snorts as they hit the fourth floor. Not that they were -master- hackers, though, and prisoners were like... probably deeper down than that. "You know what...? You guys stay here. I'll go ahead, just... give me a few minutes."

Back up the stairs he goes...

Moments later...

"Here you go," Roy replies, tossing a couple of Kobra uniforms. Maybe they wouldn't quite fit right, but hey, they'd do in a pinch. So what if a couple poor schlubs were missing their clothes when they got out of the shower?

So on go the uniforms! Pete's is a little baggy-- the guy's never been what they call 'ripped'-- and Rain's probably gotta roll up her cuffs, and all he can do once it's on is turn his creepy hood Rainwards and ask, "Aren't you a little... short? For a Stormtrooper?"

He's still laughing at his own joke when they open the door to the datacenter. "Uh, so," he says a little hesitantly, "this is the part someone else has to do. I mean-- why don't I stand watch."

Rain pauses, carefully catching the uniform. She does have to roll her cuffs up, though happily, Rain is 5'9" and so she gets to - have fitting pants. She chuckles at Pete's joke, quirking a smile. "Well, just a little." Aren't they like, 6 feet? Oh well. Rain pauses. "Um. I can use computers a bit. I guess worst case scenario, I can try to cheat a bit." She glances between them. Depending on what they decide...

"Ahh hell with it, yoink everything and let the decrypters deal with it," Roy mutters, pausing to inspect Rain curiously. "Shouldn't you, like..." He motions more to his chest area, as if trying to, like, lift them higher, before throwing his hands up. "Nevermind, they're not gonna look too closely."

Peeking out the door, Roy moves swiftly down the hall, letting Pete lead them to...

"Harper. Go yoink everything and let the techs deal with it," Pete says irritably, waving his hands around briefly. "Do I look like I know what to pull? I don't think I can carry an entire /room/. Can we just blow it up?" He takes a half-step away from both of them. "Rain, don't kill him yet, please?"

Rain pauses as she's inspected. She looks to her chest area and turns red, looking a bit sadfaced. "W-well, this one is a bit loose, but honestly, trust me, if I had more /of/ them, I would have less problems, I think." Yeah, she just needs a bigger chest and surely more of her problems would - For now, she just looks sadface. "I suspect you'd probably want flash drives or hard drives, more than anything else," She notes quietly. "Wherever the data is stored. Or see if we can find any shared drives. I think I have my little keychain flash thing if we need it." She looks to Pete, "I was just going to turn him into a newt. But I wouldn't." She seems to understand, the words tinged with the realization that in a world of comic book women, she really got short changed in the top dresser department. Ahem. "Let's - see."

"Maybe if you got shoulder pads..." Roy goes on, as he checks his equipment.

The computer room is full of techies. Lots of techies. Trying to hijack information while looking like perfectly normal workers could be... tricky.

"Psst. Rain. I don't suppose you could like, magick us up to look like some -really- important commanders, can you?" Roy hisses, surveying the situation briefly before moving to a console. Don't follow, don't follow. Just look like you belong, that's all.

"He's an asshole," Pete says to Rain, sotto voce; he wanders, unconcerned, into the datacenter. "I think you're perfect." And then he pauses, and squints, and holds up a finger. "Be right back, right? We obviously need something done about this." And out he goes again.

Out to find a supply closet that's not currently occupied by a necking KOBRA couple, blow it the fuck up, and then pull the fire alarm.

Er, yeah. Rain looks awkward, she nods. She considers it. Illusion isn't her strong point. She just smiles faintly at Pete. "Thanks, and sure thing," She nods at him. "I could potentially - yes," To answer Roy's question, though, she decides to trust in the Pete for now. She doesn't comment on Roy, prefering not to set any bridges on fire that she need not. The trick is ultimately to look like they belong and it's not entirely impossible they'd have at least one shy nerd, right?

There was something -wrong- about seeing two human-snakes making out in the closet. One would have sworn they -were- testing the whole 'snakes roll up into balls to boink' theory.

The next door over was perfectly safe for blowing up, containing a reasonable supply of toilet papers, soaps, and other restroom supplies.

Roy barely bats an eye as the alarm goes off, leaving it to Rain to handle things. Out comes flash drives, and things were copied quickly, although Roy does hesitate briefly at a few things.

"Hey Pete," Roy calls out when Pete returns. "What do you make of this? Think Fury would want it?"

He's pointing towards what's being called a 'fusion' laboratory. Which apparently involves fusing dinosaur newborns with cybernetics to create... dun dund un... Cybernaurs.

"Well if Fury doesn't, I'm sure SOMEONE does," says Pete, shutting the door behind him as the last tech evacuates the datacenter. "I mean what if they're intelligent? Let's give 'em to the X-Men. Let's NOT give them to anyone who'd want to weaponize them." He heads toward the 'fusion lab', melting the lock if the door doesn't automatically open. "Hey Rain! Can you tell if they're capable of sentience? Or is that not-- a thing. Of magic."

Hmm. Rain looks thoughtful. She will hand the flash drives over when they ask. For now, she looks to Pete and the fusion lab. Poor baby dinos. She tilts her head. "Um. Well, if they're genetically modified, they could be," She considers. "I don't sense any obvious magic here. These guys seem more techy than ... wizardy," Xena will just have to blame the wizards another day. "But just because I can't pick it up doesn't mean it's not /possible/. And I sincerely doubt you want to sit here and watch me stare into space trying to figure it out." She looks over the place, perhaps trying to figure out the equipment. "But I'd probably put my money on either high tech or a tiny bit of magic on high tech. Like an evil cupcake, if you will. Now, let's see-" How to move these.

Grabbing ahold of the last of the flash drives, Roy glances as he works on completing the last of the data copying. "We might as well release them before we blow up the base. Pete, you and Rain go take care of that? I'll just find a nice reactor and stick some bombs in it and meet you topside."

"What did I tell you about goddamn reactors? /No/, Harper! Why are there ALWAYS NUKES?" yells Pete over his shoulder, honestly aggrieved. "There better not be nukes here. They're on an ISLAND. It's probably hydroelectric. Here: make sure it's not nukes, I'll slag this room before Rain and I leave with the half-robot dino-things, and then put your explosives in the sublevel above this one. It should take the whole structure down." He jams the lab door open with a chair, then goes in and dumps creepy things off a metal cart and puts the KOBRA hood down on it, starts lifting cybernaurs onto it. "Should be more rolly carts around here... getting these little bastards on the boat's going to be fun and a half."

Hmmm. Rain just kind of blinks at Roy and Pete. She opens her mouth. Closes. "Sure, I suspect there may be a hatchery or incubator nearby. Younger animals are easier to change and mold," She notes quietly. "I am uncertain if they engineer them before after hatching. Um, guess I should've done more biology," She looks sheepish. But she will definitely, definitely help Pete lift cybernaurs and potential hatchlings onto it. "I'll grab another cart," She nods and will get herself one. She peers at it, making sure it's not one with a wiggly wheel (she always gets the wiggly wheel). "I would imagine a dinosaur would be difficult to upkeep. Being a KOBRA poop scooper has to suck," She ponders this great truth in life. Rain is going to help with the dinostuff for now, letting Roy plan his explosives. "I hope they don't have nukes." Indeed.

"Did I say reactor? Dammit, I meant..." Okay, so Roy might be JUST a bit obsessed with blowing -things up- here, but darn it, things that went BOOM was -fun-.

Soon enough he'd found the location. "A couple floors down. I'll just get down there, steal a few cards, and meet you at the top floor." And off he went, separately for a while.

The cybernaurs were tiny, barely born, and squeaking and squawking, squirming all about in the hood, with little bits of metal dangling off it, colorful and small, like... like assimilated little Borg dinosaurs. Or Cybermen-dinosaurs. Other hatchlings, barely born and without any metal attachments, squawks and flap around. One, a tiny little colorful pterodactyl-esque thing, hops around and onto Rain, flapping its little wings happily. Another one attaches onto Pete, surveys its domain... and drops some lime on his shoulder.

"Right right," Pete calls absently to Roy, then starts getting climbed on and clung to. "Jesus," he mutters. "Right. All right. We can't keep the normal hatchlings-- we can't. Can you ... can you magic them to smell like another dinosaur mother's baby? We can... I don't fucking know, put them in nests somewhere... god, christ damn why is this so stupidly complicated-- we /have/ to keep the cyborg ones, they can't run about on the island, but seriously, the X-Men can figure out what to do with them. They're /weird/. The--"

It pooped on his shoulder.

With the most unimpressed stinkface in the entire world, Pete finishes loading up that cart, glances over to see how Rain's faring-- and if they have any left that won't fit. "Think we'll be all right moving these? I'm going to cut the alarms so we can use the service elevator, I think."

Rain stifles a giggle. Poor Roy. "I am certain there is something you can blow up eventually," She offers. Rain looks to Pete. "Um. I have no idea what dinosaurs smell like to -" Well, she could possibly sniff one but. Um. She tries not to giggle at poor Pete's reaction to having one poop on his shoulder. Fortunately, the gravity of the situation keeps her from giggling. "Do you know any archaeologists or biologists?" She asks. "Maybe a herpetologist. I'm not sure where the nests on this island are," She points out. "Mine's kinda cute," She looks to the little pterodactyl-esque chap flapping around on her and hopping onto her. D'aw. "I could just pet you. Yes." She /likes/ them. Rain of the Wild. "Um. I suspect the best plan is to get out first. We'll see if there's any nests around. Though, I suspect they may be better off with someone we know and trust." Though, the cyborg ones puzzle her a bit. Rain is faring pretty well, loading a velociraptor looking hatchling, who flares his frill at Pete. Which would be TOTALLY intimidating if he weren't all of 9 inches tall. "Feisty little fellow." She makes a note not to put her hand too close, but soon, her cart too, is full. "It looks like we've got 'em." At least, the ones little enough to carry. That don't have lasers.

The little colorful pterodactyl on Rain's shoulder chirps, before settling more comfortably, while Pete's just yawns at him, before trying to crawl into his hood and nestle in there.

All the hatchlings gathered up in a cart, and secured, no problem. Larger hatchlings... not present to be found, leading one to ask- just -where- were they? Especially since it was easy to tell that these were newly born, or newly hatched, still with their first skin on them.

Probably the information was on one of these flash drives, but who had the time? Not with Roy rigging up the explosions, and settling up to meet up there...

"All right," says Pete dubiously. He hesitates for a second, then decides to cut losses. "Dinobots, roll out." He starts backing his cart of mewling squeaky dino babies (some with fittings for lasers, certainly) out of the lab, then across the DC. Then out the door. "Let's see if the elevator works," he tells Rain. "Hold the door for me once the carts are in, I'm going to blow up their computers."

The elevators are indeed working, sliding open obediently.

The computers explode quite satisfactorily, although the mainframes were still on another floor. But that wouldn't be a problem, considering that Roy was going to explode the servers just fine. Of course, there was always the possibility that the main information had already been shared, but critical updates and informations were quite possibly still lagging.

Roy wasn't there when the doors open on the first floor. Instead, it's quiet... aside from the roars that occasionally reverb from somewhere outside.

"Mf," Pete mutters, pushing his cart out, glancing over to make sure Rain's out okay too, and then hey! Heading for the doors. "I wonder if Spot's outside anywhere we can find him. Wait, no: bet you we can steal a jeep. I'll stick here by the doors with the carts if you can scout for something we can nick to get to the boat-- I mean, provided you won't get shot at."

Rain pauses. Well, she trusts Pete's explodepowers. She smiles, as he returns. She nods, and moves along towards the doors. "Okay, I think I can. If anyone asks, I'm a confused trainee," She waves a hand. If there's anything she can handle, it's looking dazed and confused. "I bet KOBRA Garage has a jeep or two," She considers. "So - I can meet you -" And she'll try to work out a place. "If it comes to it, I'll cheat a bit." Read: Use magic to start the damn thing. Once she's sure of a spot or way to meet back up with Pete, she'll scamper. Like the wind.

And when the doors swing open, outside, a few Kobra troops were amassed, as well as a tall muscular smirking man dressed in a far more ornamental snake hood, complete with green cape.. It didn't take much to decipher just -who- that was. Although he does it anyway.

"It's not often we get -visitors- to Dinosaur Island! It's such a pleasure to have you here, my soon-to-be-deceased friends. My name is Kobra."

Yeah that's a hell of a slowdown; Pete does that thing that usually indicates people are disarmed, right? Puts his hands up to his sides, open and empty. No gun, see? Gun's in the holster. He glances aside to Rain, then down at the mewing baby dinosaurs. Then up at Smirking Jackass again. "You know, we could just go back in," he calls helpfully. "And you could go away, and we could come out again and you wouldn't be here. Have a scene reset. Since you've gotten your script mixed up with some poorly written fuckwit's."

Uhoh. Rain pauses, looks to Pete and the baby dinos and back again. "..." Her eyes widen a bit at Pete's comment, but uh, she sort of holds her hands up a moment too.

Roy, on the other hand, is not feeling so charitable. "Kobra, Snobra, whatever, this place could do with a lot fewer reptiles."

"Feel free to retreat like the cowardly rats you are," Kobra responds. Making a motioning of his hand, the man in the cobra's hood motions the party backwards.

Of course, whether or not they retreat, there's a great shout. "ATTACCCCCKKKKK!"

And naturally, there's a dinosaur/Kobra stampede towards the little party.

"Well, fuck," Wisdom says conversationally, shoving the baby-dino-trolleys back in the door behind them and stepping in front of Rain. He brings up two hands of blinding white hot DEATH and goes basically semiautomatic; he has a lot of hotknives. There are a lot of Kobra asshats and a LOT of cybersaurs, though. And if it were just a matter of taking them out before they got close enough to trample the little adventure party, it wouldn't be such an issue. Problem is= the fact that the Kobra dudes are /armed/-- and /ranged/. So primarily Pete's aiming for gunmen, and trying to make dinos panic and run the other way by being way too bright. "One of you grab a jeep or something! Find! Get! I don't bloody feel like expl--AGH FUCK." Well it /is/ a lot of guns. And the guy with the hotknives is an easy target. At least getting shot makes him angry instead of useless. He has a go at making a crater as a pretend moat.

Crap. Or what Pete said. Rain looks a bit wide-eyed at him. She's definitely in awe of Pete and his hot knives. "Um, I'm going to try to mend you-" Unless Roy objects and wants Rain to get the Jeep, because she'd rather not end up with a dead Pete. He's her friend and part of her daily quota of Snark. Him and Constantine, anyway. But regardless, those Kobra fellows have Cybersaurs and guns. Whatever happens, she's going to stand, concentrate and try to keep Pete from dying and mend some of the worst of his wounds. It takes a moment or two though. Such is the hazard of a subtle magic. Still, not requiring gesture or speech IS a pretty nice set of perks.

"NUUUUTS!" Roy exclaims, bringing up a hand to Kobra in a salute. As two-fingered as it might be.

As Pete works on setting up a pretend moat, setting dirt and rocks flying, Roy grabs ahold of Rain. "Hold on, YOU'RE going to help -me-!" Grabbing a pair of

baby velociraptors, and shoving them in Rain's hands, Roy snarls at the girl. "He can handle himself. FOLLOW ME!"

Another two handfuls of wailing, teeth-gnashing velociraptors, and then Roy charges into the shower of dirt and rocks that Pete is so helpfully setting

up, leaping over the moat...

And so when Kobra is shouting out commands, he suddenly looks up... just in time to see a maniacal suicidal idiot flinging teeth-gnashing hungry velociraptors into his hood.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Go with Harper! Get this asshole to call off his idiots!" thunders Pete through his teeth -- somehow -- he's favoring his side, but he's still on his feet, and he's still dishing out heaping tonnes of death; he edges to where he can at least use part of the metal of the doors as a shield from getting shot up even more. Yay moat! And then he starts (albeit reluctantly) killing some of the epic mounts, because the bigger they are, the harder they fall, and how the hell can you charge into attacking when there's an allosaurus rolling backwards at you?

"Okay!" Rain looks worried about Pete and the dinos, but, well. Gotta get that cart out of the way and get a jeep so Pete can get back safely. Then mend him

up. Yes indeedy. She eeps as she's grabbed, holding the baby velociraptors. Wait. She's supposed to weaponize them? She had them on her shoulders. Yes. She'll hang onto them. Something about a career as office raptors. She can't recall. Regardless, she'll follow Roy and help - though she tries not to giggle at the man with velociraptors into his hood - get a vehicle and hot wire or spark it to life. Jeeptime! Rain's on the job.

The largest of the cybernetic mounts staggers, thrown off-balance by Pete's actions. Encouraged by the incline and a few more liberal hotknives, Pete goes a-bowling, the allosaurus sending much flying.

Of the remaining forces, the infantry were thrown off-balance by the screaming Kobra, who's busy trying to pull tiny baby velociraptors off his face. Kobra

is sufficiently distracted that Roy can grab ahold of him. "OKAY, PEOPLE, BACK OFF! Call off your men, Snakeface! Or I can just leave you to be a chewtoy for... whoa, back!" A few more velociraptors gets smacked back by Roy down into Kobra's suit, and...

Kobra's suit description has been censored due to graphic maiming. Let's just say that Kobra is experiencing the velociraptor version of ferret legging.

"AAAAAAAAAGHHHH! CALL THEM OFF! OFF! EVERYONE, HALT! LET THEM GOOO!"

"Not -yet- done with you", Roy exclaims, as he drags Kobra towards Rain, where the witch is waiting with a successfully hot-wired Jeep.

Oh good. Pete can stop killing today. The Englishman casts about to see if there are any baby dinosaurs left over here -- nope -- awesome, and goes after Rain and Roy, still adrenalized past being slowed down by something like a bullet. He'll be sorry later, but by then Rain'll have time to fix him, and it'll be great, and-- he wishes he had his MP3 player because he's picking his way across dinosaur and mook corpses and MAN this is pretty apocalyptic and he doesn't have time to go looking for all their IDs, and angst is for after they get home. "Can we leave before it blows up," Pete gasps out, making it to the jeep and leaning on it, braced by both hands.

Rain will fix him! It's even free. She just likes Pete that much. Or she prefers not to just let people die. The two velociraptors in her arms are - falling asleep. Hey, she's warm. And warm is good. "Eh? Mine aren't very fierce," She looks to them. Either way, she's got to do something. And she does. Idea! Concerned about Pete not turning into a holey artifact, she squints at Kobra intently. A little less subtle than usual, but it's a rush job. Suddenly, he's a little green newt. Thinking quickly, Rain puts her hat over the now newted Kobra and scoops him up.

"... he'll get better." She states solemnly. But she now has a newt. For Roy

and Pete. That's friendship!

Chirping their way into her heart. Awwww. Rain resists the urge to stop and pet it. She lets the lil feller settle, seeming amused by Pete's. She seems puzzled by this conundrum. She will turn her cart around and walk fowards, so she can watch Pete's back as he backs his cart up. "Sure thing," She nods. She'll move hers in after his. She peers over their new pals (Or X-pals, depending). "I'll be right here," She promises. Rain will indeed hold the door for Pete.

"Noooooo" Kobra's objection is cut off, as he's transformed. and suddenly, the infantry start screaming. "THEY KILLED HIM! THEY KILLED HIM! AFTER THEM!

"Aw crap." Without much courtesy, Pete is shoved into the jeep, and Roy slides into the driver's seat.

Stomping on the accelerator with barely enough time for Rain to get into the jeep, the SHIELD agents (and a witch) are on their way back.

And from where they're looking as Roy is maniacally driving through the jungle, Pete and Rain are getting a nice vantage view of ...

... the Jurassic edition of the chase scene from the Blues Brothers, essentially. Pete curls up in the back of the Jeep, chubby baby dinosaur curled up on the safe side of his chest, flinging off warning shots out the back while Roy floors it and small trees break off bits of the jeep as they go. He looks, mostly, somewhat put out and bloody, but mostly like he's wishing he were in bed. "How long did you leave the count--"

WHOOOOOOOMSH

(bright light, heat, and now they are also outrunning concussive force and

flying trees)

"--down? Oh. Hey that was pretty fuckin' good, Harper, what'd you use?"

"I did not! He'll get better!" Rain calls back. She's in the jeep, with whatever dinos they managed to save, one (1) injured Pete and the Roy. She has a newt in her hat. Who is looking at her with the most wtf expression. "... you'd better stay in there or they have all rights to stomp on you, you know." She squints. She keeps her head down. And peers after Pete. "Hang on. I really need to figure out pain killers or something." Grumble. She does seem apologetic about her magic's lack of asprin or morphine built in. OH GODDESS. Wait, was that a flying tree?

"Uh... I don't remember! Something I snatched out of the armory when they said it made the biggest boom per square mile!" Roy calls out, even as he chucks a

few grenades into Pete and Rain's laps, grabbing whatever was available and at hand. "Go get whoever's left off our tails, and hang on...!"

BUMP! The car goes flying up, before settling down and on the road again...

And all too soon, once Roy is satisfied they don't have to do any more evasive manuevers, they're back on the beach where they'd first landed.

Piling off, Roy quickly leaps to yoink off all the foliage and such and... were they trying to gather up all the baby dinos in the back of the jeep now?

Yes. Yes. After the throwing of grenades and hotknifing unfused claymore mines that get tossed along with, and making even more explosions in their wake,

there is beach. And then! There are baby dinosaurs being bundled from the back of the Jeep into the back of the boat. And there's Pete leaning against the back of the jeep while Roy moves dinos and Rain holds a WTFing newt and tries to figure out magical painkillers. "I think," Wisdom says philosophically, voice a little strained, "they're too confused to keep coming after us anymore. Which is good. Because. I'm really hungry."

Rain and the newt are both a little wtf. She wasn't so awesome at PE and so the idea of chucking a grenade is a bit worrisome to her. Stupid hand-eye coordination. Grumble. But then, she seems relieved as they are on the beach. Either way, she offers, "Hopefully. I'll patch you up and um, we can get something to eat." She'll clamber out to help the others, though she's going to keep that newt in check. "Do we have a jar or anything?" She asks, remembering now. Newtbra might try to make a break for it, though - he stands approximately 0 chance out here.

"Stuff Kobra in Pete's jock," Roy calls out as he starts working on loading the raft so they can get off the island. "And hurry up, I think I saw a T-Rex

somewhere back there."

"What the hell is wrong with you." There's not even any heat in Wisdom's disapproval of Roy, there. Instead, once he's laboriously climbed into the boat, he dumps out the first aid kit, steals all the gauze, jams it on his side, then drills a couple of holes in the box itself before handing it over to Rain. "Stick him in that. Roy, jesus, go. Engage. Warp factor five."

Rain just looks between the two. "Thanks," She'll put the newt in. "I'll mend you up once our newt is secured," Though her eyes widen and she turns red. "I am not going near- I mean, that would be disrepectful." Her eyes widen. She just puts the newt in to the first aid kit and clambers in with the others. She'll work on healing poor Pete too.

"Suit yourself," Roy grins. "We've got enough presents for the boys back in SHIELD. Although I want to take one of those... and Pete, you wanna get that

big egg situated? I got an idea..."

EPILOGUE:

When Nick Fury returns next to his desk after Roy and Pete has returned, he'll find a very large incubator sitting on his desk, complete with a large egg in

it, and a hastily scrwled note coupled with a complete report. The report details the mission in full detail, as well as a note of thanks to Rain, while the hastily scrawled note reads: "TO AN ANCIENT DINOSAUR, FROM TWO WRECKERS: A T-REX EGG. MAY YOU TEACH A NEW REX OLD TRICKS."

And in another office:

The next time Maria Hill opens the door, she'll find a baby velociraptor, with a neck bow, collared and chained to her desk. Nearby it, two bowls, scattered

pet food kibble, and a messy puddle of water. And a litter box, the smelly dirt pawed at all over the place. On it, a tag is attached to bow:

"TO MARIA HILL, WITH LUV. THANKS FOR THE MISSION."