2014.07.26 - EXILES: Broken Time

When: Impossible to Determine

Where: Ditto

Why: Soon to be Revealed

To the uninformed observer, our scene would appear to begin in the middle of one of the most desolate deserts on the face of the Earth. The ground is dry and cracked, with barely any wildlife bigger than an ant. There are no hills anywhere to be seen, not even on the distant horizon. There's not even a cactus to break up the monotony of the landscape. There's just the Sun, looming ridiculously large in the sky, and the heat reflecting off of the ground.

But despite the inhospitable conditions, someone appears to think the location is a delightful vacation spot. An unremarkable man, apparently somewhere in his forties stands in the middle of the nothingness while sipping a glass of lemonade. He's on the wrong sides of both pudgy and balding, and dressed in a crisp white dress shirt accented with a purple vest and red bow tie. In short, he looks like the very last thing that one would see in a place like this.

"Should be soon." Reaching into his vest pocket, he pulls out an enormous, but otherwise plain, golden pocket watch and flips open the cover. Peering at the watch face through eyes that look more like empty black holes than actual orbs, the beginnings of a smile form on his face.

"Three... two... one..."

All around him, four bright lights begin flickering. The lights grow brighter, and then suddenly four portals tear open in a semi-circle before him.

Jo is back, for the third time. The tryouts at the Superheroes Clubhouse. He was rejected the first time, Superboy already had the power of Invulnerability, the only power Jo has. Jo left, determined to prove he could be a hero anyway. He went to Lythyl, home of some of the greatest fighters in the universe. There he spent a long time learning to be a fighter, and even though he was not the greatest in skill, he was close enough that the edge his power and peak human physiology gave him made him be offered the position of one of the Tribunes, the three rulers of the planet selected to be the greatest warriors. He turned them down and, instead, returned to try to join the Legion the second time. Again he was refused, "lacking any non duplicate abilities" they stated. This time he joined a group of other rejected members, the Legion of Substitute Heroes. He started studying and learned of the existence of a possibly mythical character called Batman. Like him, Batman was said to be a peak human physically, and greatly skilled in combat, but he is also said to have been an inventive genius and a great detective. Jo decided to take a lesson from Batman, improving his skills, adding a utility belt. Recently Mon-el, the last of the Invulnerable trinity, has retired to marry, so Jo came to this open call, seeking to finally take his place in the Legion of super heroes. They decided to test his power by seeing if he could stand up to the anti-energy of Wildfire. The blast did not hurt...but the world went away...

The Multiverse. It allows for endless possibilities. In some realities you might be almost the same except for a small difference. Or you might never have even been born. Or long since turned to dust. But when you're Hank McCoy aka The Beast... change is a part of the paradigm. The Beast of Earth 763 is far more brutish, in a number of ways, than the so-called mainstream reality version.

Moments ago on Earth 763... The Beast and Wonder Man were fighting M.O.D.O.K. in his lair. Nothing new for members of the Avengers on this world... except in this instance when a blast from M.O.D.O.K. fell Wonder Man. And sent The Beast into a feral state. Biting and clawing at A.I.M.'s favorite Mr. Big Head. Which led to M.O.D.O.K. detonating his chair's fuel cells as he was going to die anyway. That should have been the end of The Beast. At least until he was snatched by this strange man from his world. So everyone who arrives with him to this strange place will get to enjoy the lovely smell of singed fur.

The team was impressive; Penny Whistle, Penny Wise, Pound Foolish, The Janitor and Rosey the Rivetor, along with Sparkles the Wonder Poodle. They were just about to stop Mammon from consuming all of the Twinkie Redemption Coins from the latest refugee camp of the Neoconfederacy, when some psychotic dragon with a hook on his tail flew threw a tear in time and space and said, "Not the one I want..." But with a single gout of flame killed Penny Whistle's entire family.

Mammon didn't have to be told twice, and took his tokens and left. With Penny Whistle sitting there, shocked beyond imagining. The dragon swirled through the air, and tore another fabric in time and space.

The young Penny Whistle, but 19 summers old was dressed even more like a dork than someone who wore chainmail made of pennies and dollars. He had on a scarlet archer's hat with a vermillion feather in it that shimmered with metalic brilliance in the orange sun. He'd gotten it from the Tim Pac Bird of Tupucanoe. Around his neck lay the Pipes of Orpheus, won for his service to the god Charon in restoring the balance of the dead, but his greatest prize lay in his belt buckle, where his lucky penny kept him lucky all the live long day...unfortunately, that luck didn't extend to anyone else, which is why he was alive and his family wasn't. His Peterpanesque shirt was made of copper knitted together by his grandmother, Rosey the Riveter, and his pants were made of Elf Flirt Fabric.

The Dragon Pirate had ripped a hole in reality, weakening the fabric, but that rip was still there, growing larger. Finally, the shock began to wear off, and a tear fell down his face as he saw the remains of Sparkles the Wonder Poodle, charred to a girder, and the hole opened up, taking him away, just like Calgon, that mighty Cleanser of Evil.

The conquest which Robyn Locksley of Sherwood, the demon blooded queen, had brought over myst had been earth shattering, turning full areas upside down to uproot the last resistance. Three years ago, when she had arrived in myst she had picked the side of prince John, but as he had proven to be weak, soon she had ururped him and crowned herself a the ruler of Notinham and the Sherwood Forrest. Now, she eventually had succeeded in the unification of the whole realm nder her crown, the inignia of her royal might decorating the halls of her keep. Yet, having brought thefragile peace of a conquering, she didn't felt the satisfaction she thought to get. The air tasted dull and her healthy eye glared over the country from her vantage point in her private chambers. Some time ago, she had to lead an army from the front, riding the black stalion she had let an archwizard infuse with the esence of an irfrit. From there she had instilled fear upon her enemies, the 'cursed bow' in her hand killing man after man. But now, over the distance of time, the heat of battle seemed shale, the whole purpose of uniting the wold under one bannar doomed to fail. Yet she had to keep up the masquerade of an iron queen, no, not iron but steel. Yelling out to the forest in her surpressed anger about the situation, she turned her head to the racks with weapon that decorated her room. A moment her gaze fixed upon the sword of Ulster, then the spear of the Dun-Dulain, but what he picked up was the very first bow she had had when she came here. The bow she slew Prince John with. As she rushed from her chambers she yelled down the hallways, demanding for her steed to get saddled and fresh arrows be in the saddlebags, she wanted to hunt. Settting off into the woods on it, the hooves of the demi-demon teed of hers struk sparks, smoke emerging from its nostrils as she was starting to persue a flock of deer, but the feeling was not in the slightest similar to the heat of battle. But then that portal opened, a grin came over the scared face of Queen Robyn the first of Myst - Was this another opportunity for conquest? Hitting the flanks of her ride, she dashed towards it, a warcry on the lips as she put an arrow upon her string.

"Excellent. You've arrived." The short, pudgy man in the dapper vest snaps his golden pocket watch shut and replaces it in it's customary spot. "You're all a bit uglier than I was expecting, but I suppose that can't be helped. Here, have some lemonade." He gestures toward a spot in front of him, and a table appears with several glasses of ice cold lemonade. The sides of the glasses are already beginning to sweat, and that sweat is already beginning to evaporate into the hot, arid atmosphere.

"Oh, and I suppose you'll want these as well." Next to each glass, a pair of black sunglasses appears, each seems to be custom fitted for the person to which it's closest, which probably took some doing given Beast's crazy proportions and ear position. "I apologize about the heat, but if you'll all pay close attention to what I'm about to say I should have you out of here in... oh... ten minutes tops."

"I....I'll be brave." Those words are said as if by rote, but hollow in meaning. Penny Whistle puts on the sun glasses and sits down at the table. He isn't consuming the lemonade. "I'll be brave...." No, 'where am I' or 'who are you' or 'what the hell' or 'oh noes, my family has been barbecued by a psychotic pirate dragon'...just "I'll be brave...."

Achilles is bothered by neither heat nor light, but he does have a need to eat. Like his mythical predecessor, he as a flaw, a chink in his armor, and requiring nourishment is his. He takes up a drink and puts on the glasses to be polite. He looks around with a frown. The technology is unfamiliar, as is the location. He takes a seat and waits, wondering who all these others are and why they are here. Is this one of Prohectera's illusions...a part of his tryout?

The queen of Myst had pulled the strap of the horse, forcing it up and to dance upon her back hand, just as she had passed the portal, hut the greeting was much different from what she expected. The Gasses she eyed with her one eye and raised the bow till it aimed roughly towards the man with his nonsense "Ten minutes of what?" she demanded to know, the face stern as she looked down from the demonic mare at whoever had gathered here. A beast, a boy and another.

Beast growls at the short pudgy man... his long lion-like tail thrashing a bit behind him. The explosion snapped him out of his feral mode at least, but he's still not at all happy about suddenly showing up somewhere else. "Where are we?" Beast growls darkly as he rises up to full height and glowers down at the short man... his clawed hands flexing a bit as he crosses his arms in front of him.

The appearing lemonade and offered sunglasses don't manage to turn The Beast's frown upside down, in fact the scowl deepens more at all the hospitality. "So what is this... some cosmic joke afterlife. The realm of non-believers? And what does that make you shortstack... my God?" Beast snorts heavily at the very idea. He doesn't approach the table to sit. Just remains standing there with his tail thrashing a bit.

"Ugh... there's always one." The bow in the impatient woman's hands suddenly begins to wobble, and then the entire thing turns into a teeming mass of worms that quickly spills all over the place. "Behave yourself, young lady, and maybe you'll get your toy back."

The man's empty eye sockets then turn toward the feral monstrosity. But rather than upbraiding him or offering a witty retort, he simply gives the faintest of smiles before addressing everyone in a voice that sounds simultaneously warm and artificial.

"Now now, everyone settle down. We've got so much time and so little to see..." The man takes a sip from his own nearly-empty glass of lemonade and then sets the glass down before proceeding to speak in a concise, slightly hurried manner.

"You'll all be able to introduce yourselves later, but for now, here's what you all need to know: You have all been unhinged from time. The Multiverse has developed a few unsightly cracks, and unfortunately the four of you have been caught in them. Put simply, your realities have been so damaged that you no longer have any homes to return to. Which is why I've brought you all here, moments before you would have died in your own realities."

"A lot to take in, I realize, and you'll probably have all manner of inconvenient emotions. Some of you will cry big sobby tears, others will want to inflict violence upon something. I need you to keep all of that in check for the moment while I explain what we're going to do about it."

"My name is the Timebroker, and it's my job to fix reality and get the plates to all start spinning again the way that they should. To that end, you've all been drafted. From now on, you'll be sent on missions to various broken realities, and when you've repaired enough of them to fix the damage to your own worlds, you'll all be allowed to go home."

"Or, more likely, you'll die in some sort of ridiculously over the top fashion."

"I'll be brave." So it isn't just his family. It's Sparkles the Eagle, and Spoony the Smart Robot and Snarker the Magical Scrum Beast. They're...all gone. Otisburg? Gone. New Amsterdam? Gone. Charon? Gone. At least Mammon was dead, that mothertrucker. He was going to pay. He'd find a way to make that reality go back, and then make him die like a ship eating dragon drucker. "I'll be brave." He didn't feel brave though.

Achilles states, "Dying comes with the territory, one can not be a hero without risk. You say our realities have been damaged to the point of destruction. I assume that we were, all of us, near death in our own realities, so that we were not fully connected to reality?" It is a reasonable inferance, he may not be the detective Batman was, but he has some training now.

"Fixing Damage? You want the Queen of Myst and Leader of the demon army to fix your mess? You better pray to whatever entity you belive in that they have mercy with you when I am finished with you afterwards." Robyn boldly claimed, turning her eye to Beast. "You seem a capable Warrior... A look I like. Join me in the conquest for this hard of revenge open to us? A true Knight never bows the hack fully and keeps stong to trike down those that wronged them. And he obviously didn."

Okay... the faint little smile surprises Beast quite a bit. And it actually manages to put him a bit at ease. So he's willing to at least listen without trying to grab and pop the little man's head like a grape. Though he still doesn't take a seat, any lemonade, or the sunglasses. And the arms remain crossed for the time being. Though he can't help but laugh a bit at the way the man deals with woman's bow.

"Sounds like a great big load of crap to me. But not like we seem to have very many other options. But if you're messing with us... it's your reality that ends."

Beast cracks his knuckles just a little bit. He doesn't bring up the fact that he realizes that this entity could have grabbed Simon as well. That's a private pain for now. "If you're so powerful that you can grab us out of time.... why can't you fix these things yourself?" A good question... even if it's this Beast that is asking it. Though he does look to the 'Queen Of Myst' when she addresses him. "Lady... I don't know you any more than I know him. And right now... he's at least offering something other than foofy words."

"Excellent. Two relatively intelligent questions." The Timebroker gestures toward Achilles and Beast. "You two gentlemen just volunteered to be the leader of this mission. Now let's see... which is smarter..." He points his finger, and begins passing it back and forth, pointing first to Achilles, then to Beast. "Eeny, Meeny, Miney...."

"It's Beast."

A shimmer of light wraps around Beast's arm, and when it solidifies the monster is now wearing a large gold arm band around his forearm. It its center is a massive red jewel. "As the new leader, you'll be wearing the Tallus. This is how I'll communicate with you while you're on missions, and I'll issue my orders to the group through Beast. Which brings you all to your first mission. Good luck. Make me proud. And no, you can't have your bow back yet, Your Highness."

Suddenly, light shimmers around all four members of the new team and they're suddenly... elsewhere.

When: 1718

Where: Earth 616

Why: Again, You'll Find Out Later

The four appear in a tiny wooden ship with four oars and no sail. All around them, there is nothing but ocean. Well, that and a bigass pirate ship.

How do Our Heroes know that it's a pirate ship? Because it's flying the Jolly Roger.

The Timebroker's face appears in the jewel, and his voice can be heard by all present. "Welcome to the year 1718 AD. Wooden teeth are in, scurvy is a serious medical condition, and pirates plague the open seas. One such pirate is Benjamin Grimm, known in his own time as The Thing. But a few years ago he had an incident with a time machine, and now he is known in this time as the dread pirate Blackbeard. He has grown to like this time period, and is reluctant to go home. Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to activate the beacon that he wears around his neck, which will send him back to his own time. Good luck with that."

The pirate ship immediately begins changing course, heading straight toward the little dingy that Our Heroes are trapped on.

"I'll be brave." He looks at the Jolly Roger and wonders why the ship has the universal symbol for poison on the ship? Everything else screams pirates...yonkers! This must be an alternate timeline. He'd been to other dimensions and planes but never a what if world. Normally he'd be quite enthusiastic. As it was he was still processing the whole thing and kind of shocked. Really shocked. But where was the Mr. Yuck symbol on the flag? Just how different were things here?

Jo points at the Queen, "I suggest we pretend that you are our hostage, being turned over to Blackbeard as tribute. because our leader has decided to join Blackbeard's band of cutthroats." Jo has one trick he has learned, for some reason his invulnerability lets him damage other invulnerable creatures. It is not going to huer like being hit woth super strength, her strength is still only peak human, but it WILL hurt, which they usually do not expect.

Beast looks somewhat uncomfortable being singled out as the 'smarter' one of the pair. And being put in charge of things. But that momentary uncomfortable look is quickly wiped off his face as the Tallus wraps around his wrist. "Are you sure about this?" Hank wonders... though even before the last part of his question is asked they arrive in a new location. Where Hank has to get his steady footing under him in the tiny wooden ship. Beast crouches down in the small boat so everyone can get a good look at the Tallus as it lays out their mission.

"The Thing with a beard? Didn't even know that was possible." He snorts just a bit in amusement and then glances over at the Pirate Ship. "Sounds like a piece of cake." Hank pats the Tallus lightly and grabs some oars, tossing them to each one of the people with him. "I suppose to start we should... get rowing?" He gestures towards the ship. Of course, that's before the Pirate Ship changes course to move towards them. He blinks a bit though when Jo offers up his plan. "Well... I'm on board for that if everyone else is. Nothing pirates like more than some wenches." He grins widely at the two ladies with them. And then cups his hands around his large fanged mouth and shouts. "AHOY! We wish to parlay with Captain Blackbeard!!"

The noise of a blackpowder pistol is the only response that the group gets. Fired by an especially scurvy-looking pirate, the round punctures the floor of the little dingy, which begins to quickly fill with water.

"If ye wish to speak with the Cap'n, you'll have to do it with yer lungs full o' water, ye bilge rats!"

Okay, so the pirates aren't the most welcoming bunch on the high seas.

"When ye've drowned to death, we'll fish ye out and use your bloated carcasses for all manner of activities."

"I'll be brave..." Penny Whistle doesn't feel brave. He isn't strong or invulnerable like the others, much less Thing....maybe related to ThingamaBob? And right now pirates....he mother trucking hated pirates...he'd promised Pound Foolish he'd never do this but...he began to play the Pipes of Orpheus. Useful for entertainment all around, but also, actually, as a side benefit useful for summoning up the dead. A thick fog began to roil around the boats, and a faint moaning was heard in the background, as the pipes asked the Sea to borrow her dead...and the Sea replied with kindness. Now that Pound Foolish was dead, he could just try to bribe the captain with Gold,since he was hair to the Market's Folly ...but he didn't know about that. All he had were his pipes, his penny, his feather and his wits. And about a thousand dead ghosts soon to arrive.

Jo can't drown, but he is pretty sure the other have no such promise. Jo quickly pulls out a grapple gun fom his ulitity belt and sends up a line to the spar of the sail, he says, "I suggest you climb up.". He could fly, when he was rejected he did get a flight belt, but it is best to save that for later, if a surprise is needed.

The pirates did a foolish thing though by moving the ship closer. Beast turns and growls a bit at Penny Whistle. "Starting a major conflict with them is the last thing we need to do in this situation. So unless you're just tootin' on your pipes like Zamphire, I'd cut it out." Yeah... he's not above throwing his weight around even within his own group. Maybe putting him in charge wasn't the greatest idea. Especially given that whole... diminished IQ thing. But at least he doesn't need to work a computer to deal with privates. "You help them aboard. I prefer the more direct route."

Where as the typical flavor of Beast would be all about talking his way out of a fight... this one has had to compensate with his more beastial form. And he crouch-leaps from the dingy towards the pirate ship with a feral snarl, digging his claws into the side of the ship and climbing his way up and on board. "The Beast refuses to deal with peons and riff raff. I demand to see the Captain!"

Penny Whistle isn't really a leader per se. He follows instructions, just like he did for the Janitor or Pound Foolish. In fact, with an equally strong mother and grandmother, Penny just followed orders, so telling him to cut it out was not too difficult. The Sea was annoyed at the teasing but listened, as the pipes stopped the summoning of the ghosts. Climbing the line was easy though, since he was a far more nimble and dextrous fellow than his 616 counterpart, and up like a sailor born he was.

Jo grabs the line gun in one hand and Queen Robin in the other, he hits the retractor to pull them up to deck level and swings the two of them onto the ship. He places himself between the pirates and his "captive".

This apparently didn't go as planned, and the deck of the Queen Anne's Revenge quickly becomes a scene of chaos as the pirates begin scurrying for weapons and attempting to repel the invaders.

The man who shot the hole in the dingy appears to be the vessel's first mate, as he's the one barking orders at everyone as they attempt to get organized. Soon, there are more than a dozen pirates armed with black powder pistols and various types of bladed implements. "Make haste, ye dogs, let's skewer this Hairy Devil and his band of landlubbers and mount their heads on the front of our ship!"

Shots begin ringing out, swords begin flashing, and the fight is on.

Penny Whistle begins to play again, and this time the sea is annoyed. It scolds Penny Whistle like a cat that doesn't know if it wants in or out, so the mists are slow to form, but the boy's skill with the pipes is sure and swift, and finally the sea relents to the Orpheus melody, and the ghosts begin to appear, slowly, one, then ten, then more as they swell. One of the pirates approaches Penny Whistle, seeing the source of the music, and raises his cutlass, but without missing a beat, the metallic feather is withdrawn from his hat and he cuts across the throat of the pirate, severing his head with the infinitely sharp thing. Penny Whistle doesn't like Pirates right now.

Jo puts his hand against the opening of the pistol of the nearest pirate. The shot hits his invulnerable hide and backfires, exploding the pistol, he says, "You can't hurt Iron Jo Magarak, I can work molten steel with me bare hands. Lead is too soft to dent me hide, yar."

Beast singles out the First Mate and charges forward, even as black powder pistols and swords are drawn. A feral growl as Beast manages to avoid the first barrage, and backhands the First Mate with enough force to send him flying head over heels to land in a heap. It's certainly not the behavior most would associate with The Beast from their home realities. As he turns and snarls at the crew. "I said... I don't deal with peons." As a couple of steel balls from the the black powder guns slam into his chest. But this Beast is more animal and more durable than most. "Is your Captain a coward? Hiding in his State Room like some quivering schoolgirl. Shaking in his petticoats and frocks!" Beast raises his hands to his lips again and calls out a name. Hopefully The Thing is the same Thing from his reality. And not Mr. Fantastic with the Thing's powers. "BENJAMIN J. GRIMM! The Coward of Yancy Street!"

Whether or not Blackbeard would have emerged from his quarters or not had he not heard insults levied at him is debatable. One might wonder why the captain of the Queen Anne's Revenge would be sequestered away by himself. But as the intricately-engraved door to the captain's quarters opens, the briefest of glances inside will confirm that Blackbeard wasn't even remotely by himself. Rather, as the half-clothed pirate with the epic facial hair and the rocky hide emerges, a scene of debauchery and drunkenness can be seen behind him. There, in the quarters, are about twelve naked wenches, and more empty wine bottles than can easily be counted.

"Enough!" The gravelly voice of BlackbeardThing drowns out pretty much all other noise as he bellows from his position in the door frame. "There'll be a reckonin' for intruding upon me drunken revelries and killing me buzz. Youse guys is in fer a flagellatin' the likes of which will shiver me ship all the way down to her timbers." The pirate begins half-staggering, half-stomping across the deck, drawing a hushed silence from all of his men. His voice is all over the place, with his accent switching back and forth from 18th century cockney to Yancy Street hooligan, all tinged with a pervading color of drunkenness. Singling out the largest and hairiest of the intruders, Thingbeard points one of his massive orange fingers and gives a stare that people tend to only give right before squishing the life out of someone.

"You there. Ye've angered Blackbeard. Now, 'tis time for thee to receive a clobberin'."

It IS ThingamaBob! But surely appealing to his reason....but he's a pirate. A Mother Truckin Goose Eating Dragon Pooping Poopy Poopy Dang Pirate. "Yes." Penny Whistle says for the first words not involving being brave, "It is." He snaps his fingers and points at the crew as the Ghosts rising from the sea set forth upon the pirates crew. One easy way to accomplish a mission. If every other human on board the ship is dead he might have less inclination to stay.

Jo pulls out some smoke capsules and renders the immediate area hard to see through, then he sets about knocking out the pirates with his strength and skill, hopefully the smoke will throw off the aim of any shooting at Penny and Robyn. He has nothing to worry about, the only one here who might hurt him is the Thing.

Beast just crouches and snarls again... as Blackbeard Thing stomps his way out onto the deck. "Sorry to interrupt your makeover... Pebbles. No bows in your beard for our date?" Beast snorts a bit as starts to sort of circle The Thing... staying out of arms reach for now. Especially since half the time it doesn't look like The Thing can remain upright given how drunken he is. Switching his focus between Thing's face and his feet... watching for a moment of weakness either in his consciousness or his footing. "When I'm done with you.... I'm going to take that pretty necklace off your neck and claim your ship, your treasure, and crew, and your women as my concubines. But I won't kill you... you're too pathetic and amusing as you are." He's trying to push The Thing to charge or leap into attacking first. Since he's so drunk off his ass.

It might have been a shockabout having been disarmed that had kept the Queen of Myst silent for several minutes, but then she lifted her head and grinned wide. Vombat. She might not have a gun, but what had stayed with her was the quiver of arrows on the saddle and the horse itself. Once more she forced the ride to dance on the backhand, as the bullets passed left and right, a pair smashing not only into the flesh of it but ripping out huge chunks that revealed to some degree that it was not earthly material which made the horse, but its inside were ablaze. More bullets ripped open the outer shell of the demonic steed, liquid fire dripping to the deck as the front legs of it moved, kicking after pirates and smashing the skull of a poor victim. Then they descended to touch the deck again, a lucky Musketball ripping off the left front hoof and sending it skittering over the deck. Still, this crippling damage did not prevent Robyn from crharging forward on the wounded mount, the golden eye ablaze in a manner simmilar to the wounds of the animal. The harmed leg smashed through the shoulder of a seaman, turning him into the mot gruesome pegleg in all pirate history, while the rider pulled a handfull of arrows from the quiver to launch them by hand into the crowd close to Captain Blackbeard the Rock. Some hit the necks and send them tumbling over the deck, others pinned a handful crewmen to the ground, but there was quite some return towards her. And instead of just passing her and ripping the shell apart like on the horse, the bullets that hit, made the woman bleed. A combat scream on the lips, the leadballs hammered into the right shoulder, hattering the bone of it and turning the arm into what looked like a marionette with cut strings, originating from a mass of red pulp. But she did not stop, charging forward towards the Captain and spreading death and blood where she pased with the remaining hand as more and more bullets started to hit her. Another luckyshot hit her healthy eye, cracking open some of her head in red mist, but it was a simmilar golden blaze lig in the eye she had lost already which replaced it, despite the horrid half face when she continued thecharge for several more yards. Only then another ball did hit the chest in a way to shatter the ribcage and spine to send her aloft of the horse - or rather only the upper half of her...

Mangled and shot to pieces, Queen Robyn I of Myst ended her existance like she had lived - not caring for the consequences as she rode ito battle to take down a many as she could, the only thing that was able to move her for since she had been entrapped in Myst.

As the scene all around him becomes one of carnage and violence, a grim smile spreads across Thingbeard's rapidly-sobering face. Aside from his plumed hat and a pair of primitive underwear, the only other thing that he is wearing is a swordbelt. From this sheath he draws a massive pirate-y saber that was either made specially for him or for a giant. "Defend yerself, cur!"

And with that, Thingbeard begins swinging his sword in swift deadly arcs at the bestial intruder. "Ye'll not lay a finger on me wenches, but when I have ye stuffed at a reputable taxidermist I know who plies his trade near the coast of North Carolina, I'll be sure to leave your carcass in me cabin so that the wenches can point at ye and laugh. And throw things. And make ye wear ladies' hats."

As a threat, it's long and rambling, but that's probably all you can expect out of a half-drunk Thing who thinks he's a pirate. He's clearly having quite a bit of fun, despite his men dying all around him, which means that he's probably not merely pretending to be Blackbeard.

He really believes that he's the pirate of legend.

Jo is not a happy camper, between the ghosts, which are downright creepy, and the fact that Robyn just died from not staying behind him (where did the horse come from he wonders...well it was clearly not a normal steed, so perhaps she summoned it)...well he has reason to be upset. Well, we have a mission to do, and he sees how to do it. He is not as strong as this guy (probably), but he is way stronger than steel. Jo jumps forward and strikes the sword so that his force hits the weakest point on the blade, shattering it. The distraction should let the Beast get to the recall device...

The ghosts slam into the pirates. They aren't particularly coordinated really, with no officer corps, but when points a gun at Penny Whistle, he goes down and over board, rended limb from limb. When Penny Whistle points at one and then another, they too go overboard. At one point, the pirates below are working on taking out a cannon and pointing it upward, but their luck runs out as suddenly the hinge on the cannon unleashes, blowing a hole in the side of the ship and shredding their flesh. One is barely alive only to see a ghost float up to him, wave its finger back and forth that the pirate had been a naughty boy...and gouge out his eyes.

Beast despite being larger and more imposing in this form... is still swift and agile. At least more swift and agile than a drunken Thing. Even with the two slugs in his chest from the other pirates. At least they're leaving The Thing and The Beast to fight each other. Probably because killing Beast before Thing can would just earn a death sentence for stealing the rocky pirate's revenge for the assaults against his honor. Hank swiftly avoids the first slash of Thing's sword as he charges in close, though a quick slice by The Thing opens up a gash in his side.

But it does give Hank his opening as he leaps on Thing's arm and then up onto his shoulders, wrapping his legs around his neck to keep him steady while his hands quickly try hunting for the necklace he was told about. Hopefully managing to avoid any wild swing of The Thing's sword.

Watching his favorite sword get shattered is enough causes a roar to erupt from the Thing's lungs that's so powerful it blows a few of his own men over the side of the ship. The double team action appears to be enough to throw him off balance, and he begins falling backward as his necklace is snatched off of his neck.

The device on the necklace begins beeping audibly, accompanied by a flashing blue light. "I'll kill alla youse! So swears Blackbeard, for the love of his Aunt Petunia!"

But the venomous anger that he spits out is short-lived, as a glowing machine suddenly appears behind him. There, operating an honest to god Time Machine, is Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four.

Mister Fantastic says nothing to those assembled, but rather sends a giant hand to wrap up the Thing and quickly retrieve him aboard the craft. While looking at several different monitors, he notes the assembled future folk.

"Interesting." But whatever he sees on his monitors apparently makes him think that the group of travelers isn't something he should interfere with, so he throws a switch on the device. It disappears almost immediately, leaving behind a partially-wrecked pirate ship populated only with Exiles and ghosts.

Jo comments with a crooked smile, "Things looked Grimm for a moment." He wonders how long it will be before we are returned to our time. Possibly we will need to get in the ship's boat and return to our starting point, if we can find it.

Penny Whistle says, "I should be brave." Now that the mission is accomplished, he can call off the ghosts, right? Oh wait. They're Pirates. He just looks at Beast expectantly and puts the pipes back around his neck whilst the ghosts continue to murtilize and maimhem the pirates around them in horribly horrific ways."

"Tell your spooks not to kill the women in the cabin, most of them will not be deserving death," Jo suggests.

Of course... Beast is a bit worse for the experience once The Thing has been collected. He's got blood trailing from his wounds and is breathing hard. He's never had the experience of fighting The Thing in his home reality. And is glad that this wasn't a direct blow to blow fight. "I hope we haven't messed up time by killing everyone." Hank offers weakly as he looks around. "Jo's right. In fact... give them command of the ship. Female Pirates have to start somehow. Now we should..." And he falls forward and lands with a heavy thud. Hopefully the Timebroker offers Obamacare or something. "Check please." Hank groans before losing consciousness.