2013.05.19 - Shop or DIE!

It all started on a nice and quiet night, until all forms of communication were interrupted by a message from Outer Space!

"People of Earth, I am L-Ron The Robot, I represent the Cluster. I am here today to welcome you to the wonderful and spectacular world of Interstellar Barter! We trade anything you want, for anything we want. Many planets across the galaxy need what you have in abundance, and Vice-Versa. For a modest fee we'll act as go-betweens. But you must act quickly, you have 12 hours to respond. If you miss the deadline, we'll assume that you don't wish to share your bounty, such selfishness in this age of mutual respect, must be punished! In other words we'll take what we want and leave your world a ravaged wasteland. Shop or Die people of Earth! Offer void where prohibited."

So after that announcement happened the UN went out and panicked, they made an open call to all heroes, policeman, fireman, boy and girl scouts, anyone that could help. The heroes were told to gather at the UN Building, they had set up a special room setup for all the heroes that came. The secretary-general of the UN walks to a podium setup, he bangs on it to get everyone's attention, "Gentleman and ladies if I can have your attention please I will go over the plans for tonight."

And hey it's the Blue Beetle, he answered the call for help cause hey it's awesome that there was a call for help. He's over by the snack trays, cause hey the UN puts out a really awesome spread for such occasions.

Miles almost didn't come, on seeing the call for heroes on the news. This seemed far too big for the new kid, but Ganke can be quite convincing when he wants to be. So it is, at the back of the room but sticking to a wall to give him the height he needs to see, is The Spider, in his home-made costume surrounded by not just bigger but far more experienced heroes.

Just how the heck did one Laura Kinney a.k.a. X-23 get roped into this? Seriously. The X-Men aren't well known publically. Neither is the school. Heck, she's been trying to keep /low/ profile, and /away/ from government scrutiny. After all, if Weapon X finds her...


 * Cough*

Anyways, as various heroes assemble at the UN, there is an extra one. One that's out of the way. Trying to stay in the shadows for now.

After all, as was said, she's trying /not/ to become known.

Patrick is...not having a good day. Nor is he having a good week, or possibly a good year despite it being so early on in the year. He has barely had time to start to process the fact that large parts of New York look nothing like they should and that he is unable to contact any of a number of people he should when his suit picks up the message to come shopping or die. The open call to heroes from the UN gets his attention, if for no other reason than it will get him in the building and have a chance to see if any of the people he /needs/ to check in with and be debriefed by can be found. It would also give him a chance to acquire files that might help him figure out why the world is not right. The Stealth Tech built into his suit has given Patrick enough leeway to get around and a good enough excuse to be late, if asked he will just claim to have been there all along. That is unless someone notices the slight distortion that follows the Secretary General into the room, crawls along the ceiling, and stops not too far from Miles before the Red and Gold colored Iron Spider shimmers into existence as he turns off the stealth field to be part of the briefing.

While the Avengers may or may not put in a presence here Janet still came, the Winsome Wasp wanting to do her part to help. Currently standing close to the front and in costume, she merely stands and listens intently, not wanting to miss anything.

"Heroes thank you for answering our call for aid. Sadly we have decided we must fight off this menace, but our forces are not capable of handling this. We have detected a device in the Mojave Desert that is alien in origin. Scans have indicated high levels of energy coming from it, as well as several heat signatures, so it is well guarded. You will be heading to that device to investigate it. We believe that it does have something to do with this so called Cluster. Are there any questions?"

Ted Kord is still at the snack trays, when he lets out an excited scream, and yes he does scream like a girl, "OH MY GOD! They brought out pigs in a blanket, I love those!" Yes he starts the grab those and shovel them into his face, hey a hero needs to eat. But as he shovels food into his face he does ask a question, "How are they getting to the Desert? I have an aircraft we can use." Is what he says, what it really sounds like is, "Murthuhmphumph..." swallowing sound, "aircraft we can use." See everyone's lucky they'll get a free ride on The Bug!

The Spider's mask does a pretty good job of hiding his expression, luckily, since the briefing has done nothing to convince him he isn't in way over his head. He looks around, then noticing the other Spider-themed-hero in a much-cooler-looking costume nearby, and gives a small wave.

And Laura Kinney stays in the shadows. And listens to what is said.

And facepalms at The Blue Beetle while he both shoves food in his face and asks a question at the same time.

But she is curious as to how people will get there as well. All though her gaze does eventually drift to both of the spiders as she glances around, her gaze drifting towards Janet for a moment or two after that, before she glances back at the guy at the podium.

The Iron Spider just stares at the strange man in the blue costume. While he does not have any knowledge of half the heroes in the room this clown of a man seems to be the most resptected of them and he is not treating a possible alien invasion with any seriousness at all. Thank whom ever the people around him belive in that his mask covers his absolute surprise at this. As the other Spider in the room moves Pat zeeroes in on him and watches for a second before returnign the wave. He does speak up after Blue Beetle finishes talking with his mouth full. "Will this be a straight assault, or is there plan for infiltration and information gathering first after finding a way to reach the location?"

On Janet's part she has no questions although she probably would not be able to voice any if she were to have them thanks to the Beetle's manners. What she does do is roll her eyes and sigh, her head shaking slightly. "I can see this is going to be entertaining," she says, meant to be whispered to herself, but it's said loud enough for some of the heroes to hear her. They laugh and she blushes. "Whooops. Sorry, guys!"

"That is a very good question. We did have a plane set aside for you, but well since you are offering to use your own aircraft we can use that. It would be easier than teaching you to fly our plane." And they don't have to risk a pilot getting hurt. "As for the other question, we will leave it to your judgment. Our abilities to get a good read on the location have been severely impacted by the alien technology, so we will need you heroes to be able to think fast on your feet. Now if there are no more questions, I suggest you embark on the mission, we do not know if they well keep to the deadline they gave us."

Ted is looking at the spread some more, and hey he has pouches on his belt, he starts shoving some more of the hot dogs in there. But once the Secretary-General has finished speaking, he feels the eyes on him, "Oh hi, I'm the Blue Beetle. I guess I'm going to be your pilot for tonight. So uhm if you guys will just follow me I'll take you to my aircraft, I got permission to park it on the roof."

Once at the aircraft Beetle gives a quick tour, "So you have everything you need here. There is a TV connected to a satellite dish to help keep you entertained. I also have soft serve and espresso machines." As he says that one he walks over to the machine and makes his own latte, "Please if it looks dangerous, don't touch it." And then he makes his way to the open cockpit of the bug shaped ship and they are off.

The Spider hesitates just a moment, perhaps to psych himself up, but he hops to the floor and starts to follow after the other heroes. At least nobody's telling him to go home. He looks around the jet with obvious curiosity as they board, "Whoa... this is amazing." He finds a seat, though, quickly.

Yeap. Laura stays out of the way. In the shadows.

And when the bug lands, she does her best to slip onboard, without anyone /outside/ seeing her entering. once inside though she doesn't exactly try to hide.

There is one thought in the head of the Iron Spider. //When I die I wonder if they are going to end up cloning me.// He does not have the greatest of confidence in the hasty mission given by entirely the wrong parts of the UN to a team of whoever just happened to show up. Once everyone starts to follow the Blue Beetle to his ride he lets go of the ceiling and does a small flip to land on the ground. As he passes by the food spread he decides now would be a good time for some quick food to keep him going so one of the Spider leg like waldoes pops out of the back of his costume to snag an apple and a banana. Once inside the Beetle Jet, or whatever it is called, he feels the drive to quip or say something sarcastic, but he and his brothers were never good at the quips thing. There is a small part of him that wants to see if he can hack into the jet's computer system but that would be rude to do to an ally before a mission. Maybe on the way back.

Janet follows along once the craft lands and Beetle starts to onload passengers, her expression held carefully in check up until the time she hears 'soft serve'. "Oh no you didn't just offer me ice cream," she almost squeals. "Do you know what that'll do to my girlish figure?" She must be planning to work it off later though as she's dishing herself up some while waiting for everyone to get ready so they can get on their way.

Once everyone is aboard and settled in, Beetle flips the switches and the Jet goes into Supersonic mode. A little over two hours later the plane is at the destination, and Beetle is speaking over the loudspeaker, "Ladies and gentlemen we have arrived, thank you for flying Beetle air. The temperature outside is at 90 degrees, so I hope you packed light. Also my on board scanners indicate about 20 people down there. I am punching the view of the device and the aliens onto the onboard monitors right now." He presses a few buttons, and several TVs on The Bug display the outside world, just magnified.

The device is large, very large, it is about the size of a small New York Skyscraper. There are a few patrols of guards on the outside, and well the rest must be inside if they are there. As for entry points, there is only one very visible one, if there are others they are hidden. But The Bug lands and gets ready for the heroes to go and fight the aliens!

And on the Cluster Home Ship

"L-RON WHAT IS THE STATUS OF THE EARTH NEGOTIATIONS."

"Lord Manga Khan, you are yelling again, you need to remember to take your medicine. We have some bad news about that, it seems that Earth is fragmented, there is not a single planetary government like the rest of the universe seems to have. This planet is just strange sir. But that may make it easier for us, we believe they will not reach an agreement so we can just take what we want."

"Excellent L-Ron, this pleases me. Keep me posted on the status..." he pauses at that, "what happened to your assistant, GRG-MRTN?"

"He was slow sir. It seemed he was taking years to do even some simple writing, not caring about the people waiting for what he was writing. He was supposed to write a simple commercial, and well the product was out dated by the time he was done. So we recycled him."

Now back to Earth.

The Spider looks to the display of the device, and asks, "Anybody know what that is? Is it their market or what?" He takes a deep breath as the jet lands, and he hops to his feet. He lets the older, more experienced heroes walk out first, but he follows along.

And thus the commercial that would of unified the Earth, and made them want to trade with Manga Kahn, the commerical known as 'GM F TONES' will sadly never air.

But anyways, as 'The Bug' lands and people disembark, one of the people mutters something under her breath as she wanders out. Something about how someone shouldn't of had a certain food?

Oh well. The joys of having an enhanced sense of smell. Laura knows this all too well. But now that she's outside, odds are she doesn't have to worry about that, and can start kicking alien ass?

The Iron Spider is silent for the whole trip if no one speaks to him. Once underway the portion of his mask portion of his costume is pulled up so that he can eat. Once the device is visable he cants his head ot hte side and stares a little. "It is most likely a ship, or a beacon of some kind." As soon as the Beetle lands he goes invisable again, whats the use of having an advantage like that if you don't use it right? Once the door is open he is one of the first people out of it and headed for the obvious opening to the structure at speed. If the obvious enterance is open he is going to try immediatly to slip inside, see if he can scout out the area a little before everyone else can get organized.

The first thing Janet does once they land is shrink down, hitting the four inch mark in no time at all. Her costume shrinks with her and her wings manifest, the Wasp ready for combat. "Let's go!" She flies ahead, ready to play scout if needed, her tiny size hopefully enough to keep her from being detected.

Well everyone is outside of the bug and making their way towards the device. Patrick he's lucky enough that the aliens don't detect him. The ones at the entrance to the place, well they are in rather large bulk armor. Like Iron Man esque, just not as cool looking.

The armor spells trouble for Janet though, as their scanners are able to detect her small size, and they open fire on her. The guns are standard alien laser pistols, cause we all know that's what aliens use.

But of course the commotion brings out the rest of the alien security guards that were stationed there, and they get ready for the heroes, including firing at the ones that are approaching. "People of Earth, you will stand down, you are not allowed to be here." That is said through one of the useful universal translator devices that the Cluster agents have, yours for 3 easy payments of 19.95 credits. 1 credit=1000 US Dollars.

Ted is with the other heroes, and gets fired on, and tries to dive for cover but in the desert there isn't much cover, "Not in the head, not in the head!" Mental note, make the cowl bullet proof. But from the small cover he finds, he uses his own gun on the aliens, sending a blinding flash of light at them, which hopefully distracts them for the others.

AND NOW ON THE SHIP

"Sir it appears that the Earthmen have attacked our device on Earth. Also we were able to recycle Grg-Mrtn to two new robot assistants. This is J-Lo and Km-Krdshn."

Manga Khan looks at the new robots and pulls L-Ron away from them, "L-Ron what are the chances of the Earthlings disrupting our plans. WHY ARE THE NEW ASSISTANTS REARS PIECES ENLARGED?"

"We predict the Earthlings will have a .005 percent chance of disrupting our plans now. We don't know what happened in manufacturing, but we are looking into it. I find the large rear pieces rather appealing though, don't you sir?"

The Spider slips into his camouflage too as the guns start shooting, jumping away from his position and then running. Leaping forward to jump over one of the front aliens, he becomes visible again as he tries to grab at the aliens' shoulders and flip while he falls to throw him towards another alien. "We're a bunch of bugs, mostly. The more you try to keep bugs out, the more come in."

Stand down? Seriously? As those uncool armor open fire on the 'heroes' one of them makes a certain sound. A sound that does not come from their throats.


 * SNIKT!*

Yeap. The claws are out. And since the aliens are the ones that opened fire, Laura does not feel bad as she charges full speed ahead. Towards them. It's almost as if she doesn't care if they shoot her. heck, knowing X-23 she probably /doesn't/ care if she gets shot. Just as long as, provided she gets close enough, she can introduce those armors to her claws.

Iron Spider gets in easy, if he can slip past the security at the UN he figures he can get into most places in his armor. Of course the full alert status inside the structure makes things a little more difficult, especially when the aliens in robotic armor start firing on the rest of the heroes. So much for doing much scouting. He picks the armored being at the farthest back of the aliens that looks most important and sneaks up behind him and pops out a pair of waldoes to try and interface with his armor and possibly try and hack it before anyone notices. If on the small chance he actually can get into the armor's systems before anyone realizes whats going on and take over he will just program it to fire on the other aliens and bound away still invisible. If not, he will just pick up the armor and go bowling for bad guys.

Janet deftly dodges as she flies closer although there are a few close calls, one of which results in a singed wing and a grumpy Wasp. "Watch it," she calls out while holding her hands out now, palms facing the enemy forces. A torent of Wasp Stings fly from her palms, hopefully strong enough to knock them on their backsides so the bigger of her allies can take them out.

The aliens are distracted thanks to the blinding light that Beetle shot at them. So it leaves them open for Snikting, Wasp Stings, and throwing of each other at other aliens in armor. So 4 of them are taken down in the initial assault, which only leaves 16 to go! And they are still firing on the heroes, "You know the Cluster should have added better weapons to these suits, these lasers can't hit anything." One of them says. Another replies, "I know, but in the last union negotiation it was either better weaponry or hazard pay for times like this. We took the hazard pay."

Patrick will found that the computers are of course in an alien language and just tough to hack for Earth based technology. But doing so has alerted so guards to his approximate location.

As for Beetle, well he sees that his blinding flash worked, so he switches to his compressed air blast. And of course that does nothing to the aliens, it doesn't have the strength to lift them up sadly. So back to blinding flashes, trying to help the other heroes.

Cluster Ship

"Sir we have new news. With the heroes attacking the ship we have to switch to paying the guards the Hazard Pay now."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not the Hazard pay, what will that do to our profit margins, L-Ron?"

"Right now we are still in the black sir, but the longer this goes on the worse it will be."

"I see L-Ron, and keep me notified about this. Why couldn't we have convinced them to go with the better weaponry, it would have been easier to predict."

"Yes it would have been sir. But ever since the union acquired some guy from Earth named Jimmy Hoffa, they have been tough during negotiations."

Earth once again

The Spider keeps leaping, dodging any shot that comes his way with the ease that only comes from precognition and super-reflexes, and striking back with punches and kicks. There doesn't seem to be any skill to what he's doing, however, all instinct. "Yep, hazard pay, good idea," he comments as he touches one of the aliens on the shoulder. In a few seconds, that alien's armour will get one heck of an internal jolt of electricity. "Hope they cover repairs too."

If Laura hears the exchange about Hazard Pay, she doesn't say anything about it. Or does she...?

"Still want Hazard pay?" is said as she tries to slash another armor, "Tell you and your friends to fall and play dead. We'll make it look good."

Yeah. Call that a warning from the female clone. odds are after this she won't be holding back anymore.

The Iron Spider did not expect that hacking an alien system would be as easy as Stark Tech, but there was always hope. Since he has given away his positoin its time for Bowling for Bad guys! He quickly lifts the one he had from behind by the shoulders and tosses him into the largest cluster of soldiers he can find.


 * Thwip* *Thwip* *Thwip* *Thwipity* *Thwip* The group of aliens knocked over by Pat's move get a quick taste of Spider Webbing with hopes that it will be enough to keep them down for a little while at least. "Hazard pay? Don't think I have ever heard of it." He says as he takes a run at the next group of aliens intent on doing a sudden jump flip over one to kick him in the back of the head, punch for another, and use all four of his Spider Leg Waldoes to do leg sweeps and the like on anyone near him.

"Actually they do cover repairs. They also cover all medical costs if we are injured in the line of duty. You know I'm sure the Cluster would love agents like you, you should apply. As an added bonus our Union Rep is from Earth!" Okay they don't know when someone is being smart with them. But hey they hear what Laura says, and they actually decide to pretend to be hurt. They still get paid, and they don't actually get hurt, see how that works. So now the heroes have found they have a much easier time accessing whatever is in that ship.

Cluster Ship

"Lord Manga Khan we have terrible news. This operation has entered THE RED!"

"That is not allowed L-Ron, we must pack up everything immediately, and go for another planet."

"Yes sir, I shall tell the Earth operation to cease their activities." And with that L-Ron goes off, to do his duties. Heheh, duty.

Earth

And on Earth when L-Ron presses a button on the ship in space, alarms start to sound on the nice alien structure that is going on. What those alarms mean, well only the aliens now.

The Spider, though it's hidden under his mask, rolls his eyes at the rather dense aliens. But then... they all start acting hurt. He pauses, looking around, then shrugs and starts towards the device, only to pause again as the alarms start blaring.

And as the armored aliens fall, or at least fall more easily, and then that alarm goes off, well...

What can Laura do?

That is besides smile. After all, that /does/ make things so much easier. Especially as she shifts to trying to run as fast as she can towards that device, before she tries to hack and slash away at it with her adamantium claws.

Iron Spider is just confused now. The bad guys pretending to get hurt so that they don't get hurt and making the fight a lot easier just does not make sense to him. He does not slow down at all in the fight sliding between people and flipping over them in ways that are common for anyone that dons a Spider Themed costume but it still confuses him to no end. As the alarms go off Iron Spider blinks and then starts after the machine at full tilt. Whatever the reasonf or the alarms it can't be good and the only idea he has is to get inside and try and tear things apart.

There really isn't much she can do against the device herself but she can make sure those who are falling down stays down and Janet continues to fly over head. "That's right, just... play dead. Good... er, aliens. You all will get a Milkbone after this." Her Stings are still used to try and keep up an appearance.

Once the alarms sound, the aliens pretending to be hurt stop pretending. They all get up and run towards their building like thing. Which is making a lot more noise now, almost like the sound a rocket ship makes before it takes off, so running aliens rocket sound definitely isn't very good!

Ted actually hears that, and calls out the other heroes, "I'm I suggest you run away. I think that thing is really a rocket ship and is getting ready to take off." Maybe they will get out of there, hopefully, sadly he can't help them with that.

Cluster Ship

"Sir the ship is getting ready to take off. And all agents are aboard."

"Thank you L-Ron, it is a shame that this didn't work out for is. Do you still happen to have the enrollment list for the Manga Khan School of Melodrama?"

"I do sir, why do you ask?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE FORMED THE PERFECT PLAN FOR REVENGE AGAINST EARTH!!!!"

And back on Earth.

The Spider, in case Ted's suggestion isn't heard in the noise, yells, "Run!" No bothering with details, like Ted did, he just yells that to the others and then turns to start running away from the device/ship. He lacks webs to try to pull theothers away with him, so all he can do is run.

And as the ship preps to take off, heck, between the rocket noises and The Blue Beetle shouting for people to get back, Laura tries to do just that.

But well... Seriously?

Iron Spider stops the instant he hears Ble Beetle. Rocket ship, that means being real close is not a good idea for anyone in armor that can't protect them frm the blast...or anyone that does not know if the armor they are in can protect them or not and have no way of getting it fixed. As The Spider yells run, he does, and he books it at his full sprinting speed grabbing anyone that he passes that does not fight being grabbed, is not moving as fast, or looks like they are not running. Anyone not close enough to grab, he is gonna try a few thwips on and thank Tony Stark he has the increased strength from his suit going for him.

The Wasp isn't near it but she's more than happy to get even more distance between it and herself. The webbing from the Iron Spider almost hits her but she manages to get out of the way of the sticky substance just in time. "Watch it, spiderboy," she squeaks out before dashing on, her little wings carrying her as fast as she can go.

The ship takes off, the planet is saved, at least until Manga Khan comes back again with whatever revenge he has planned.

Beetle reaches The Bug and lets everyone else on board, once they are there he will fly everyone back to New York! But on the way back he reveals where he keeps the champagne, cause hey they deserve it now.

The Spider slows his run once he's sure he's far enough from the rocket, looking back to watch it take off. "Wow... weirdest aliens ever." He turns back and gets on the jet, then.

No champagne for Laura. She's under age! not that alcohol would have any effect on her anyways with her healing factor.

But she does accept the ride back at least.

Only she'll stick to the shadows again once they land.

Thank the tech gods for built in surround sound, Iron Spider can make himself heard without having to actaully yell. He replies to Wasp with a simple, "Sorry Ma'am, just trying to collet everyone not moving fast enough." He does not even sound out of breath. Really, how fair is it that he can run close to 30 miles per hour and not be at all winded yet?

Once the alien ships is gone, and everyone really is sure that the threat is gone Iron Spider just shakes his head. "Most pathetic alien invasion ever." Once on the ship he will wave off any offers of alcohol, it does horrible things to the body and it's never a good idea to drink and swing. Not that it would get him drunk, or even close to feeling buzzed that is.

Janet returns to her normal size once they're all inside, her costume growing with her and her wings disappearing. "That was about twenty different kinds of what the hell," she announces before throwing herself back into a seat. Looking tired and confused, it goes without saying that she needs crib notes and a nap.