2012-08-29 Shocks and Arrows

There's always one. Or, if you're unlucky, two. Those guys.

Every evil mastermind knows the type. It's almost always someone's cousin. You know, the guy they call when Big Tim the Bowler comes down with a case of Thumb Rot and someone calls their cousin Fredo to fill in... and this time he's got a twin brother, Gino.

They talk too loud on the bus. They flash their brass knuckles around under the street lamps. They pretend to cut out each others' earrings with the set of fence cutters they're swinging around. They're the worst. In the dark, at the end of a bus route in the industrial zone, they're chugging down the last of the twelve beers they brought along when their ride--the world's least stealthy black van--pulls up. Those guys.

The van is headed out into the industrial zone in the greyness that passes for night around here. It pulls up near two other vehicles, a boat of a car and an old SUV, at the back side of a sprawling complex. Way on the other side, there's a sign lit up by sizzling old lights: Hazardous Waste and Electronics Recycling: E-Go-Green.

How the heck did Static know something was going down? Probably because he rides the bus to school. Or something of that same nature. Either way, the resident Hood Hero is making his way from above, sky surfing silently as he keeps a closely distant eye on what's going on below. He's been following the black van for a while, always just waiting to see what goes on at the end of these little tailing missions. The moment the van meets up with some other vehicles, he's taking a second to plant himself in another high vantage spot and watch. Good thing there are rooftops to hide on around here. While he may not be the best at stealth, he certainly knows that most people of villainous intent don't look up until it's too late. So he should be good right here.

Arrowette has been out on patrol tonight. Her normal path has been deviated from miles ago, bringing her here after about an hour of darting around shadows and down alleyways and everything else she does to keep from being noticed. She is glad she kept to that part of her 'hero training' as she comes up closer to where the cars are, the sight of which causes her to come up short of the end of a building. "Hmmm." Frowning, she just watches for now, curious enough to keep watching while wary enough to try and keep herself out of the line of sight of the others. Static, for now, isn't noticed.

The guys are all in black and they seem to have a plan. Or, at least, a map. The glow of the flashlight flipped on to read the map lights up a face otherwise hidden in the shadows of a hood. He's mean looking kid, not quite a man, with the obnoxious hairstyle of someone who watches way too much anime. Fredo and Gino are clipping the fence when there's the sudden ruff, rush, and rumble of three huge junkyard dogs bearing down on the guys. Fredo and Gino bail but a short, stocky person steps into the gap and raises their hands. The dogs lurch and stumble, yelping in fear, then collapse onto their sides. The guy with the map signals for everyone to get moving.

Now see, there's a problem with this. Static could actually try to wait and see what these dudes are after... or he could surf into action and put a stop to this madness right now. Apparently, from the way he's leaping off the roof an back onto his Static Saucer and starts speeding towards the Bad Guy Collective... he's chosen the latter.

"Alright, guys. Enough is enough! Do I have to get PETA on the line?"

Static announces his presence as he soars down from the rooftop, picking up some speed as he comes speeding towards the map using bad dudes. He couldn't just stand idly by and let them hurt those dogs like that. It just wouldn't be right. Well, not to mention that he's also been itching to get into some action tonight.

The yelp is what gets Arrowette's attention, the fate of the dogs unknown to her but it's what prompts the archer to get moving. She stops however when she sees Static, the sight of whom gets her to think twice about getting involved at first. She isn't sure if he's a good guy or one of the people who have the map, after all. Heroic inclinations and curiosity eventually win over prudence and she dashes forward, bow in hand and an arrow being slipped from her quiver.

"Don't know what you guys are doing," she calls out while preparing herself, "but I think you better stop." Because not listening to a girl who looks like Archery-Hero Barbie is such a bad idea!

The baddies, for all their bumbling on the way out here, slip into action real fast. The guy with the map drops it and points at Arrowette. Ooh. POINTING. ...only with a fireball that leaps out of his hand and melts a hole in the fence as it roars straight at her. The stocky person--hard to tell the gender--turns and raises both palms toward Static. There's no burst of light, nothing fancy, but the wave of nausea and dizziness is like every case of stomach flu, every roller coaster ride, every bout of car sickness ever all at once.

Static is perhaps too busy posturing and posing heroically on his entrance into the action to realize that nothing is headed in his direction. He doesn't see thing. He doesn't smell anything. He doesn't... oh wait. Yeah, there it goes. He totally feels whatever just got non-tossed his way and within a half-moment, he's taken off his Saucer and comes crashing to the ground with a somewhat heroic thud. The Static Saucer, without the hero's energy flowing to it, just drops also.

As for Static, he's busy trying not to throw up right now as he crawls across the ground and away from where the bad guys are currently. Yeah, totally going to need a second to regroup. Or a place to hide. Ugh.

'Oh. Fire. Not good.' Which is grossly understated but Arrowette doesn't really have time to mentally wax poetically at any great length. Turning to her left, she dodges, somehow managing to keep her bow in her grip but some of her arrows go flying out of the quiver in mid-roll. Despite her attempt to get out of the way she can feel the searing heat as the fireball flies over her legs, the skin upon her calves stinging as if she got sunburned.

Gritting her teeth, she looks at the fire-tosser, her expression less than pleased. "I can not believe you did that, you scrub," she calls out while fumbling for an arrow, picking one at random. It gets notched and fired at the guy, hoping that it'll distract him. Imagine her dismay when she realizes she had grabbed a thread-and-needle arrow which does nothing more than put a few stitches in one of his sleeves.

"Aw, dammit!"

"Get what we came for, guys," Mr. Flamey shouts. "Puke, hit that weak flyboy again." He's pushed back the hood and that is some -bright- hair. He snickers as Arrowette's shot snicks through his jacket and... mends it. "You got a sandwich arrow, babe?" He throws fire at her again, this time a line of it that races along the ground to circle her. "If not, get back in the kitchen!"

Puke--who names themselves that?--tries again but this time, only the edge of the wave catches Static as he's faded mercifully into the shadows for the moment. The other baddies are scattering into the facility to do whatever it was they came to do. There's enough firepower here that it's probably Not Good.

Night time is the best time, really, for certainly heroes of the same ilk as Static. He barely manages to get himself away from what is probably the worst feeling he's had since the last time Sharon tried to make dinner. It was not a pretty sight. And with a moment to regroup, the wisecracking warrior has realized that there's going to need to be something done about all this.

"This is the worst amusement park ever. All of the nausea, none of the rides." Static pops up from behind a pile of something or other, aiming his hand for his Static Saucer, which gets lit up and yanked towards the leg area of Puke, quite intent on knocking him or her off their feet.

"Stop trippin'!" Oh the puns.

"Oh great. I bet you're one of those 'barefoot and pregnant' types, right?" Another arrow is picked up as she scrambles to her feet, Arrowette getting out of the way of the fire as it starts to wind itself around her. It's not high enough to keep her from jumping over it but she doesn't try to do so yet, the girl instead taking aim. "I'm not one of those feminist types but even then, I find that highly offensive."

As soon as she says that the arrow is loosed, sent flying towards the flamer, heading right for his face. It has a large capsule attached to the end, this one being a much more (hopefully) useful net arrow meant to snare the firestarter.

Puke... let's call him by his given name, Purdy... is nothing if not incredibly lumpy and slow. The Static Saucer smacks him in the back of the knees as he's trying to bobble away and he faceplants in the gravel with an audible grunt. "Son of a..." He pushes up just in time to catch the Saucer in the head, returning his face to the planted position with a thud.

"Shut it, Tinkerbell." The net arrow pops a moment later, even though the firestarter dodges, and he swears as it catches one of his arms and his head. The fire circling Arrowette flickers and fades to a thin line of blue, just dead grass burning around her feet.

Static's hand is up and has the Static Saucer sailing back towards him, which he hops onto with ease and goes back into the air, where he belongs. Hovering there, he casts a hand towards the fence, peeling a section between two of the metal poles there up and off there. "Just think. You would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for us meddling kids."

Static's hands have that two-poled section of fence coming down to slam and pin Puke to the ground, the fence filled with some extra magnetism to help keep the bad guy down, while those poles slam deeper into the ground than normal. Y'know, just to be on the safe side.

And then Static is soaring up and off towards the showdown between the Skirt and the Fire. "Need a hand? Or should I get out my phone for some prime YouTube Material?" These words are tossed at Arrowette, of course.

While her target struggles with the net one more arrow is shot off, this one being a punching bag arrow with a padded cylinder-like 'bag' that is heavily weighted. If it hits him right he'll be seeing birds and stars in front of his eyes.

"I don't like being called names," Arrowette announces, not exactly being gentle in her tone. The dwindling fire is stepped over and then she looks up, smiling as she watches Static fly about. "Oh, I could probably use a little help. Want to tie the mook up or...?" YouTube? Oh no. Let's not go there, please? Her mom and her agent would be so pissed if they were to discover her on there!

There's the distinctive--if you've grown up in the wrong place--sound of a shotgun being racked over by the SUV and a heartbeat later both barrels are unloaded at once. Another rack and a second blast. All this heroing is well and fine, but it's not just muties around here. First shot goes for Static, second for Arrowette. Whoever's driving has decided to intervene once Mr. Flamey went down with an arrow between the eyes.

"I was gonna' suggest we hang him upside down from a street light but maybe your way'll work too."

Static hears the shot go off. And then another. And he's already dropping into action. Dropping low enough to narrow his eyes and extend his hands, creating a somewhat massive magnetic force bubble to repel the metal bullets headed in the direction of both himself and the Arrowette.

"Please tell me you've got an arrow for every occasion. Like destroying SUVs." is muttered through slightly gritting teeth. It's a little tiresome holding one of these larger fields. But there's no chance of bullets getting through here so that's definitely a plus.

Meet Ginger and Holly. They got told to sit in the SUV because they're -girls-... as of now, they're done with that ish. Arrowette gets Holly in the hand and she drops the shotgun down by her feet as she pulls back with a shriek.

"You damn--" Whatever compliment she was about to deliver is lost as Ginger guns the engine and drives straight through the gap in the fencing.

"Puke, I'm comin' baby!" Forget Mr. Flamey. Puke has a way with the ladies and they're on their way to a rescue.

That's okay because Mr. Flamey is coming to right as Ginger starts driving and he blurts out, "You damn--" Whatever he was going to say is also lost in the engine noise. Thank goodness because misogynist slurs are so last season.

"Why don't bad guys realize we're not in the business of letting them escape?"

Static's quips are to Arrowette, even though he's still reeling from the awesome shot she just made. He would spend more time on offering complimentary commentary but he's more interested in making sure that the SUV doesn't get too far. Because he's clapping his hands to send an EMP blast right for the speeding vehicle. That oughta' put a wrench in their escape plans.

Static pauses and looks over at Arrowette. "... Did she just call that dude, Puke?" Making of the Gross Face.

The girl's fellow teen hero is not the only one to make with the gross face. Because... you know. That name is gross. Hella gross. "Yeah. And who the hell names their kid that?" Arrowette tries to get close enough to read the license plate but she eventually stops, not exactly able to run that fast.

Turning in time to see Static clapping his hands, she can not help but to raise a brow. "Are you applauding them," she asks incredulously. "Because I don't think they were good enough to merit that." Someone will need to have it explained to her.

The girls are so not letting their man down. It is totes Mr. Flamey's fault for leaving them in the truck. The engine dies but the truck coasts just far enough to knock over that fence around Purdy. (Please, Ginger, his name is -Purdy-. Don't encourage him.)

The girls know when they're nicked. They pile out the driver's side door and scoop up poor Purdy, one to each arm. Holly's got the sense to have the shotgun in hand. They're going to scarper. Weirdly... no one else doing the job has come back out this way.

Fortunately, Static and Arrowette still have Mr. Flamey. (He prefers Hotstreak, his mother prefers Francis. Unlike Purdy, it's hard to begrudge him the nickname.) Hotstreak swears a blue streak and slams a cone of fire at both Static and Arrowette. "No more playing nice, ladies!"

"Not applause! It's an Electromagnetic Pulse. It pretty much makes anything electrical... a huge paper weight." is explained very quickly to Arrowette, just as his eyes pick up on the Hotstreak and his anger levels. Which has Static flinging out some static-ish electricity to yank Arrowette out of the way, while he zooms in and raises his Static Saucer up in some weird semblance of a shield. Whatever blocks the fire and stops the hottie arrow-flinger from getting burnt to a crisp.

"Oh Francis..." Static's cling is released from the Arrowette the moment Hotstreak's flames touch the bottom of his Saucer. "You just have to do everything the hard way, don't you?" He's hoping that by being the target, Arrowette will have a clean shot to put this loser down. Or at least extinguish him. She's got an extinguisher arrow, right?!

A shocked squeak is given as Arrowette finds herself moved, it resulting in her staring at Static blankly for a few seconds. "How about giving a girl some warning," she chides while looking over his shield at the one causing all the issues for him. Some people just do not know when they've been beaten and it is past the point where they need to be reminded of the fact that if they've been beaten they just need to give the eff up.

"I am going to use another punching bag arrow," she whispers when she's able to find the right arrow, it having been kicked around some which made it necessary to seek it out. "Ready?" She counts to three and then it's a case of lather, rinse, repeat. Another shot aimed for the foe's face.

"You little--" Hotstreak settles for punching Static hard with another ball of flame, the roar of which drowns out his monologue. He falls for the trick, though, so focused on Static that the heavy arrow catches him between the eyes again and he goes over with an undignified little whine... the way a balloon sounds when the air is let out.

The fire is out. Hotstreak is sprawled on his back with a broken nose and, once he comes to, battered dignity. Two stolen vehicles lurk by the side of the road. And, in the distance, a faint siren rises and falls.

"Two for one special! Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" Static winds up and hurls a ball of static energy at Hotstreak to make sure he stays nice and pinned to the ground. At least long enough for those sirens to get near and then he's turning his attention to Arrowette and dropping down to the ground level with the Static Saucer aglow. He offers an overdramatic bow and extends a hand, "O' Fairest Archeress. Might I giveth thee a ride to anywhere but here?" Hey, there's room on the Static Saucer for two. Kind of. Maybe. A little bit. Anything's better than sticking around for the cops to show, right?

Arrowette fistpumps and even gives an excited 'Yes!' when she sees the poor guy fall, that definitely a ten-pointer in her book. Whatever further celebrating she might have done doesn't happen however as she's distracted by the siren as well sa Static's offer to get her out of there. His hand is taken and he is taken up on his kindness, Cissie hugging herself to him after she steps onto the saucer. "Thanks. Just take me a few blocks from here. I can make it back home from there."

(PS: The dogs were just passed out. It's all good.)