2014.01.11 - Three's Company, Fourths a Lunatic.

It's a busy day in Metroplis, New York and the streets are alive with activity. The skies are slightly overcast, but there's not a hint of rain yet. This particular part of town is, in fact, so alive with activity that even the sidewalks are experiencing occasional traffic jams. But it... it may not be alive for long. From out of a dark alleyway scrambles a bearded, elderly, man in filthy clothes. His screaming jars the nearest bystanders, forcing them to make way to avoid him. At the last possible moment, just before reaching the relatively safety of the open street, the older man collapses to the ground; his foot is snared in some manner of black, oily, fiber. From out of the alley, the shadows almost seem to emerge unnaturally... moving out onto the daylit pavement until it is clear that this is most definitely NOT a shadow.

Hissing, waving massive tendrils of oily black substance, emerges what can only be described as a humanoid monster. And upon seeing the thing, people begin to flee in panic.

"YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTSSSSS AT ESCAPE HAVE AMUSSSSED USSS, BUT IT'S DINNER TIME NOW!!"

These after-New Year sales were pretty much a boon in terms of both saving money -and- blowing up the credit cards possessed in Roy Harper's wallet. Dressed for the weather, taking advantage of the sales was ideal; and so it takes a few seconds to register that the screaming and fleeing was not, in fact, some sort of flash-sale. Running through the crowd trying to find what the source of chaos was, Roy was forced to run through the various spiel for making his way through the crowd: "Excuse me," "Pardon me," "Get outta my way," and "F*(T*@(*#258 idiots!". Any further cursing, however, slows down as Roy comes face to face with tentacle monsters. "... Great, is there a Japanese anime convention in town and nobody told me?"

Busy day. When not preparing to, training for or actively trying to kill someone or cause some sort of chaos (touched by the Wild ways!), Lunair seems to do her best to pull together a normal(ish) life. She has a shopping bag in one hand, and yawns a little as she walks along. She has a scarf over her mouth and a warm hat pulled over her head. She seems to favor a rather frilly winter coat. Because her player is terrible at clothing terms. Normalcy is soon shattered, though.

She blinks as the man screams and bolts from the alley. He gets tripped harder than a bunch of college students in a weed field and she jerks back. Then suddenly, TENTACLES! "Erm." Okay, that's bad. She probably should totally do something. Duck behind a car! Pop out with - wiiiiiiith ... - okay, she does stifle a laugh at the man and his hentai joke. But then, BUSINESS. Light saber business is what. That man is not a schoolgirl and no one really deserves to be eaten or tentacled. "Um. In the face? Whatever, I'm banned from battle cries."

New York alleyways. If it's not a gang of lowlifes, it's an inhuman monster formed of inky darkness trying to swallow you whole. Unfortunately for this particular inhuman monster, Red Hood just so happens to be passing through. For a moment, he watches from his perch on the rooftop, red mask shielding his face from any sort of scrutiny as he stands, pulls a hefty revolver from one of many holsters hidden beneath his leather jacket and fires off a pair of .50's towards some part of the darkness that is more monster than homeless man. "I admit, you're not the kind of crazy I'm used to, but I promise not to let that get in the way of me putting you down."

With that in mind, he fires off another round just to nail home the point.

By the time the interlopers have all arrived, several more inky black tendrils have lashed out and grabbed the homeless gentleman. And it looks almost as if they were slowly consuming him... "BONESSSS AND ORGANSSS SSSQUISHY, YUM, MAKESSS OUR TUM..." the alien begins to sing-song, oblivious to interruptions until...

...the sound of high-tech saber cutting through the air and invading its personal space, followed by the sound of munitions being fired, forces it turn loose and leap backwards to safety. Not without leaving some severed appendages behind though! "KAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! YOU WISH TO STEAL OUR FOOD, DON'T YOU?! GREEDY! EVIL! WE WILL KILL YOU FOR IT!" "NO! WE MUST TORTURE THEM FIRSSSSSSSSST!!!" "WE MUST TORTURE THEM AND KILL THEM!" The alien monstrosity lands upon a nearby alley wall, adhering there in defiance of gravity, and begins to... argue with itself while its living mass writhes angrily around it. Then, as if seeming to come to a consus with itself.. it leaps from its wall perch... directly at Lunair with a maw full of razor sharp teeth agape.

Great. It -had- to be a maneater. Even if it was shaped like...

"Gawd, what the hell, Harper... focus!"

And the bags are tossed into the alley, the folded up crossbow equipped in a hurry, and Roy comes firing bolts towards the writhing mass of tentacles, shouting. "HEY, PU-PU PLATTER! OVER HERE!"

"Sorry!" Maybe Tentabuddy wasn't meant to be today. "And um, no, no I don't eat -" Oh, but Lunair IS made of meat. "Hey, I think I saw a Japanese film like this on--" It did not end well. "Gah!" wait. Is that Red Helmet guy?! Lunair manages a wave, but is expending her energy running like a schoolgirl from a calamari bar. Boltin' like a deer and scrambling as best as she can, light saber in tow. "Although that song was kinda cute! If really murderous and terrifying." She's - polite. Insane. But polite. And totally trying not to get eaten. Wait. Didn't - sarlacc pit -

Red Hood curses under his breath, holsters his revolver, and leaps from the rooftop, aiming a flying tackle to try and intercept the Alley Monster before it can eat Lunair next. Of course, Roy chooses now to shoot crossbow bolts at the very place Hood's throwing himself towards, making the whole idea very sketchy indeed. Too late now, though. "If you hit me," he manages to get off in the period of time he's still in the air, "I will shove your quiver /so/ far up your ass..."


 * BANG* CRASH*

The sound of the alien creature's mass striking a nearby vehicle as it misses Lunair resounds. The shrieking of shattered glass and the wailing of a car alarm souunds follows as it angrily shatters a windshield with one of its tendrils and grabs the steering wheel. "KILLL IT! KILL THEM A-..." The creature screams, seemingly to itself, before ripping the steering wheel out and...

...receiving several very distracting arrows in its backside. ""AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHGG!!!" Suddenly the steering wheel is smashed against the car hood in anger, and the alien begins to turn away from Lunair just in time to miss Red Hood leaping at it. And its for this reason it goes flying off the veicle instead, getting smashed against the pavement even as the homeless man from earlier begins to flee nearby.

"FINE! WE WILL EAT YOU!" The creature shouts, before attempting to shove Red Hood violently away and flip to its feet. "YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THE PAIN YOU'VE CAUSED US!" And with that said, the creature promptly lashes out and grabs the nearest fire hydrant and hurls it toward Red Hood before retreating again to a nearby wall perch. Several of its tendrils begin to morph, taking on a bladed appearance and making cutting motions at the air, "WE WILL ENJOY SEVERING YOUR LIMBS, ONE BY ONE..."

Well, the backside -was- the easiest target from where he was, as a means of distraction. He had the funniest notion, though, that the lady (?) in there might not have been terribly pleased at the notion.

On the other hand, the man with the Red Hood yelling at him... "Excuuuuse me! I'm still getting used to the notion of a refuge from Japanese tentacle movies running around!" Roy shouts, as he pulls back, reaching for some of the other bolts for his crossbow. "Plus, don't we have to get the crazy drooling monster taken care of -before- we start yelling at each other?" Still, Roy does at the least shift paths so that whoever the lightsword person was, she'd be the third point of a triangle through which they could try and corner this... thing.

"Sorry pal, I'm not up for limb severing. I mean, if you wanted an arm or a leg, you could try being a loan shark instead..."

"Hi Red Helmet guy! And the guy with the arrows and that really vengeancy lady we were teaching to shoot who really liked to monologue!" Lunair has a very, very good memory! She does! She spots what Roy is trying to set up and keeps her point of the triangle. She sees two dudes with ranged weapons and while she is not fond of melee (oh no no, organs are squishy and tasty), she will wade in this time. Although, where the hell did she get a blue light saber?

Either way, Lunair's doing her best to avoid the bladed tendrils, getting a fair cut on one arm. Owch. She retaliates with a light saber swat.

"I'm perfectly capab-" Red Hood's cut off mid-come back by Agony as she sends him flying back a couple of feet. His momentum halts as he slams into a nearby building, only just managing to stay on his feet thanks to the absurd level of body armor, but it forces him to stop for a moment to recover, his hand resting on a sawn-off strapped to his thigh. "... Capable of multi-tasking," he finishes towards Roy, eyeing up the situation for something to help end the fight quickly. What he sees instead, is an incoming fire hydrant. Screwing triangular coverage, Jason leaps, tucks, and rolls to safety only a moment before the hydrant smashes on the wall where he used to be leaning. He comes up behind a car, shotgun in hand, and fires off a heavy magnum round before calling over to Lunair and Roy, "This thing wants to eat something, I say we give it something to eat." He can't really stealthly communicate a plan by shouting, but he /can/ yell vague orders and hope the other two react as he thinks they might. "Arrows, keep it from moving too much. Weapons, give me something that goes boom." He leaps out of cover, sending the last round loaded in the shotgun towards the black monster thing, hoping Lunair's got something good to throw him so he can drop it at the creatures 'feet' as he goes attempts to vault over it using the cars, a lifetime of training, and hopefully a ton of luck.

'"THE RED-HAIRED ONE TALKS TOO MUCH!" The "crazy, drooling, monster" shouts again, thrusting a mass of its tentacles into the pavement and ripping out a sizeable chunk. "WE HATE IT WHEN FOOD TALKS TOO MUCH!" It then hoists the concrete over its head, dropping small chunks of it in the process, in obvious preparation to swing it and bring it down on someone. Probably Roy.

But Roy's fate as a pavement stain is quickly averted by the charging Lunair and her heat emitting light saber.

"KAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! STAY AWAY!!!" The thing gurgles, then hisses, as its mass begins to writhe even more violently in response to the encrouching heat source. It backs away, using the concrete slab to attempt to block the saber attack. It's a horrible failure, with concrete being split in twain by the saber and cutting into the creature. The shriek that follows is shrill, and very pained, with the living black mass wriggling, separating, and coalescing again so excitedly that it reveals bare hints at something Roy might have already guessed: there is a woman under there!

Shots collide with the creature's mass, staggering it, and quickly being absorbed. The arrows sticking out of it too seem to be getting sucked into its mass oddly enough. Almost as if being consumed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!! KILL EVERYTHING! KILL IT NOW!! NOW!!!" TRhe creature punches through te window of a nearby vehicle and grips the roof... before swinging it angrily as if it were a baseball bat! "DIEEEEE!"

"Yeah well food doesn't -talk-!" Roy retorts, already trying something more useful than just plain arrows. This thing was a tough customer, if it could pull up concrete without barely straining. The roof...

"Ah HELL! Okay, LED-head, we're playing it your way!" Roy exclaims, already trying to fire arrows in a position to pin it down and keep it in the area. "But I want something that goes BOOM too! Hey Lunair! Give me -something-!"

Lunair stifles a giggle. At least, until she almost gets smashed by the concrete slab. She's a strong and in shape, trained person. But she's still very much normal human. And human vs concrete slab is one of those really lopsided fight match ups, kind like Snoop Dogg vs Toddler and Grandma vs Bear. The concrete is split in two, but there's liable to still be scrapes. In lieu of attacking then, she holds her position and tosses a grenade launcher to Jason - there's a few kind in it, it seems, handily loaded and waiting adoringly for exploding. Thinking a second, she tosses a similar one to Roy to avoid any quibbles over who got a cooler weapon. But this also means her and her light saber are out for the round. "Okie dokey, catch!"

Jason snatches the launcher from midair and immediately turns it on Agony before leaping as fast as humanly possible away from the car she starts swinging. "That doesn't even make any sense," he calls back to Roy, as he narrowly dodges getting his head knocked from his shoulders, "The helmet doesn't even light up." He tumbles out of the way of another hit, but some stray pavement catches him in the back and knocks him flat on his face, driving the air from his lungs in an instant. Without even thinking, he rolls beneath a car to gain his breath back while simultaneously firing a few more grenades out from under his cover and towards the creature. "I can't believe I left Gotham for this shit," he mutters breathlessly, before rolling out from underneath the car and sprinting for the cover of an alley.

"FOOD SHOULDN'T TALK! WE AGREE!" The alien-human hybrid seethes in retort, "SO WHY DON'T YOU STOP!" for mere moments after Lunair's saber found purchase, the voice of the creature takes on a dualistic quality: lighter feminine tones and deep, growling, monsterous ones. It is as if two beings were speaking the exact same lines in synchronicity. Rain's absence from the fight is a welcome one for the alien menace, as it visibly attempts to put distance between itself and her the moment it gets the chance to. That saber still has it reeling, and its visible in how "excited" its inky black mass still is.

It leaps backward onto a nearby wall, kicks off again the instant its feet touch leaving several missed arrows and and an exploded grenade behind, executing a deft somersault through the air that ends with it perching on a steel street light. The alley wall that was struck by grenade promptly collapses, blocking off the entrance. "...IF YOU AREN'T HERE TO STEAL OUR FOOD, YOU MUST BE ATTACKING US BECAUSE YOU ARE JEALOUS OF OUR BEAUTY!", the alien practically spits through rows and rows of razor sharp fangs. It's tongue writhes out in a snake-like fashion on the tail end of this statement. "WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH IT! ONLY ONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS WE ARE COULD INSPIRE SUCH JEALOUSY!"

*KRAKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

...Another of Jason's grenades however finds purchase... blowing the alien creature from its perch and clear across the street into a shop window!

...and for now, it doesn't seem to be emerging... but the shop staff clearly are.

"Maybe you -should- consider having that helmet light up! You can go around scaring people as THE STOP LIGHT!" Roy shouts back, as he readies the grenade launcher. Only to be beat to it by Jason Todd.

Lowering his grenade launcher, Roy considers the store. "Beauty, eh? She's got a face only Cthulhu could love," he comments, as he hands the launcher back to Lunair. "Listen, give me a ghost pepper spray gun." Just in case the civilians coming out of the store weren't -actually- civvies...

After obtaining the gun, Roy calls out to Jason, "Hey Stop Light, watch my back..." he comments, as he starts approaching the store, taking careful heed of each staff coming out of the store. And the customer. They -had- seen a -lady- for a moment, and if there was one thing Roy Harper was capable of... it was not -missing- a face. Especially one belonging to a woman.

Ghost pepper spray gun? Okay! Lunair can do that. Although... she seems maused and surprised. "I dunno, Red Helmet Guy is pretty simple and effective." Someone REALLY, REALLY needs to correct poor Lunair. She accepts the grenade launcher, dismissing it. It vanishes, as if it weren't ever there at all. Must drive the cast of CSI /nuts/. She runs along after, towards the shop but out of the way of grenades. Juggling weapons kept her a little busy, though. And she does have a, y'know, melee weapon.

Red Hood rests the grenade launcher on his shoulder and moves over to one of the least destroyed cars in the area, pulling out the revolver again. "Har har. You know, you should take your act on the road, Arrows," he replies, setting the end of the launcher down on the smashed roof of the car so it's pointed just about level at the store window while the revolver is held steadily with one hand, also ready to open fire on the first tentacle monster to show its face. "The name's Red Hood," he finally, /finally/ corrects Lunair, glancing towards her as she runs after Roy towards the destroyed shop. "And just so you know, I'm saving Weapons before you, Arrows. She seems a lot more useful."

It takes practically until the trio has descended upon the store for any real activity to begin. Stirring from its (her?) unconsciousness beneath a pile of rubble and glass, a visibly human female half sheathed in writhing oily, black, mass emerges and pushes a large chunk of concrete from her form. Her amber eyes scan the area rapidly, teeth bared in a mixture of pain and anger, before she begins to move once more.

Every step she takes towards the store entrance is a shaky one, though it appears to become more steady as the black mass she was sheathed in begins to coalesce again. "We are ANGRY...!" She yells, in a lighter, more feminine, tone before beginning to bolt toward the broken glass window of the store. Leaping with inhuman strength, the human-alien hybrid launches itself at the first thing it sees: Roy. "WE'RE GOING TO TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT!" Claws, teeth, and tentacles here she comes...

"Whatever you say, Hoodie. But if something happens, at least make sure you get my name down right - the codename's Arsenal!" And then Roy enters the store, and notices with some relief that there's his target, creeping slowly towards him, raging, running, jumping...

"... great, is it that time of the month?" Roy retorts, as he lifts the ghost pepper spray gun up, and unleashes the capschin spray. "If you're so hungry, have an appetizer!"

Lunair catches up, with her light saber and all. She looks concerned at what she sees. A wince at the threat and then - well, at least she's not being attacked again. "Oh! Red Hood! Sorry..." Thankfully, someone did finally correct poor Lunair. "Nice to meet you!" She's at least, very well mannered when the murder isn't upon her. Though, she blinks owlishly. Saved first? Someone would - that idea seems a bit surprising. "Aw, thanks!" Hooray!

Either way, Lunair is following up behind Roy with that dread saber. She sort of - quirks. Her expression is uncertain. But at least she's a good back up.

"Duck," Red Hood calls out a little half-heartedly, but surely loud enough for Roy to hear as he launches several more grenades through the shattered glass, followed closely by a few round from the heavy revolver. He did ask for cover, after all. "Hey, while you're in there, can you grab me some gum, or something? And maybe a bag of chips or something? I'm feeling a bit peckish." Perhaps it's a good thing that his helmet comes with a full face mask, that way Roy won't be able to see the large grin on his face. He was never quite as good at hiding his humor as his former mentor.

Furious growling escapes the hybrid's throat as it sails through the air powered by inhuman fury at Roy. The jet of pepper spray leveled at its face does all of about nothing, but the grenade that so hopefully sails in at the most opportune time? Much more effective.

The creature is blown clear through yet another wall by the concussive force of the grenade, the alien sheath driven back from its host by the intense heat. The human host flies across the pavement outside the store, smashes into a lawn, and goes rolling to a stop at a post box. She's visibly burned, bleeding, and definitely not moving. At all. As to where the alien went, it isn't too clear. The thing seems to have practically evaporated...

"Ah hell, the spray's not doing..."

And then Roy can hear it, and even knowing Lunair and the Red Hood was right behind him, it was still a bit jarring. But Roy, being the epitome of any sort of accuracy... follows that command -properly-, and ducks. He can practically feel the slobber just before the grenade blows the symbiote-composite being into the wall.

Straightening up quickly, Roy glances back at Lunair, then at Jason. Aiming down at Jason's feet, Roy shoots the pepper gun. "Have some pepper," he comments, before turning back and moving quickly towards the symbiote, now fishing through his phone to call SHIELD about lock-up.

Duck? Duck! Lunair makes sure to stay the heck out of the way. She's spent enough time around Deadpool to appreciate explosives in all of their glory. Lunair tries not to giggle at Jason's request. Though, she peers around as Roy glances to her. He peppered Jason's feet. Lunair has a 'what' expression on her face, one eyebrow raised, the other lowered in a confused expression. An owlish blink. "I should probably get rid of the grenade launcher and stuff if the - authorities - are coming." She seems a little eager to duck out, herself. Mercenaries tend to be quasilegal at best. Fidget. "Good to see you!" Wavewave. She IS very polite, when her shattered mind allows it.

"Just what I was hoping for," Red Hood remarks at the pepper spray, before tossing his grenade launcher towards Lunair. "Good idea. Let the boy scout handle the police." Jason was trained to avoid the police, and there's also the matter of a few vigilante killings since his return that don't help relations with the cops. However, before he goes, he lobs a pair of disposable cell phones towards Roy and Lunair. "Keep those handy. I might call you if I need some easy weapons or an apple shot off some guy's head." With everything squared away, he turns towards the alley and slips into the darkness within, disappearing from sight.