2014.01.11 - OH MY GOD UNICORNS

Today, Somewhere in New York, there is a poor unfortunate gardener who is going to receive some very bad news. And what might you ask is that bad news? Well if you go down to the park today you're sure of a big surprise for sometime earlier Princess Powerful plummeted to Earth after an awesome adventure which went ever so slightly awry. And thus we find Molly Hayes, snoring in a most ladylike manner, asleep in the bottom of a crater that used to be a flower bed. Some thoughtful passing soul has draped a dirty blanket over her to fend off the winter chill.

"Yeah Max, I know," Amethyst replies glumly. "Even if something goes wrong, though, we have the Defenders. I'm sure it'll be fine."

She slumps in the saddle, all of her energy currently devoted toward moping. There's nothing left for posture. Fortunately, her winged unicorn is flying so high up that there's no one around to see her acting so unprincessly.

A little girl goes flying by. The princess chokes.

Max whinnies and pulls his legs up, veering sharply away from the meteoric child. He flares his wings afterward, gliding in a lazy circle. He knows his rider is going to take a moment to process this. Unicorns are very sensitive to the failings of humans.

"Wh--" Amethyst moves her mouth but the words don't come. She grips the reins, leaning over the side to try to find the kid again. Already gone. "Max, follow her!"

A little over thirty minutes later, Max lands on dainty hooves next to a girl-sized crater. The princess remains mounted for a moment, frowning so hard. It started off as a regular frown, but things are a little more complicated than that now.

Leaping off her steed, Amethyst stops at the edge of the crater and flicks a little shower of glitter over the sleeping child. It's magic, but that's sort of obvious. "Hey. Hey, wake up. I'm pretty sure this is illegal somehow and going to juvvie sucks."

Molly Hayes rolls over under the blanket. "Jus' five more minutes," she mumbles sleepily. "Then I'll get up for school." There is a slight pause, the sound of sniffing, then she jolts fully awake shaking loose a shower of dirt. "Gah! Where am I? And where did this stinky blanket come from? Who are you? Erm... And what else... Oh! What time is it?"

Wake up in a strange place. Woman wearing a tiara and sparkly armor standing over you. Also, starting your day in a hole in the ground is never a good sign.

Amethyst crosses her arms, the mist-silk ribbon attached to her armor swirling about thoughtfully. Slowly, anyway, which looks thoughtful.

"Wait," she says, seizing on something and gesturing into the crater. "You're that one girl who punched those robots that one time!" The princess stops, and then glances around. "Actually, you picked a really got spot to crash, all the walking paths are on the other side of those trees."

Tentatively Molly dusts herself off, then pats her head. Hat still present and correct, check. "Uhm. If I try and claim that was someone else it would be the worst fib /ever/ wouldn't it?" she answers sheepishly, looking down at the crator. "If I'm honest I didn't really pick somewhere to crash. I'd found this really neat jetpack and I was goofing around... long story short I turned it on and went flying. Then I lost my grip and the next thing I know I'm waking up here... And..." She points at Max and her mouth gapes. At a whisper she adds "Is.. is that a /flying unicorn/? Or did I bump my head waaaay harder than I thought?"

Amethyst listens to the story with a surprising lack of reaction. She nods, but that's about it. Look, kids make bad decisions in the name of fun all the time, super-powered kids just do weirder things, right?

Behind her, Max stands tall, back-lit by the sun. The wind kicks up, blowing out his majestic mane. Is it sparkling? Oh my god. It is.

"What, Max?" the princess says, glancing back. "Technically, all unicorns can fly. I mean, every one I've met can cast some magic and flying really gets useful in troll season. Max has wings, though."

Max nickers and shakes his head.

Amethyst rolls her eyes. "Yes. Max is also the prettiest unicorn." She purses her lips and glances Molly over. "Look, I'm glad you're okay, but I've got to get going on, um, princess business. Do you need a ride or anything?"

"All unicorns? Just how many have you seen?" Molly asks in awe. "I have a very very important question. Do unicorns molt? I /need/ to know. Matter of life and death." She coughs. "But uhm anyway... oh! You have princess business? Do you have a supervillian to battle? I could come help! Because if I'm honest I'm not sure where in New York I am right now. I could be five minutes walk away from my house and I wouldn't even know."

"Well, actually..." Amethyst gets a far-away look in her eyes.

Eclipso breaks free from the Heart of Darkness, swelling up into the room like an evil cloud. "HA HA HA HA."

Gilad Anni-Padda kicks down the door, revving a chainsaw and somehow already covered in blood. "ETERNAL WARRIOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR--"

"No," Amethyst says suddenly, snapping out of her reverie with a smile. "No, just... boring princess business. Nothing to be concerned with." She clucks her tongue and Max saunters over. Unicorns are maybe the best saunterers. "Here, use the stirrup and hop on. I'll help you."

She puts a hand on the side of Max's neck and waits. "They shed, but only in the light of a new moon after a meteor shower. I've got, like, a jar of the stuff in my spell components closet that I've never touched. It feels a little weird, you know?"

Molly Hayes doesn't squee. For that would be undignified... Oh who are we kidding. It's an offer to ride on an unicorn. She totally squees. "O. M. G. That would be like the bestest thing in the whole wide world," she proclaims, edging over to Max. Bouncing up and down with excitement. "We had this bet you see. About if a unicorn pooped icecream would it be gross to eat it and I said it would because they'd get butt hair in." Her foot goes into the stirrup. "Like this? Are you /sure/ you don't have a supervillain to battle? Things have been pretty quiet for me lately. I think I've only helped solve one crime since I teamed up with Santa to fight Loki."

Amethyst puts a hand over her mouth to help hide the giggle, but it doesn't work so well. She'd have been worse at Molly's age. Maybe.

She helps Molly up and over, fiddling with the buckles on the nearest stirrup to get it adjusted to the right height. "Like, evil god Loki?" the princess asks, moving to the other side to get at the second stirrup. "Huh. I'm friends with his apprentice. I should probably talk to her if Loki's throwing down with Santa. That dude probably has a good handle on who's good, right?"

And she thought she had a weird childhood. Seriously.

With a quick but complex gesture, Amethyst rises into the air, buoyed by a current of air and a whirl of purple-white fairy-lights. "Okay, hold onto the reins! He can understand you, so just talk to him--his name's Max."

"I'm not sure it was the real Santa," Molly admits distantly, still trying to process that she is /riding a flying unicorn/. "But he could fly and pick up cars. Oh! Where are my manners? I'm Princess Powerful, it's a pleasure to meet you both. I used to have a proper costume but they took it away when I got sent into foster care."

There is a sudden jolt as Max pushes off from the ground, his wings beating rapidly and rhythmically as he gains altitude.

"I dunno, I'd buy Santa picking up cars," Amethyst advises. She rises into the air, flying alongside the unicorn. She has to stay a little above and behind, to stay out of the way of his wings.

They're quickly in the clouds. For some reason, despite their speed, the air seems still. Unicorn magic. "Princess Powerful," Amethyst replies, enunciating the title. "I'm Princess Amethyst." She flies momentarily closer, reaching into a saddlebag and withdrawing a phone. "What's your address? I'll look it up."

The princess--the purple princess, anyway--taps away at the screen before her, but eventually looks up. "Do you get into fights often? Like, Loki and robots and stuff. Sorry. You just seem a little young for... superhero...-ing."

"This is amazing! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler than the jetpack. You don't get bugs hitting you," Molly states eagerly as she leans over to look around in an extremely unsafe manner. "I.. don't really have an address right now. I'm staying with a friend in her giant robot. It's pretty cool, there are rooms inside and everything. And for the record I'm fourteen and I've been a superhero for years! I even helped save the world once."

"Ha," Amethyst replies, smiling wistfully. She tucks her phone into her silken belt. "I guess I was doing dangerous things at fourteen, too."

Max is coasting now, letting altitude translate to distance. The taller buildings thin out, nearing a slightly quieter part of the city. "And living somewhere a little more cramped than, um, a giant robot. Look," the princess gestures forward, over the unicorn's sparkling mane. The city shimmers for a moment. When the haze clears, the neighborhood they're gliding toward is changed. A large, stately manor building has been added.

"I'm going to take you to my friend's house and you can call your friend, okay? Or, we'll figure something out. Is that cool with you?"

Molly Hayes scratches her head. "Weirdly I don't know if she can even drive," she admits. "Worst case I can always just walk to the subway and get a train to the secret hideout. It's not like I have to worry about anyone trying to mug me!" She ooooos at the house below. "Is that where your friend lives? In that mansion? Because if it is that is totes cool."

"Yeah, like, it is but also don't touch anything." Amethyst glances over, grimacing. "It's not like that. I'm saying that because, um... magic." She wiggles her fingers to illustrate.

Max touches down in the courtyard, which is somehow way larger than it looked like from the air. Amethyst lands on the steps before the huge double-doors and smooths her ribbons down. The people walking by on the street don't seem to notice her, Molly, or the winged unicorn.

"Alright, Princess Powerful. Welcome to the secret lair of the Defenders. Seriously, don't poke things. Especially anything with skulls on it. Or anything that is a skull."

Molly Hayes carefully gets off Max, then takes a moment to pet the unicorn. Unicorn permitting that is. "Thanks for the ride Mister Max," she says, before turning to check out the secret lair. "Who are the Defenders? And if you're superheroes why do you have so many skulls around? Don't the badguys usually have skulls in their bases?" She follows along behind Amaya, skipping excitedly. "The last time I met a wizard he said Hogwarts wasn't real, I'm guessing he was telling the truth?"

Amethyst grins lopsidedly, looking caught. "We defend things, mostly. I just really wanted to say 'secret lair of the Defenders.'" She opens the door, revealing a hallway that could mostly definitely be Hogwarts.

"I dunno. Maybe if you go to Otherworld and find the right reality." She frowns. "The Omniversal Majestrix is super lame, though."

Molly Hayes coughs. "I don't understand almost everything you just said..." she confesses. "Omni-whatever you just saids do sound boring though. And... thanks for taking the time to help me out. Lots of people in New York would have just left me in the flower bed."

Amethyst shrugs and shuts the door behind the two of them, leaving Max to graze.

"It's cool. I'm not from New York. I'm from Gemworld."