2013.10.26 - Hyenas Make Good Fertilizer

*SMASH!* The sound of glass breaking rings out throughout the underground terrarium, followed by some giggling. There were all kinds of exotic things here, lots and lots of plants, many found nowhere else on Earth because they were born and bred here. No animals, though, except maybe bees or something to pollinate all the flora. Certainly nothing that would EAT the plants. The precious, precious plants.

Looking further into the secret lair, there's quite the disturbance in the form of one Harley Quinn. The clownette seemed to cause destruction wherever she went, except in certain instances, such as when she's pal'ing around at one Pamela Isley's place. Because the botanical beauty had WAYS of making her displeasure known, and some of them were quite painful. Usually just a stern glare and a raised voice was enough to rein the blonde in, though.

Harleen was really grateful to her best girlfriend forever, after all. That was what brought her here. She'd checked out several places she'd known the redhead to haunt, looking for her ever since her and the Joker's latest spat, needing the comfort and relative security of a woman to mend her sadness and broken heart... and someone to latch onto for her crippling co-dependence and so she'd have someone to dote on.

But upon not finding Ivy /here/, either, and starting to suspect she'd been drug back to Arkham in secret or something, Harley had committed the sin she'd never have done if the botanist were: she'd harmed some plants. Specifically she'd cut up some grass to make herself a skirt and found something vaguely coconut-enough like to make a bikini top out of. Her hyenas had spent all day digging up plants and were now lying over there dirty, tired, with their tongues lolling out and panting as the Clown Princess sashays out in her authentic hula attire.

There's a radio playing as she one-woman congas out, her hands over her head, hair up in pigtails, facepaint gone for once, wooden sandals she'd wittled out of a branch on her feet, swinging her hips and twirling to the sweet Latin beats. ...And then she stops, dropping her arms with a despondent sigh. "S'just not tha same with no one here ta see it..." She mopes, even as she hits the 'stop' button the dated stereo.

As Harley hits the stop button, about a dozen long, thick, tough green vines streak out of the darkness of one of the exits, attempting to either grab the hyenas by the collars and various appendages and dangle them above the ground, or by their throats if they have no collars, heedless of what distress, discomfort, or pain might be inflicted as a result. Following after the vines is the sound of bare feet padding on the broken concrete floor of a passageway half-overrun with grass, creepers, and 'weeds'. A familiar red-haired woman in a white labcoat and not much else appears out of the unlit hall and emerges into her terrarium hideout. Her skin has mottled green mixed in with the caucasian tones, as though she were in the process of applying green body paint but was interrupted -- when infact it's the opposite. She was removing the flesh-tone bodypaint to reveal her true skin color underneath.

Pamela Isley and Harley Quinn are old friends, frequently partners in crime, and more ofthen than not partners in other capacities as well. But right now, as Poison Ivy looks upon the destruction wrought, and looks like she's basically prepared to choke the hyenas to death, the light that is streaming down on various flower beds, planters, and so on in differing intensities based on the needs of a given plant only serve to reveal how extremely displeased the villain is, not any happiness to see Harley.

"Harleen," she begins coldly, though with clear anger evident. "What do you think you are doing?" She lets go of the labcoat she was holding closed in front of her with one hand, and starts approaching Harley, green eyes flashing with rage as she sees that the blonde has also engaged in the same sort of destruction as her pets. First time she sees Harley in months and this is what she comes home to? It's unlikely she's going to make her friend suffer for her crimes in the same way she would basically anyone else on the planet, but there's still going to be punishment involved and she's definitely not happy.

"I should use your pets as fertilizer," she hisses as she continues approaching. Even when furious like this, there's something subdued about Ivy's behavior. A sort of alien remoteness that shows just how much closer to plant than animal she is these days. That kind of emotional detachment also means she's not very prone to forgiveness or mercy. What if one day she just coldly, calculatingly, decides that Harley is no different from any other human?

What if?

Well, that day is not today, but as she advances on Harley, she's still clearly rethinking allowing the other woman to know where to find her.

One of the hyenas is grabbed by the collar like a kitten getting yoinked up for misbehaving, letting out a startled yelp. The other has a vine wrapped around his midsection, and attempts to run as he's snatched up and suspended upside down, legs working in the air as if trying to run across the sky. It causes the hula-girl'd villainess to spin in place and upon spying the distress of her 'babies', to produce a lumber axe ready to chop those vines to pieces!

Don't ask where she was hiding that thing before just now.

"Oh no, automated alarms!" Because that makes total sense, as she raises up the axe, prepared to spill flora blood to save her precious mammals... until her ear picks up the pattering of feet upon the floor. Harley turns her head even as her axe is poised to strike vines, spotting Ivy as she comes into view. She freezes for a second, then hides the axe behind her back with a wiiiiiiide smile that's all apology and half fear-tinged.

"I was just... just..." Quinn is getting that nervous look, the same one she gets when the Joker gets upset at her. So she tries the same 'get out of trouble' tactic! She spreads her arms wide open, throwing the axe away as she does so, holding out her arms like she expects a hug. "I was just missin' ya!"

"Wait, not my babies! Red, ya know how much they mean ta me!" The blonde looks overwhelmingly dismayed, big blue eyes hurt and soulful, lower lip pulled out and slightly quivering. She wiggles her fingers as she holds her arms open still. "Ya were gone an' I couldn' /find/ ya an' I was all alone-like and jus' tryin' ta make myself feel better an' ya were /gone/! I-I'll make 'em sleep /outside/ tanight!"

Green eyes narrow, but the anger leaks out of her expression to be replaced with a passionless intensity. It's so hard to stay emotional now. So hard and so increasingly pointless. Hanging onto her humanity isn't getting her anywhere. Sometimes she wonders if maybe she shouldn't just stop trying. Take that final step. She turns to look at the frightened hyenas. With something more than instinct but less than thought, she commands the vines to drop the scavenging beasts. They are much maligned, often wrongly, in popular culture by those who don't know anything about them. Most people even think they're a form of dog or canine, when in truth they're closer biologically to felines. They are still, despite actually being affectionate family-oriented creatures, just more animals. But as they are dumb beasts instead of reasoning humans who choose to be destructive even knowing better, the hyenas are off the hook for now.

"Oh, they certainly will." Pamela confirms once the two have been dropped to the ground. "Either they shall sleep outside or they shall sleep in the dirt." Speaking of the dirt, the red-head starts pacing around, taking stock of the damage, seeing if anything rare or vital has been damaged, how much she is going to need to steal to make repairs, how much time is going to need to be invested to restore this miniature eco-system, and if there's any that can be saved right now. She kneels down, all calmness and half-lidded eyes once more, and starts trying to replant some of these.

After a long period of silence -- at least on Ivy's part -- she says, "You will still be punished." After that dire pronouncement, she changes subjects. "How long have you been looking for me? I have been away for several months on... Business." The amount of bare leg visible as she remains kneeling in just a labcoat should give an indicator of the fact she likely just got home a bit ago and was probably cleaning up and perhaps getting ready to rest after a long trip when she heard all the noise. Finally deciding to put aside the matter of the damaged plants for the moment, she rises to her feet, takes a long, slow, sad look around at the disrupted environment, and then starts walking towards Harley, and actually focusing on her for the first time since entering the room. She uses dirt-stained hands to pick through Harley's hair, cup her chin and turn her head from left to right, inspect her all over, as though checking her for parasites or damage. A gardener making sure her flower is intact. She smells like roses at this close range.

The hyenas hit the ground with a couple of 'giggling' yips and immediately make themselves scarce. Unlike the Joker, who they regularly snapped at for abusing their 'momma', they were /afraid/ of Ivy. Just dumb beasts though they may be, they certainly know enough to run and hide, wiggling their way outside through a hole in the exterior of the lair and sprinting off into the night. They'd come back when they got hungry or wanted attention. They always did.

The clownette keeps her arms open and waiting until long after it's apparent she isn't going to get the welcome hug she was hoping for. And then a little bit longer still, always turning to face the redhead as she roams around surveying what Harley's dogs had managed to do to her garden in such a short amount of time. And she's /still/ waiting on it when Ivy kneels down and begins to try to repair some of said damage.

"Aw, c'mon Red! It ain't that bad! You an' me, we can have this whoooooole placed cleaned up in... like a few days." The chipper blonde says, still all smiles and optimism. Until the other stuff is brought up. "Months n' months." The hawaiin-skirted criminal says morosely, finally droping her arms and letting them flop against her bare sides. "Ever since me n' Puddin' broke up again an' I been /all/ alone."

The psychotic hula-clown waits as Ivy inspects her, baby blues wide and full of woe, expressive mouth pulled down into such an expression of pity that it's almost cartoonish. Once she appears to be done, or before, if not, Harley decides Ivy is GIVING that hug, dammit! She leans forward suddenly and tries to slip her arms around her long-time friend, confident, and sometimes-mistress and starts bouncing in place and she presses cheek-to-smiling-cheek and sways side to side in an overly-exuberant display of affection.

"So now we're together again n' it can be jus' like old times! You an' me against tha world!" She pulls away for a dramatic pose, one arm still on Ivy's waist, the other held out away from them as she faces and indicates 'the world' all theatrical-like.

Ivy isn't exactly reluctant to hug Harley, so she does indeed return the embrace. A smile finally appears on her face, though it's a controlled one. She was inspecting Harley for a reason, but if she can't do the full investigation she wants to right now, she'll do it later. The knowledge that the Joker and Harley 'broke up again' is even more reason to put a priority on such. She wants to make sure that there are no signs of... Damage. Bruises, scratches, other indicators of 'mishandling' by that awful man. She wouldn't quite say she hates him, but that's mostly because of how hard it is to hate. But she definitely resents him, and when he hurts Harley, she gets very, very angry -- in a way similar to how she was just a moment ago, only lasting longer and with more intent to commit homicide.

Rubbing her hands up and down Harley's bare back slowly, Ivy says, "Join me in the powder room. I want this make-up off of me as soon as possible, and I do actually have a plan that would work better with a partner." She does not elaborate on what plan this is right now, but instead just tries to lead Harley by the hand towards the hallway she emerged from, and eventually to a side-room hidden behind a dense curtain of ivy. The extra-toxic, extra-itchy kind that has no affect on Harley thanks to the 'gift' of toxin immunity given her.

The happy, manic pixie grin is back on Harley's face as she feels the redhead hug her back, a squee escaping between her ruby-red lips. She knew how her friend felt about the object of her obsession, knew it made her angry and jealous, even know Ivy wanted her to finally leave and be free of the man permanently! But she couldn't, would likely never be able to manage it, no matter how many times she swore it. And if she ever did, Ivy might just get bored of her 'project' once it's completed and go find a new one. ...And besides, Pamela always looked kind of hot when she was pissed off and jealous.

"Mm'kay!" The blonde chirps, bouncing on her toes as she allows herself to be lead off hand-in-hand by the world's leading master of seduction and manipulation. At least she was immune to the pheromones. She's only a half-step behind the other woman, slapping aside the 'curtain' and ducking through it as she holds onto the redhead's hand with both of hers and the happiest grin in the world on her face.

"Sure, sure! I'll help ya with whatevah ya need, Red! Whatta friends for?" Besides, if she sucked up enough and got back into the other woman's good graces, she just might get to bring her babies back inside and have them sleep with her instead of out in the lonely cold night.

Once they're relatively safe in the 'powder room', which mostly seems to be a combination of chem lab, make-up application/removal center, and bedroom, Ivy seats herself at a vanity table and looks into the mirror. She has her long, red hair tied back in a low ponytail to keep it out of the way, and resting upon a thick notebook with all sorts of color-coded pieces of paper sticking out of it are a pair of eyeglasses. Her vision is fine, for the most part, but they're designed to allow her to read up-close for longer periods of time without damaging her eyesight by refracting the light so that her eyes react as though she were looking into the middle-distance instead. She holds up a wet handkerchief and requests of Harley, "Help me remove this make-up, would you, Harl?" Then she puts the glasses on and opens up her research papers to the right section.

"Still immune to poison, I take it?" she asks in a tone of voice as calm as any other time -- at least as far as most people would be able to tell. To Harley, she might be able to pick up the slight inflection that indicates this is not an idle question, but an important one. Whether Harley can see what Pamela is looking at in her notebook from behind or not, displayed are what appear to be cross-sections and sketches of some weird plant, likely never seen by Harley before. As a matter of fact, no human has other than Ivy (if she still count as such). "I have found a plant from another world, and before I examine it further I want to be certain it is safe for you to stay here," she explains. "It is very fascinating but the spores it produces... I don't know what impact they might have on you if you are no longer protected."

Like a good little goon, Harley Quinn nods her head with a "Sure thing, Red!" and opens a drawer to remove some lint-free clothes, which she already knew the location of. She's been in so many hideouts in so many places over the years it's a wonder how she remembers where any of them are, much less what's in them or where. Heck, sometimes she even had to evict (or murder) some squatters in order to reclaim one if it's been a particularly long time.

Humming gaily to herself, she pirouttes to a position standing just behind the red-haired woman, where she puts her hands on Ivy's shoulders. "Unless your stuff wears off or somethin', I'm still immune last time I checked! ...Really makes drinkin' a drag. But, ha hee hee!, ya shoulda seen me tha other day! I challenged this one mook ta a crack-off an tha idiot OD'd an' jus' couldn' unnerstand how I was still jus' sittin' there smilin' all sweet, ha ha!"

She breaks up into girlish laughter for a minute or to, before finally settling into sporadic chuckles enough to continue. She pries back the lapels of the labcoat enough to expose the tops of Ivy's shoulders, like some kind of academic evening gown. Then she sweeps the long red ponytail out of the way and begins to slowly wipe off the paint, one smudge at a time. By the time she gets to the botanist's cheeks, she's done laughing and gives a happy little sigh, resting her forearms across the plant woman's shoulders, pressing her cheek to the top of her head as she uses the mirror to work.

She doesn't pay attention to the notebook in the slightest. Harley Quinn isn't into science, unless she can make it explode.

"Ya'd've loved it. Room fulla big, strong men, all brought down by a lone woman, n' I only had ta kick /one/ of 'em ta death!" She proclaims proudly, her smile wide and excited as she looks at their reflections while getting some paint of her partner's neck.

Pam smirks a bit at the story and says, "No, it shouldn't wear off. But that doesn't mean I should just assume either." Basically, she's just checking to make sure Harley is still safe. "The plan requires that we do a lot of seemingly unrelated schemes, all for the sole purpose of spreading these alien plant spores. Based on what I have seen so far, they should have a very interesting effect on the city when spring comes. It will go faster with the two of us." She sighs and leans back against Harley, closing her green eyes to mere slits. "It's good to be back," she utters quietly as she watches the flesh-tone body paint gradually wiped away, revealing the green beneath. A hand reaches up to firmly, but gently, take Harley's wrist. Sometimes she wonders why she even comes back to Gotham when she could go anywhere else in the world. Batman has other stuff to take care of. If she's out of his jurisdiction, as it were, it'll be a lot harder for him to mess with her and destroy her lovely plants.

Then she remembers why she comes back.

It's because Harley won't leave.

Maybe there's a way to fix that...