2012-12-21 5 Golden Rings

"Youre sure you can handle it?"

"Of course I can. Hes 2. Whats the problem?"

Kid Flash, ever the enthusiast, seems to have no fear about the toddler in front of him. The mother, Justicia, is a low level hero who frequents Harlem and, to a lesser extent, some of the other boroughs.

The boy, Bryant, was little over knee-high (literally) with a soft black afro and dark eyes almost as big tennis balls.

"Well, his powers are starting to kick in and hes going through kind of a tough phase." Kid Flash chuckles and looks at the young woman. "Hes a kid. What could go wrong?"

The green eyes behind KFs mask lock on to Bryants for a split moment.

Bryants baby eyes close in a scowl.

KFs eyes grow wide with sudden concern.

13 MINUTES LATER

"Wanit! Wanit!"

"Want what?" Kid Flash asks, already exhausted from acting as this kids tail. The living room is trashed with toys, books, clothing, Christmas Ornaments, stuffed animals and couch pillows strewn everywhere. On the television an advertisement is blaring in the background. The young hero tried to use the television as an aid, but to no avail. Now Bryant seems to be watching the Grizzly Dog commercial for the Saturday morning cartoon. "Gizzly."

Those large brown eyes get even bigger as past the couch is a window and past the window is a view down a busy street and at that busy street is a parade with gigantic floats. It just so happens that one float in particular catches young Bryants eye. A 3 story version of Grizzly Dog is suspended in air, tethered with nearly invisible leashes. To Bryant it is very much the real thing. In shock he gasps inwardly and whispers, "Wannit."

THWACK!

The smack against KFs noggin isnt a purposeful thing. Its more just exuberance coming from the kid. The problem is that this kid is a superpowered toddler going through the terrible twos. He doesnt know his own strength--literally.

Not ready for it, the playful smack knocks the hero out cold. The only thing that stands between Bryant and the Grizzly Float is a pane of glass and about 23 stories. The glass goes even easier than the hero did. A gigantic crash flings the pane from 23 stories up, taking a third of the outer wall with it. After the pieces of the window and wall hit the ground below and shatter into roughly a billion pieces, the only thing that can be heard is the toddlers giggle.

13 MINUTES LATER

Reports later would vary, but multiple eyewitnesses claim that a young boy, a toddler, literally floated down out of the sky after the Grizzly Dog Cartoon Dog Float (of the KidzTV hour on LexChan) mysteriously popped. The child landed on the ground and began throwing a severe tantrum. Despite attempts by passersby to console the young one the tantrum turned dangers as the childs hands began to slam into the ground over and over, causing extreme damage.

Over and over the child is screaming, "Wannit! NOW!"

"

What's the worst that could happen? It's surprising that this phrase doesn't show up on more tombstones. Because the very act of uttering it seems to encompass every bad luck ritual you could possibly perform. From having a black cat cross your path, to walking under a ladder. Rocket himself has had a few run-ins with children since finding himself on Earth, it's made him rethink his opinion of Dogs being the most annoying drooling creature he's ever encountered. So it's just his luck that he's in the area, trying not to draw too much attention to himself... amd watching this strange ritual featuring giant balloons. The Humans of Earth while fascinating are just as insane as the Loonies back on Halfworld. As the so-called crap hits the fan and everyone starts to panic, Rocket is nearly stepped on when people start reacting as humans are want to do when these sorts of things happen. Which earns a long string of curses, most of which are not of Earth Origin.

Lunair isn't normally one for children. Her background precludes most of it. Actually, she seems to have an ALARMING lack of social skills and social anything really. So what this all has to do with her? Is beyond her. But she arrives in time to notice that strange, charming fast fellow out cold and a child throwing a full on tantrum. There's a long pause as she stares at the kid and his mom. "Hey... hey kiddo... if you promise to be good for awhile... I think we can get one for you..." She's trying negotiating. Without grenades.

Well, it's not like Emmy is involved in any of this right now. She's fully recovered from her hospital stay, and she's got her armor on standby. It's sitting inside a pocket dimension where it waits to be summoned... anime style. Right now though, she's doing the first field test run of her newest toy. Someone gave her the idea for it, and so she donned her skintight suit, the disc holder on her back, and plucked her handlebars out of the cupboard. She walked out into the street and pulled them apart. A second or two later, she was on a light-cycle right out of the Tron Legacy movie, and whooshing off at a couple hundred miles per hour. The next thing she knew, she was kicking up a dovetail of water as she hit her 500mph top speed while roaring towards New York via the waterway. Finally, she manages to slow down after holding on for dear life for many miles of transit. When she manages to stop the bike and look around, she's maybe a block from where the two year old's super tantrum is about to hit... and she shakes her head, the helmet flowing back from her face and being absorbed into the suit as she mutters, "I -gotta- get some sort of speederbike style visor so I can see where I'm goin' before I get there!"

The parade was supposed to be a treat for Broo, he put on his holo imager, scratched his wrist a lot, ridden the train from up north, scratched his wrist some more, looked at his holo shoes, scratched his wrist again, pondered why humans like nasty pork products so much that they sell them everywhere, scratched his wrist with his foot even though anyone looking saw him doing it with the tip of his shoe with the shoe still on his foot, and then climbed to a spot where he could have a decent view. Sadly as soon as he got comfortable a guy wearing a top hat and goggles and some sort of victorian looking clothing sat down in front of him and blocked his view. At first Broo just tries to peer around the hat... to the left, no good... to the right, no good... stand up, still no good... scratch wrist, ahhhh feels good... wait, not helping see around hat.

The sound of the wall breaking, followed by the balloon animal popping, the glass shattering, the general crying and shaking, and the turmoil... Broo just gives up on the looking around the hat man, not that it matters since the guy starts to flee anyway, and instead heads toward the crying child. Speaking slowly Broo smiles, "Greetings larval terran being, what causes your sadness? Perhaps I can help you get what you desire, if you stop crying and pounding, and just expound on your demands?" slowly inching closer to the toddler, leaving odd little claw marks in the ground despite seeming to be wearing shoes.

Jake Lockley, taxi driver. It wasn't the most glamorous job in the world, but it served it's purpose, just as Jake Lockley served his. However, there are times, even in the exciting world of taxi driving, that you get time off. Today, during the parade, happened to be one of them.

Of course it would be, if people could keep their stupid superpowered brats under control. "Dumbass kid. Where the hell are his parents?" The annoyed grumblings come forth, even as Jake walks across the street towards the tantruming toddler. The ground pounding, of course, elicits a slight pause in his step, quickly covered up by a desire to toss away the cigarette. Not scared of a kid. Just looking out for his health, clearly. "Alright, Kid. Whatchu' want? Huh? You want your parents?"

All asked from at least four baby arm lengths away.

"Oooh! /KITTY!/" says Bryant. The Grizzly Dog is, at least momentarily, completely forgotten. His short arms extend out towards Rocket Raccoon and stubby little legs carry the boy in the furry guy's direction. "Wannit. Peeze?Yes." He nods to himself as if he was asking and getting permission in one fell swoop.

The young boy remains blissfully unaware of Lunair and Emmy as he makes his way. Indeed, it seems the only thing in Bryant's mind right now is Rocket Raccoon.

Broo's words to catch the boy's partial interest. "No-no!" he says incomprehensibly and still makes the grabby hands towards Rocky. Jake's words are heard, but come too late. At least at the moment. Kitty.

MEANWHILE--BACK AT THE APARTMENT--

Rocket's immediate reaction when little grubby hands are reaching for him is to back away, and then kick off with his rocket skates. A quick burst of flame taking him out of grab range, as he glares down at the munchkin and hisses just a little bit. "Hands off the merchandise pal! I don't know where those fingers have been." Likely up the kid's nose, if his observation of human spawnlings is any indication. His nervous fingers are hovering over his pistols, though he's not about to draw on a kid. At least not without good justifcation. A glance is offered to the others who are arriving and then back to the kid. "Play wiith them instead."

... Um. Oh dear. Well, Lunair rubs the back of her head. She can't help being ignored. She blinks and glances around. Where's Lunair gonna get a suitably cute cat? She looks around. "Um." Well, crap. Hmmm. "That's not a cat... that looks like a raccoon, actually." She pauses. "Oh hey wait! Maybe you could lead him back to his mom? or - where did he come from...? And did she just see a talking raccoon. She pauses, pulls an orange bottle out of her purse. Shrugs and tosses them in. An owlish stare. "... right, then." And that Broo fellow - gets a polite wave.

Seeing the child, Emmy shakes her head. "Oh, how adorable!" she exclaims. She steps off the bike and pulls the handlebars with her, the bike vanishing into thin air as she tucks the pieces into tiny pockets on her hips. She is oblivious to the damage the kid has caused already, and she's just walking towards him, gunbelt hanging a bit loose on this skintight outfit compared to how it would work on say... her bluejeans. Anyhow, she's walking right towards Bryant and her voice is going into that goofy adults talking to kids mode, "Aw, who's a good little boy?" she asks, "Where are your Mommy and Daddy at?" she asks with that inflection of her voice. Yes, rocket raccoons... don't even enter into her brain just yet. Wait, she'll notice eventually! Right now, tunnel vision mode engaged!

Scratching his wrist, Broo smiles, and almost snickers at the boy calling the Raccoon a kitty. There is no need to correct the child, after all, it is still young and has plenty of time to learn about rodents vs felines. He slowly moves forward to provide support, in case the shorter beings... Wow... such an odd concept, beings shorter then Broo... need assistance, either the child in catching the 'Kitty', or the 'Kitty' in not being turned into tomorrow's special at the Roadkill Diner. As he approaches slowly, not wanting to scare the child, he idly scratches his left wrist near the fancy digital watch he wears there... boy that wrist must itch a whole lot. As the Racoon starts to fly, he looks up, "It is a larval terran, it knows no better, and it appears to find your appearance appeasing. Would it not be better to pacify the hatchling for the time being instead of aggitating it further? Any neccessary decontamination and cleansing may be done after the human larva is properly sedated in some manner and returned to its progenitors." returning Lunairs polite wave with his right hand before using it to scratch his left wrist again, "She is correct in her assessment of the potentiality of your resemblence to feline to the Terranspawn can be used to lure it toward its spawner."

"... Larva?"

Jake, despite the utterly confused tone of voice, looks completely stoic as he watches a raccoon backing away from a superpowered toddler while it's being addressed as the 'Larval Terran.' Maybe he shouldn't have thrown away his cigarette in the first place.

Normally, he'd leave the baby pampering to someone else, but this could get messy with the kid able to turn pavement into dust with his fists. He opts for the approach of least resistance and goes to lean up against a nearby wall while he digs around in his pocket for his pack of smokes. A perfect excuse to use the comm hidden in the chrome lighter. "Frenchie? Make sure the Mooncopter is warmed up... Just watch the news... Yeah... Yeah... Yeah I'm right there... Look, just be ready, alright? ... Good."

Bryant begins to giggle as Rocky backs away and attempts to get him to play with the others. He rocks on his feet and tilts his head. After a laugh that comes out of nowhere, the boy hunches down at the knees and clasps his hands together before continuing to reach for Rocky. "Kitty!"

"Akoon!" Bryant says as Lunair changes his direction of thought. "Yeah?" he asks in a high pitch question. "Yeah? Play!" But as Rocky continues to back away exuberance eventually leads to frustration, and the boy begins to throw yet another tantrum. This time, his vicious screams illicit a powerful sonic blast that rings deep in the ears of anyone susceptible to such things. Thick, sobby tears begin to stream down his face. "Wannit! Akoon!" after a few moments the piercing shriek stops. The boy looks to Emmy, and stops, doe eyed.

But as Broo begins to speak, confusion comes across the boy's face. He looks to Emmy, looks to Broo and begins to cry once more, super-shrieking. Worse, he begins to stomp his little feet, causing ripple-waves on the sidewalk and road.

Kid Flash can hear the rumbling blocks away and in an instant he comes skidding to a stop and surveys the carnage. "Oh boy."

Lunair's helpful suggestion earns her a frown, and a few annoyed 'Coonish vocalizations. "I'm not a flarking babysitter... " He didn't like the life of caring for insane humaniods, caring for a potenially stinky, sticky, and grabby offspring of one is even lower on his 'Things I Want To Do before I Die' list. Rocket continues to remain in flight, a few occasional bursts from his rocket skates as he keeps moving around and away from the child. "You pacify it. I'm not a plush toy either. I've seen what they do to those things. Grubby fingers and drooling mouths can look elsewhere." Yeah, Rocket's not at all in a happy mood at that suggestion. "I've face cosmic horrors beyond your imagination I would rather get a hug from. At least they won't pluck out your eye and eat it." When Rocket's less than huggy and snuggy nature kicks off another tantrum, Rocket pulls a blaster with a hopeful look. And of course, that's when it shrieks and the pistol is reholstered so Rocket can clamp his hands over his poor sensitive ears. His flight path getting a bit erratic due to his loss of foucs. His bobbing and weaving bringing him close into grab range.

Headtilt. Sigh. "Look, you're probably not the only one tempted to stop this with blasters, lasers, light sabers or even grenades... but no one said you had to be a babysitter. Just lead him home and his mom should take care of it, yeah? Or help us find another plushie to distract him... what do kids like...?" Chintap. Chintap. It's... kind of obvious something is very wrong with Lunair. Seriously. "You don't even have to get touched if we just lure him over -" Toys toys toys... "Eh... candy? Light sabers?" Hmm. Crud.

Well, Emmy would love to be doing something helpful and cool but... for now she is tumbling to the ground as ripples of the footstomps shake the ground. Even as her hands come up to cover her ears and she topples over onto her back. Yes, her ears are already starting to bleed from the effect of the tantrum's screams. She's curling into a fetal position by this time too. Some superhero she turned out to be! She can't even handle a little kid! Though, she does hear -something-. "Light saber... over here..." She shakes her left leg, the silver cylinder dangling from her belt glinting in the light.

The first sonic assualt causes Broo to cover his ears and cringe in pain, and then he smiles as it stops, only to have to cover his auditory canals... as the second blast cracks something in Broo's holoimager and where once stood a tiny little dwarf, now stands Broo... shoesless... turns out most everthing else he was wearing wasn't holographic, but he is still quite different when not all holoimaged. He looks up and tries to shout over the scraming, "I will try to keep him from squishing you, but better he gets expatorial immisions and nasal membrane viscious productions on you then he cause cerebral hemoraging or worse liquification of your internal organs..." his wings extend out and he sort of flutters all around as if his equilibrium is completely shot, trying to fly above the Procyonidae to force him down toward the child.

Sonic screams. Awesome. This is just what Jake was hoping for. "Motherf -- lipper!" Jake corrects himself halfway though his curse as he clamps his hands over his ears, slipping two earplugs into them from the gauntlets hidden beneath his bomber jacket. Always be prepared.

Then there's the seismic tremors and a flying insect in human clothes and Jake goes to his happy place, replaced seamlessly with Moon Knight. Calm, collected, Moon Knight.

"Would someone shut that kid up!?" The man slips away and into a back alley, quickly changing into the pure white uniform he wears at all times, before he grappels up to the top of a nearby building. He didn't change to stop the situation, oh no. Just to have a good reason to be crouched on a rooftop. Away from terrible toddlers with tremendous strength.

Oh no is right, Rocky. As the mammalian creature zooms past, Bryant inexplicably hooks a finger into the the clothes of the other and begins to drag his feet along the pavement, causing it to break apart in rough sheets. The boy has yet to see the lightsaber, and although this narrator cannot be sure, it believeses that babies and intergalactic weaponry are not the best mix.

Kid Flash tears towards the pair, but just as he's about to grab onto Bryant, the Terrific Toddler reaches a hand back and accidentally punches the Scarlet Speedster in the face, knocking him flying. "Nice kitty-akoon," Bryant says as he pulls Rocky closer and pets him on the head. "Niiiiiiiiiice."

You ever seen those internet videos of pissed off cats... imagine that cranked up to 11. As soon as Bryant grabs ahold of Rocket, he cuts the rocket skates... because it's either that or end up having his clothes ripped off by the clingy child. So once poor Rocket's being snuggled and clung to.... everyone including Wally get heavy scowl. "There... happy, I shut the flarking kid up. Where's my medal?" Rocket twitches just a bit as he's being petted. You can tell he's biting his lip from spewing a stream of swear words. Though there is a soft growling noise vibrating in his throat.

Hmm. Well, he could put an eye out. It should be somewhat apparent that whatever upbringing she had skewed her view of 'appropriate'. Lunair turns around, just in time to notice Rocket pulling an Angry Cat. Her eyes widen. Poor Rocket. She looks sympathetic. "Um. Thank you, Mr. Raccoon. The best I can do is offer you some cash, food or - what do raccoons like?" Has this kid lived under a rock? She just might. She does seem to appreciate it. There's a polite smile for Emmy. "Has anyone seen his mom? We need to find her." Before Rocket gets squished, even more irritated or hurt. For now then, she looks around, trying to find Bryant's mom.

Well, one thing about Emmy. She's got a mind that works at least... when it's not being shaken to pieces by the tantrum from hell. She reaches up and presses a stud on the neck of that tron-style skintight outfit, and a black helmet with a glowing blue visor springs into being around her head. That dulls the noise a bit, but not enough. She starts trying to crawl away, whimpering inside that helmet as she does so. Finally though, she's not a problem solver -today-. Right now, she just wants to survive... and to do that, she ... pulls out the little bar that is ... suddenly stopped as the noise stops. She shakes her head and looks back, only to slump to the ground in sheer relief at the sudden emergence of silence. "Thank god." she mutters... before slipping blessedly, and peacefully into unconsciousness.

With the screaming abated, Broo follows RR down, flying more smoothly. He smiles and says, "Hey... he likes you Mr. Kitty-akoon. Now that he is calm, I'm sure we can get him to go back to his hive or clutch or wherever the Terrans keep their larva." he looks around, "Just stay calm, everything will be fine." trying to keep a calming tone, though if his words are meant for the child or the child's new plaything is not definitive, "Let all just slowly get out of the pathway for which are reserved for the terran conveyances to travel upon." moving slowly so he can get behind the child and perhaps pick it and Rocket Racoon up as one. His movements slow as he extends his clawed hands slowly out to lift them and probably fly them back to where the child came from.

Kid Flash, now battered and bruised and covered in dust sits up groggily. His eyes go wide as people begin to huddle around that tiny ball of fun that is his responsibility to a woman he has been on again off again dating. He zips up to his feet and is over right next to Rocky a split second later. "Whew. Kids these days, I tell ya! You turn around one second and they're gone." Kid Flash reddens as he slips over even closer and nods to Lunair and Emmy...whoa, she's passed out and to Broo. "Hi. Kid Flash. Pleasure. Hi." "Kids." He looks around uncomfortably. "Well, it looks...something...ew...What's that smell?" Kid Flash holds his nose. "Looks like I'd better take this little guy off everyone's hands and..." Without really being polite about it, Kid Flash just sort of barges in, takes the kid and WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! Speeds away. Leaving thousands of dollars of damage and confused bystanders in his wake.

Thankfully before Rocket flips out or the kid starts chewing on him... Kid Flash saves the day. Leaving Rocket still looking like he's been sucking on lemons. Standing up and dusting himself off, Rocket glances around and scrubs his face with his hands. "Why does this planet fascinate me again?" He wonders aloud before stalking off, flicking some drool off one of his ears.

Broo sighs and wipes his crest which flops in relief, then starts to check his holo-imager which seems completely ruined. He fiddles with it, walking out of the street to allow the parade to start again... not that it will, but he has no idea of that. He stands near an ally trying to get his cracked and broken wrist mounted holo-imaging system to make him look human again... to no avail.

Lunair tilts her head. "I'm sorry. I can help get you a wet towel or wipe or food as compensation. I'm not sure what raccoons like," She admits, not seeming to mind no one noticing earlier. She looks around her. "But I suspect it's for the better that we leave... soon, preferably." She might be looking for Broo, but won't linger too long. She's not one to be questioned by police.



By the time the pair reach the apartment the toddler is fast asleep. All that crying, screaming, and other stuff really tuckered him out. He's so sweet when he's passed out and not crushing cornerstones of buildings! Must. Think. Fast. Kid Flash fires up the computer and begins opening 15 windows instructing him how to do home repairs. From there it's about 20 minutes for him to get the materials necessary and another 15 to figure out how to put the building back together again. As soon as he's done he collapses on the couch, just in time to hear the door click open.

"How'd it go?"

"Hmm?"

"Bryant. How was he?"

"Great. Piece of cake. Easy peasy."

Kid Flash sits up and smiles at Justicia but his ears betray him. On the news comes and the news isn't pretty. It's pretty clear to Justicia what happened.

And any hopes of getting in on the Justicia angle suddenly close right in front of KF's face.

"I hope this doesn'...."

The door is slammed in his face.

"Well that went well."

Thankfully before Rocket flips out or the kid starts chewing on him... Kid Flash saves the day. Leaving Rocket still looking like he's been sucking on lemons. Standing up and dusting himself off, Rocket glances around and scrubs his face with his hands. "Why does this planet fascinate me again?" He wonders aloud before stalking off, flicking some drool off one of his ears.