2013-08-01 Fire Creatures Attack Staten Island Mall

The brunette anchor for Channel 8 turns toward the camera as she gracefully transitions from a story about the state congressional budget hearing to the next news clip on the teleprompter.

"We have more information tonight on the attack at the Staten Island Mall yesterday afternoon. Witnesses at the scene have reported that 'lava men' and a giant snake made of fire invaded the mall around 1PM yesterday. Reports also indicate that the Avenger and goddess known as Sif was on the scene, as well as the villain Loki. Sources wouldn't confirm or deny the cause of the attack, but many are pointing fingers towards Loki's involvement."

While the woman talks the video cuts to on-scene footage of the exterior of the mall. The east entrance is smashed in, and the parking lot is a scene of chaos. Fire trucks, ambulances and police cars have much of the parking lot blocked off, and the police are doing a fair job of keeping spectators at bay. The video cuts again, this time to a tighter shot of a man with heavy framed glasses and a dark grey suit being lead from the building by two firefighters. He's guided into an ambulance and the video cuts back to the anchor.

"Thankfully there were no serious injuries as a result of the attack as mall security staff were able to quickly evacuate the building. Sources are also reporting that there's minimal structural damage to the building, and that the mall should re-open for business shortly. It's unclear at this time whether this attack is related to the incident involving ice creatures on Wall Street last Thursday."