|"Four Peeps and some Goop"|
|What: Four people come together to fight a big behemoth tearing up Midtown. And Deadpool reads a pop-up book.|
Deadpool goes flying across the street. This would be unusual, except that he is travelling head first and not really under his own flight control. He bounces off at least one lamppost and crashes through a storefront window.
"Picked a baaad day to stop drinkin'," he says, his voice sounding rather feeble.
What propelled Deadpool is a bit of concern. It's about fifteen feet tall, weighs around, oh, eight hundred pounds, and is snorting fire and going stampy-stampy with cloven hooves. If someone had to draw an archetypical vision of a satanic being, this would be pretty close. Oh, like that one guy at the end of Doom 3! Yup. Just like that. More importantly, it's flipping cars and generally causing mayhem like nobody's biz, up and down a quiet Manhatten street.
"Averngersh, asshemble!" Deadpool slurs, his arm thrusting upwards from the debris, finger aimed decisively upwards.
It really does seem that Tanya's attempts to just drive her motorcycle are somehow causing the worst luck she can imagine. She pulls her Dodge Tomahawk to a stop when the traffic stops, and she stares wide-eyed at the behemoth at the other end of the block tearing the place up. "...got'a be kidding me," she mutters under her breath, then maneuvers the motorcycle over to the curb. Thing had better be there later, that's all she's got to say.
She starts jogging down the block, grateful she decided to wear her sneakers today. They do make running that much easier than motorcycle boots do, after all. She aims for the arm sticking out of the rubble in the store, to see if the man is alright.
It was a quiet afternoon. Beer. Television. Cats. It was nice. Then something decided to take Manhattan.
Dropping down in a sky car that lands near Times Square, Agent(he'll still never get used to that) Hellboy is on the clock. He's got a rather beat up duffel bag slung over one shoulder, and from the description of the what's going after people in Midtown he's already got the Samaritan drawn and ready to roll. He shakes his head as he pursues, quickly by his standards, to the location where things are going pear-shaped. "Sick and tired of lookalikes trying to steal my thunder." he says to himself. Not taking note of the usual stares and pointing. When it gets too much, he raises his voice a little "YO! S.H.I.E.L.D. Business coming through! MAKE A HOLE!!" so he can get some clear passage.
Mmmn, rice balls. Lunair is eating as she walks. She nibbles along the edge as she walks. Maybe she parked nearby. Maybe she uses public transport. It's really hard to say. Her eyes seem blank and peaceful. Alas, that working on normalcy thing is working as well as teaching platypi to do cabaret. It isn't. Regardless, she has a bag over her shoulder - she must've been doing some shopping and - then a Deadpool goes flying by down the block. She coughs and almost chokes on her rice ball. Gack! But fortunately, there is no choking. She swallows it fast and bolts down the street, past gawkers. "Pardon, pardon - oh goodness..." Something that knocks over Deadpool must be bad. On the other hand, she doesn't want to out herself... Hmm. She lingers behind a car a moment then, finger-wriggling and pulling up... a simple laser gun. Lasers work on demons, maybe? Too bad she does't have a Carly Rae sonic cannon.
Deadpool kicks and punches his way through the debris. Take that, debris! He gets to his feet, battered, bloody, but unbowed, and his uniform artfully shredded. As Tanya closes with his position, Deadpool eyes her, then tears his uniform a bit more, for good effect. "Look out! It's a giant fire breathing, uh, thing!" He gets a running start back at it, producing a pair of short-barreled SMGs, and unloading a bracket of automatic fire into its face.
"Bill? Hi Bill!" Deadpool says, as cheerily as if he wasn't in the process of trying to murder a demon of unrelenting horror. "What brings you to Manhatten? Spreading the good word?" He dodges a tail swipe, then a pair of claws, not really looking at the demon as he chats blithely on at Agent Hellboy.
"...what?" is all Tanya can think to say as the man tears his uniform more, on purpose, then takes running off after the thing again. Well, okay. She's about to start running again as well--when what looks like the behemoth's baby shows up. Wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform, of all things. Yuh-huh. Her night is just getting stranger and stranger.
But take off running again she does, eyes and hands glowing a bright pink, and there's a pink outline of a stylized bird wing just barely visible at her right hip. Whatever this thing is, it's going down. And those with magical senses can "feel" the girl light up like a Christmas tree as she starts drawing in magical power.
Hellboy confronts the demon as he comes on the scene. A quick sizing up lets him know how to deal with it. He starts running in earnest and jumps, using the top of a cab as a bounce off. "Yo! Ugly!! Don't you know big, red, and ugly is MY bag? Get your OWN gimmick!" and fires one of the Samaritan's rounds at the thing as he flies past. He hits the ground square and slides, his boots causing a bit of a spark up as he comes to a halt next to Deadpool, "You know how it is, Ted." he says, looking over at Deadpool "You gotta stop the things that make the baby Jesus cry."
Wait. There's two of them. Lunair tilts her head. She listens, following the action for a moment. Her weapon in her hand, she figures the quiet one trying to play Badminton with Deadpool is probably the one to blast. Yes. Decision made. Her movements are fluid - far more than one would expect from someone Lunair's age as she finally pokes up from behind the car. "... I guess they aren't holy, but maybe lasers will do ..." Too bad there's no Church of Perpetual Violence or she'd be positively nunly. Regardless, she's aiming, watching. Alas, it's hardly flashy or magical but someone might be a bit startled by someone with a laser gun just popping up like that gopher's hellish cousin.
Deadpool dodges under some claws. "I hate it when the baby Jesus cries. Makes me sad," he comments, idly, neatly side-stepping a crushing swipe of a tail. "Luna! Can you do me, like, a ten-gauge shotgun loaded with, uh, whatever it is he's shooting?" Deadpool backflips spectacularly and throws several daggers at the demon, who roars more out of frustration than actual pain.
...and there's someone talking about shooting lasers. What. Tanya can only think about the young woman for a beat, then she's darting to press herself next to a bookstore wall, the "lip" providing next to no cover but she'll take it. She spends just a couple of beats more drawing in magical energy--then she darts out and brings her wrists together, palms aimed at the demon's chest. She looses a pink-ish bolt of magical energy, aimed right at that chest. If she doesn't burn a hole clear through, she'll at least piss it the hell off and make it maybe stop attacking everything and everyone in its immediate vicinity.
Hellboy watches Deadpool get out of the way and when the demon, out of frustration tries to lash out at the source of it. In steps Hellboy, to get between DP and the tail coming to strike like a whip. He grabs it with both hands, "Aw no ya don't ya ugly bastard!" he calls out, he uses his Right Hand of Doom for strength and his left hand for control. The laser blasts, the daggers, and now Hellboy uses all this to physically flip the thing over on its back!
Hmm. Loud, explosive... HE rounds maybe? Yes. AA12 and ... well, there's frag twelve grenade rounds. "Okay... here's one... just be careful with the grenade rounds..." She warns. Lunair is not responsible for loss of limbs, eyes, or passers by. Though, most would likely run at this point. Lunair looks thoughtful a moment and lo, an AA12 shotgun comes into existence, with a few of said rounds. Thoughtfully, she loads it before handing it over. Mind, she has to make her way around the car - but it's for a friend, so that's alright. She just has to be mindful not to get under foot or back of either of the demon fellows.
Tanya Li's blast stuns the beast, causing it to rake the air with claws and avert its eyes from the brilliant, blinding beam of light. It's stunned enough that when Hellboy joins the fight, it doesn't have the wherewithal to defend itself from the assault that throws it ass over teakettle.
Deadpool dodges aside as Hellboy flips the beast over with his Right Hand of Doom. He leaps towards Lunaire and takes the AA-12 in hand, leaping and dodging from car to car. He leaps off a car, flips once, and lands on the stunned demon's chest. "Say herro to my littl' frien'!" he shouts. Deadpool takes two steps forward, jams the barrel of the automatic shotgun into the demon's mouth, and pulls the trigger.
The end result is predictably explosive and kind of juicy, in that everyone within fifteen yards is covered with alien goop. Deadpool ends up back in the pile of rubble he'd just vacated, buried up to his neck.
"Did we win?"
"...oh for fuck's sake..." mutters Tanya, dripping with goo and holding her arms out a bit. She really did have to stay out of cover to make sure the blast hit, didn't she? And when the thing went over, she couldn't help but watch and make sure it stayed the hell down. She just blinks for a moment, two pink dots amidst the innards and demon-goo, then she sighs and drops her hands to her sides.
"I sure as hell hope so," she calls back in response to the question. "If the thing lived through all of that--screw it, I'm moving to Gotham, hellacious pigeons be damned." What's worse than being covered in the goo is the fact that it tastes worse than it smells. Which is saying something.
Hellboy looks over his shoulder at Deadpool then back to what's left of the demon, "That'll do, pig. That'll do." he wipes some of the goo off his trench.
Deadpool fires a rocket round at Hellboy. Harmless to him? Yup. Painful? Probably.
"Didn't quite hear that, Bill!"
Lunair just had to give him the explosive rounds didn't she? She just had to step out from behind her car cover. She blinks, looking positively owlish. If owls dispensed high explosive weaponry and assassinated people, anyway. Either way, she has to smile a little. "Well, he looked happy." The pigeons comments provokes a moment of silence. Deadly. Pigeons. Duly noted! Still, she brushes some of the goo off. "I hope you got him... much more than that and I need to start reading sci fi novels," She furrows her brows. And maybe take a correspondence course in physics or something. Sigh. Regardless, she pauses. And carefully offers Tanya her only pristine hanky. Ah, public services. Still, she looks a bit eerie, almost too calm for this despite her faint happiness and relief.
Hellboy takes the blast in his shoulder, and winces. "Dammit, Ted!" he grimaces. It's true, he's not hurt in the least. But he's in pain. "No dutch rubs, okay?!"
Deadpool kicks his way out of the rubble (again) and gets to his feet. "Lunair, I'm keeping this," he informs the woman, slinging it across his back. "Also, this thing is freakin' sweet." Deadpool wanders back over to the mess and kicks what's left of the demon. He looks at Tanya Li. "You, lady, are much less attractive when you're covered in alien goop," he informs her solemnly.
"Yeah. Thanks," says Tanya to Lunair, taking the handkerchief and looking at it. What the hell. She uses it to wipe her eyes and mouth, then offers the fetid thing back to the overly calm woman. "I think that thing came out of an 'Occult for Newbies' book, myself," she comments, trying for a little bit of humor. It's either that, or go crazy, and right now she's figuring there's more than enough crazy involved. Speaking of, she looks up at Deadpool and arches a pink brow. "Yeah? Maybe it's the next big thing. Next thing you know, everyone will be sporting body art covered in demon goop. Then you'll be sorry." Or something. At least it, too, was offered in humor. More or less.
Hellboy has stepped forward, not ignoring the others but he's inspecting what's left. He looks over his shoulder to Tanya, "You ain't kiddin' either." he shakes his head, "This thing looks like it was summoned by someone who knew just enough to be dangerous."
Lunair smiles faintly as Deadpool kicks his way out of the rubble. "Okay," She accepts this peacefully. "I believe it can fire normal rounds and be fitted for less lethal ammunition, but I suspect less lethal is rarely in the agenda." She's apparently somewhat perceptive at times. "Still, I'm glad you liked it." Really. She is. She tilts her head at Tanya. "It seemed pretty strong to give someone - a new occultist - that sort of power... that's like handing a trainee a cannon," She furrows her eyebrows. "And ew. Grody." Shiver. Demon goo. For better or worse, she is still a teenager to a point. She looks to Hellboy, tilting her head. "I guess that is part of how they 'get you'... let you summon something, then it runs over you and takes his pay in the process." Hmm.
Deadpool reaches into the large pouch at the small of his back and fishes around for a few moments. He produces a comically oversized pop-up book labeled 'Baby's First Necronomicon'. It's a pop-up book! Deadpool leafs through it for a few moments, then pulls up a picture of the demon they'd just liquefied. "Ah! This is a 'Horned Horror'. Cool!" He reads through the entry. "Wow, it even recommends explosive rounds for decapitating it," he murmurs. "Hmm. Found in all locales, terrain is n/a... has damage resistance of 5/Silver... OOh! Treasure type G!" Deadpool peers at the corpse, then shakes his head. "Pass."
The comments about demonology pique Tanya's interest, and she takes a few steps closer to the remains of the demon. "It does seem pretty strong, I agree--but this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened, either. Few weeks ago, there was this big-ass techno-magic golem-thingy in SoHo. I could read that one a little better than this, and it was--yeah. It was being controlled by someone who new just enough to be dangerous, like you said, over there." A nod to Hellboy, there. "I'm not saying these two events are connected, but--if not, then more than one person's running around, handing out magic power to those who don't know how to use it." Deadpool's reading gets him a glance and a curious look--then she just shakes her head. Yeah, this place really does have more than enough crazy right now. And for a moment, she can actually forget her upper half is covered in goo. For just a moment, then the stickiness and smell and so on remind her. Damn it.
Lunair blinks as Deadpool pulls out ... a pop-up book. She rubs the back of her head. "I guess we made a good call..." On the explosive rounds, anyway. She frowns a little. A lot of this is going over her head and she doesn't really like it. "It wouldn't surprise me... people do little rituals all the time," She points out. How many of us have a lucky charm? Insist on doing things just one way? She is losing her bearing though, the ick on her starting to have an effect. "I am going home after this and having a hot bath..." Shiver. Yick. "Maybe a shower, too, just in case. Then I'm going to burn these clothes." Yuck. "And it could be separate... people like to do things that they think will help them advance more quickly."
((Fade Out on Goop and Ick))