|... Is Tony.|
|What: Selina and Pepper invade Tony with a threesome that's not as hot as it should be.|
The first thing Selina did after exiting Pepper's office is grab a large coffee from one of the 24/7 diners not too far from the SI highrise, the cup in hand being evidence of her having done so when she arrives at the mansion. "JARVIS, this is Selina Kyle. Please let me in," she requests politely, not caring that JARVIS is an AI and arrangements have already been made for her. While waiting for permission to come in she looks around, concerned.
JARVIS wastes no time at all in making sure that things get unlocked and that Selina Kyle is let inside. There are even some lights pointed in the direction of where the great Tony Stark may or may not be hiding.
He's not hiding. He's right in one of the many lounge areas of the mansion. He's curled around a bottle of something strong and there's not even a glass in sight. Okay, that's a lie. There's a bunch of broken glasses. But either way, Tony is likely about to finish off another bottle.
There's a lot of holoscreen stuff going on around him at the moment. As story after story about The Fall of Tony Stark is being played right now. Stark is just surrounding himself with his failure. Because, why not?
The sight of everything that's broken and ruined has her stopping in her tracks, the sight of the ruined glass and the state Tony himself is in getting Selina's blood to run icy cold suddenly. She almost says something to him but then the sound of something catches her ears and she happens to see some of the news reports that Tony's tormenting himself with.
"JARVIS," Selina says as she steps around a pile of sharp shards upon the floor, "Uh... cease all video feeds, please," her request halting as she isn't sure how to word requests of that nature. First time for everything.
Regardless of if the holofeeds are stopped or not she sits beside him, Selina concerned. "Tony, what's going on," she asks ever so gently, reaching out with both hands. The left is drawn close to the bottle he's all but being intimate with while the right drifts towards his hair, seeking to draw fingers through it.
"Override. Continuous Play."
Those words are from Tony. And while they are both hoarse and tired, because who knows how long Tony has been awake and drinking, there's the fact that JARVIS is just that smart enough to be able understand that Tony's issuing manual overrides. Which is just working out in Tony's unfavor.
"Buh?" Tony barely even notices that Selina is in the room. He's too busy listening to everybody talk about him losing everything. Which is how it feels. "I'm having a drink. Want one? I've got..." Stark is shifting in his position and attempting to see if he can't find another bottle somewhere. He reaches and slaps around, ending up with one that's empty. It is held out and offered to Selina.
Tony's free hand helps him down more of the bottle he's already cradling like a lifeline.
In a show of uncharacteristic anger, Selina literally slaps at the bottle, attempting to send it flying out of Tony's hand. "No and you're done, as well. JARVIS, turn off the damn feeds," she literally commands the 'butler', her tone hinting to how she will not take no for an answer, that for the AI's benefit as much as it is for Tony's. "And do not turn it back on for forty-eight hours." Glaring, Selina stands and reaches out again, this time to make a grab for the front of Tony's shirt. "Time to sober you up, Stark." Whooops. Someone's pissed. She just called Tony by his last name, solely.
And there goes his bottle. Tony barely gets any in his mouth and that's just not something he can stand right now. He practically falls after it, trying to get at it... almost like he's begging for another one. "Get off. I can have you arrested. I'm Tony Fucking Stark." And the language is not going to be curbed in this particular moment due to the fact that, well, he's drunk.
JARVIS cuts the feeds. He can always be overridden again later. But even an AI isn't stupid enough to cross a woman scorned.
"Sure you could," Selina says as she makes with the next step in her suddenly-thought-of plan, this being where she tries to drag him to the bathroom. There's no clue to be had as to where his bedroom or bathroom is but thanks to Selina's overnight stay a few weeks ago she at least knows where the bathroom she had access to is, that being the destination. "But you won't. There's part of you that is desperate for help, Anthony, and you won't have me hauled off because of that"
Tony, drunk as he is, will probably have to struggle to keep up. And he better hope he can stay upright otherwise he's going to be dragged into the other room and pulled into the shower.
Tony Stark is not a happy camper at this moment. In fact, he's doing everything in his power to make sure that this is not an easy task for Selina Kyle. He's drunk as fifteen skunks, he's barely moving and he's hardly even taking a step to make sure that it doesn't help her out in the least. "Whatever. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. I'm fucking Iron Man." These words just come rolling off his tongue in the middle of him being drug across the floor and towards the bathroom.
"You only want me to sober up so I can take your cheap ass on a vacation that you don't need. Isn't that right, Ms. Kyle?" And there goes the Tony Stark being an asshole to push everyone away!
She doesn't even flinch when Tony brings up their vacation, that being something he will not be allowed to use as ammunation against Selina. His accusations are allowed to instead bounce off of her, much like she is wearing armor tonight. This has two advantages. One, it doesn't allow Tony to win while he's in the midst of an alcohol-fueled pity-party and two, it keeps Selina from getting her feelings hurt.
Difficult as it is, she just might be able to make some progress in hauling Tony's ass off for a good soak.
Drunk as he may be, Tony Stark still knows when a woman is manhandling him and going to have to get him out of his clothes. So there may be less struggling going on at this particular moment. He's not really worried too much about this part of everything. He does, though, by the time they get to the door, extend a foot and stop himself from getting pushed in there. Because it's going to happen on his terms.
"The hell are you even doing here? When did you suddenly become part of the Save Stark foundation? Or are we just playing pretend like the rest of my friends. I mean colleagues. I mean acquaintances. I mean people that hang around me for my money."
"First off," Selina grits out between tightly clenched teeth, "I have my own money and more than enough of it, so you can shut the hell up about that. Secondly, someone who cares a lot about you," that being Pepper whose name is kept out of the conversation, "called me and asked me to make sure you're okay." Looking at Tony, the anger ebbs slightly and the sadness seeing him like this manifesting in how her eyes start to mist over. "And I wanted to make sure you were alright after hearing you have people concerned."
The tug-o-war lessens some but Selina's not relenting otherwise. Tony /will/ take this shower.
"Whatever. Nobody's /really/ that concerned. Not about me, anyway. They just don't want their precious Stark Industries going down in flames. Oh no! Tony Stark insulted the Wakandans! Gasp, Tony Stark bought a football team! Well, stop the presses, Tony Stark just spent some of his money on something for himself! What a wild guy!"
Tony is not fighting as much either. He's mostly just leaning against the wall at this point. He's dizzy. And it's not the best time to be trying to move around. "Look, just... I'm fine. Just go. And you can call whomever and tell 'em that you did your good deed for the day, hm?"
Selina notices how Tony seems to need support now as he starts to use the wall as a leaning post, that causing her to stop entirely. He is entirely too intoxicated and continuing to pull and yank on him might result in him vomiting, that a mess neither one of them needs or wants to clean up tonight. "Sober up some and then we'll talk, Tony," she murmurs, Selina's voice softening.
The water is turned on for him and then she moves again, about to help him get undressed. And no, Tony. This does not mean you're going to get lucky.
Tony practically flails at Selina's hands. "I got it. Just... go find me something to wear. This is going to be less fun since I can tell you won't be joining me." Apparently, Tony's all good with taking the shower by himself at this point. Even through the drunken haze he knows when he's not going to get lucky and so he might as well not even allow himself to continue thinking or feeling that it will be happening. Because that will just make him feel even worse. "Unless, of course, you want to prove me wrong on that assumption." Drunken Smile.
Selina doesn't say it verbally but the look she gives him says it for her anyhow. 'No, Tony. Get in the shower'. With JARVIS' help she finds Tony's room instead and gets some clothing for him, a loose pair of sweat pants and some metal band shirt, the name upon it one she's heard of in passing and not much more beyond that. "JARVIS, if you have access to the appliances, please make a pot of coffee," she requests, this time sounding less grumpy than the last time she 'ordered' him to do something.
The clothing is dropped off into the bathroom, set upon the sink's counter before she disappears again, this time going to tidy up the epic mess he has made of the living area.
Eventually, Semi-Sober Stark comes stumbling out of the bathroom and down the hall dressed in his Used To Be Drunk attire. He can smell the coffee that JARVIS is making and he's not at all happy about that. Not unless there's going to be some alcohol added to it. Either way, Stark is on his way back out and he looks cleaner and smells so much better, but he doesn't look happy. "You're still here? Ugh. Just leave. I'm fine. See?" And there he goes with the modeling of clothes that he makes look even better than they already looked.
Selina doesn't notice Tony's return at first, her attention on the cleaning up more than where her unwilling host is at. Angry and sad, she also hasn't been paying attention to how the shards have been picked up, resulting in several cuts that are just shy of being deep enough to drip blood onto his fancy flooring. When he is noticed she straightens, the glass she has in hand tossed into a nearby trash bin, the size of it big enough to result in a loud *thunk* as it hits the bottom. "Not until I clean up," she retorts lamely, her red eyes holding to his. "So screw you and your... goddammed pity party."
"Are you going to do my laundry next? If so, I can dig out one of the maid's uniforms." Tony has a big grin on his face as he just wanders over to some comfortable leather seating and sits himself down. He leans back and throws his arms over the back of the sofa and crosses his legs at the ankles. He's clearly not worried too much about Selina making his place nice and clean. He just wants to enjoy the view. "Oh and you missed a spot there." He points off in some random direction, just to be an ass.
There was some heart put into the attempt at cleaning but it got shot to Hell when Tony jokes with her and he actually gets one of the empty bottles thrown at him. He won't have to worry about being hit though as she didn't put anything behind it, the bottle instead sailing wide to his left. It doesn't shatter, the glass vessel instead thudding harmlessly upon the carpet. "Get bent," she yells, her voice cracking when it hits the level of shrillness that almost hurts the vocal chords. "I can't see why Pepper...." Whooops. "... even cares enough to ask me to check and make sure you're alright." No, she doesn't mean that. She's just too angry to control herself.
"That's what I've been saying! So! Now that you've seen I'm not dead, unless you want to dig out the vacuum and hit these halls..." Tony heads over towards the bar to snatch up his wallet. "JARVIS. Get Ms. Kyle a cab. She's ready to report back to her superiors about Operation: Annoy Tony Stark." He digs through his wallet some and comes out with the smallest bill he can find and flicks the hundred dollar bill in Selina's direction. "Keep the change." Damn. Cruel Intentions. And then he's already leaning over the bar to slide open something beneath the bar and grab a new bottle to crack open. Champagne?!
Okay. The money and the dismissal and everything leading to this point has Selina angry but when she sees him reaching for more to drink she starts to see red. The money's left where it had been tossed and she reaches over, her left hand used to clasp Tony's shoulder so she can turn him towards her. "You'll probably hate me for this in the morning," Sel says at the same time she raises her right hand, fingers curled into a fist, "But right now I can't say I give a damn." And with that she swings a punch at him, knuckled aimed for his left temple. It should be hard enough to knock him out if it makes contact.
The problem with being an asshole to Selina Kyle is that you will probably get said asshole beaten. And before Tony really understands what is happening, he's pulled and ROCKED right upside his head. Which is nothing but sudden and pure pain. He's not in his armor so the last thing Tony remembers is dropping the bottle of champagne as he goes down. Hard. Hitting the floor and everything. Whump!
Now that the babysittee is out for the count Selina pulls out a business card and makes a call to Pepper. She apologizes for it bordering on late and explains the situation but right on the heel of her apology she asks the woman if she'd be able to come over. After the call she goes to check on the drunk, making sure he won't suffocate if he vomits before returning to her cleaning, the cuts on her fingers still unnoticed.
Pepper Potts answers her phone on the first ring as if it were habit, and after listening to Selina's explanation she says she'll be there shortly. And she does not exaggerate. It's barely fifteen minutes later and she's hurrying into the mansion, still wearing her work clothes, but her hair in a sloppy ponytail and incongruous white sneakers on her feet instead of the usual heels.
Tony Stark is sprawled out on the damn floor. He's on his stomach, so that's a plus. And it doesn't look like he's vomited or anything. But he's still out like a light. And he'll probably stay that way until somebody decides they want to try and wake him up. He was already borderline ready to pass out from the drinking. He's head is probably going to be killing him even more soon enough.
"Tell your dickwad boss I put him out like a bitch," comes Selina's voice from behind the couch as she indulges in some uncommon swearing, her body hidden as she has ducked behind it to pick up some of the waste Tony left in his wake. It looks like hell in here, it should be noted, with broken glass and empty bottles strewn all over the floor and probably elswhere as well. When she straightens she gives Pepper a quick glance. "You look like hell, too."
Pepper Potts stops just inside the doorway, takes in everything with a single wide-eyed look around the room, then dumps her shoulder bag on the only clear space to be had and moves to find a waste basket. "I've been waiting for a call like this for days now, ever since Steve told me what he'd found here. JARVIS, could you please have Dummy or Butterfingers bring a broom and dustpan?" She starts across the room picking up all of the pieces of trash, broken glass, whatever that she can as she goes. "Thank you, Selina, for calling me. If you need to get going, I completely understand." She honestly hopes the woman will opt to stick around, but she's certainly not going to expect it.
Finally. Finally, Tony Stark begins to stir. And the pain kicks in before he finishes stirring. "... fuuuuuuck." comes from his lips as he actually starts trying to get his hands under him so that he can get himself up. He can't really do too much more than get up on his knees and even there he's wobbling. Wobbling even more as the time continues passes. "Get... the fuck.... out." Tony Stark is sounding very angry at this moment. He may have been knocked out but he definitely knows who the hell just did it and... that's not going to happen again.
And what does Tony's ire-filled demand get him? Utterly. Totally. Thoroughly ignored by Selina, her attention on Pepper instead. "You might want to get him to a doctor," she points out while looking at the back of her right hand. Oh. Looks like someone is going to have bruised knuckles to go with her cut fingers which she finally noticed. "Crap. Pepper, does Tony have a first aid kit?"
All that said, she looks at Tony from over her shoulder, her expression skillfully held in check with no emotion to find as a tell. "Are you doing being an insulting jerk," she asks, her tone as neutral as the rest of her.
Pepper Potts looks over at Tony when he starts to come to and promptly sets the waste basket down to step over and try to help him move to the nearest sofa. "Try the cabinet under the sink in the wet bar," she tells Selina. That's where she stashed one last time she was here, anyway. "Tony, will you drink some water?" Her voice is very carefully devoid of any kind of upset, only honest concern coming through clearly.
"Get the hell off me!" Tony's practically shaking himself away from both of these women. He cannot believe they are trying to 'help' in this way. He's got a headache the size of War Machine. The moment he gets to his feet though, he's stumbling backwards from the dizziness combination of KO Punch and Alcohol. But either way, he's stumbling into a crash at the bar and he grabs at his wallet and phone. From the bar he pushes away and starts trying to stumble walk to the exit. "You want this house so bad? You can have it. I've got fourteen more to choose from."
"Got one of my own..." Along with several safe houses Selina has bought or is renting under her various aliases, "... and 'raunchy playboy' really isn't my style to begin with. But thanks for the offer." Selina brushes past Tony while seeking out the bandaids and ointment, the first aid kit found after a few minutes worth of searching. "Pepper," she asks as she takes the stuff to a sink so she can wash the wounds out well, "is your boss always such a whiner?"
The last is asked as if Tony's not even there, Selina trying to goad him into some kind of activity that doesn't involve him being a drunken bastard.
Pepper Potts startles at Tony's harsh reaction to her attempts to help, and ends up just standing there looking confused and a little bit hurt. Then Selina's question almost startles her. "Uh..." She starts after Tony to keep him from... where is he trying to go, anyway?
"You touch me? You're fired." is snapped at Pepper with a snarl in his tone. And another glare is tossed in Selina's direction as he backs up towards the exit. "You come anywhere near me again and I will have you arrested." It is at this point that he actually trips over his own feet and falls backwards, smashing his epic phone and dropping his wallet. "Shit!"
The crash coincides with Selina spraying down her cuts with antiseptic, the pain getting her to hiss. "Maybe we should call the police on you," she threatens, not looking up as she has to pull a small sliver of glass from the pad of her index finger. "You're a threat to yourself and others, after all. Maybe they'll do the world a service and put your ass in seventy-two hour psyche lock down." She's not going to win Tony to her side by saying stuff like that, nor is she going to get Pepper to, most likely. But at this point she's well past trying to play nice while mollifying Tony while he's drunk enough for four men. No, now it's time for the tough love to come into play and, if needed, she'll knock him out again, threat of arrest be damned.
Pepper Potts flinches at Tony's harsh words and stops where she is, but when he falls and Selina continues with the tough love, her resolve returns. "Selina, please. You're not helping." Employment be damned, she moves to again reach to help Tony up off of the floor. "Go ahead and fire me. I'm not letting you keep on this way."
It's weird. Tony lets Pepper try to help him up but fights it at the same time. It's like he doesn't even know what he wants to do. Or how angry he wants to be. His anger is gone for the moment, as he tries to get back to his feet, but his words are still there. "Just... let me be. I don't need your help. I don't need anything." He also is starting to sound tired and defeated. He's so tired of people being all up in his business and all up in his face. "Just... leave me alone. Okay...?"
Selina has seen this behavior more than once. Her father was an alcoholic, after all, and Tony's behavior tonight brings back memories of abuse her father visited upon her and her sister's mother continually. The same abuse that eventually drove her to take her life. "No, Pepper," she announces suddenly. "I refuse to enable his behavior. But hey. Feel free to do so yourself. I won't tell you what to do." She will send Pepper an apology later, probably in the form of a card to go with the flowers she'll undoubtedly send her. But right now she's not feeling up to even think of the words 'I'm sorry'. Right now she just can not give a care.
Preparing to leave as per Tony's request, now, Selina steps over debris and bodies, her path to the door a straight one. "JARVIS, I hope you have this video taped. If so, please show it to Tony as soon as he's sober so he can see what an asshole he's been to people who cares about him." At the rate he's going, it'll probably be forever before Tony ever gets shown it.
"But I need your help," Pepper murmurs faintly and mostly to herself as she continues to help Tony get to his feet. "Okay, Tony. I will. Soon, okay?" She glances at Selina, but that's really all the acknowledgement she has time for at the moment. A momentarily free hand snakes out to snag her shoulder bag.
"Just... I'm sorry." Well, there's an apology. Tony is all over the place right now. "I just want to sleep. That's all." Those are the words coming from his mouth and the way his legs are weakening beneath him probably has to help with making that a true statement. He's losing his ability to fight. And since he can't drink anymore right now while these people are here... he might as well sleep.
There's nothing more from Selina who is gone. The only indication of her exiting the mansion is the very loud, very abrupt slam of the door when she closes it.
"Okay, Tony. Okay. JARVIS?" Pepper doesn't raise her voice at all, hoping the AI understands her query for a not-trashed room where Tony can sleep. Ideally, she'd like to get him completely away from this place at least for a couple of days, but a car ride might be too much right this moment.
Somewhere in the midst of being pulled around by Pepper, Stark loses it again. He's out. Sleeping. And that's when his weight becomes dead weight against her strength. And that's going to be it for Tony Stark right now. He's clearly going to have to sleep this off.
Directed to one of the less-used guest rooms in the mansion, Pepper nearly throws her back out getting Tony there and situated on the bed. She then sets a waste basket against the side of the bed, a glass of water and some mild pain killers on the night stand within eyeshot, and turns off all of the lights in the room except for one small lamp next to an armchair in the corner. She toes off the sneakers then settles into the chair, pulling out her tablet to start sending emails while waiting for Tony to sleep off this bender. Financial planning meetings can wait, she's not leaving any time soon.