| Clusterbuck | |||||
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| What: A routine drug bust goes haywire as all hell breaks loose. Heroes and villains from all sections of society come together in a scene that will surely make you ask, "huh?" Appearances by Superman, Booster Gold, Snake Eyes, Calculator, Deadpool and Death's Head. | |||||
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They came at night for obvious reasons. A half dozen 1970s era yachts had taken advantage of a dirty Port Authority agent's desire for a new car, and had their 'easy' in to the Big Apple.
They plan to dock at one of the northern most receiving points where a warehouse filled with assorted vehicles will take the shipments and get them out where they need to go.
The plan would all work amazingly well, if their words weren't so easily deciphered by a certain Kryptonian who hangs out in this area. He put out a call, both to Legion and through normal Superhero channels, for a meet up to intercept down at the docks.
In all, there are 6 yachts full of assorted drugs (everything from marijuana, to cocaine, to bath salts) filled with approximately 24 stooges with various weaponry. In the warehouse that leads right up to the water, there are about a dozen vehicles with about 30 sets of hands eager to take the shipment in.
There are some people that belong here. There are some people that are invading here. And then there is Snake Eyes. The nonexistent combat ninja is crouched atop a building and not even moving. In fact, to glance again in his direction would probably be to miss him because he's so still. He's watching the harbor like a hawk, likely using some high technology such as night vision goggles or something else. Who knows. JoeTech is crazy. Knowing Snake Eyes, though, it is likely built right into his visor.
Snake Eyes makes a note of everything from the Yachts to the Vehicles in the Warehouse. His location is primed for surveillance and he doesn't waste a moment of the precious time. And almost as quickly as he may have been noticed perched there on that building's roof... he's gone.
When you are a being who is notable for being the opposite of stealthy, it can be difficult when a situation calls for some sneakery. Booster Gold is dealing with this utilizing distance--he is floating in the sky a fair ways up--and, for once, he is not glowing at all. -Not- being noticed is a little outside his wheelhouse, but he is doing his best to not draw any attention, even if this goes against his every instinct. This also means he is relying on the aural and visual augmentations provided by his goggles, while surveying the ships. After some serious thought, he quietly wonders aloud, "...what if I just sink these boats? That'd end things pretty quickly, I bet."
"You'd be honor bound to clean up any spills of toxic matter into the water, including fuel, sir," Skeets notes, equally quietly.
"...right. We'll leave that as 'Plan C', then."
The face that the gangster is currently facetiming can barely be identified as such. A blurred-out black image against a similarly blurry red background can be seen on the tablet, with only the oversized glasses showing up clearly on the screen. The blurry face answers in an artificial, robot-like voice. One that auto-translates itself into Spanish, no less. <It's not that I doubt you, your highly-trained crew, or your box of grenades, Manuel. I simply have intercepted some unusual electronic communication in your area. Nothing to panic about yet, but I think under the circumstances it might be appropriate to call for more muscle. No offense to the current muscle, obviously.>
"Yar! Bring in the sails! Hoist the mainbrace!"
Deadpool, an insult to current hired muscle the world over, is standing on top of the antenna assembly that some larger ships have- even though the transport is little more than a large yacht- and is swinging from one hand and one foot. His other foot swings freely, and he swings a scimitar in dangerous circles with his other hand. The antenna bends and groans dangerously under his weight.
"Avast there, in the foc's'le!" he yells down at a random goon. "Report to the poop deck!" He swings around. "Ahoy the poop deck! Report to the foc's'le!" he roars.
Cap'n Pirate Jack 'Deadpool' Sparrow swings down from the antenna and lands heavily on the deck, his turned down leather boots and heavy canvas peacoat making a profoundly awesome statement as he lands.
"Awesome?" Deadpool calls up at no one ICly. "I'll show you awesome, random OOC voices!" He leaps onto the prow of the ship, sword across his shoulders, and stands with his feet braced and shoulders back, tricorn hat cocked askew and what looks like a cooked cornish game hen tied to one shoulder. He switches his eyepatch from his left eye to his right eye. "I sense someone up thar be stealin' my shtick, an' talkin' to yerself!" Deadpool yells at the sky. "That's /Captain/ Deadpool's game, it is!"
We don't technically talk to ourselves. This is more of an internalized dialogue with a discorporate part of your thought process. Well, I'm sure not talking with myself. You other colors are the crazy ones. No one asked the editor! Hey Deadpool, did you know someone's trying to steal your bit?
"That's what I'm saying this whole time!" Deadpool yells at no one in particular. "Ahoy the docks! We be coming in for landin'! or whatever. What do boats do? Do we land?" he asks a passing crewmember. "There's a word for it. Um. Not landing.... uh... boarding? Permission to board? Granted!"
The 6 yachts all begin to land upon the dock at just about the same time. There's a large 'U' shape to the dock, the base of which is where the warehouse meets. In a highly trained measure, the crews of the boats waste no time in disembarking. They begin to tie up the boats and begin to unload boxes like little ants. Likewise, a group of men from the warehouse head out to help. Before there was nothing out here but the quiet moonlight, but now there's an entire operation that's getting started.
Speaking of moonlight, there's a flicker and some of the goons point upwards. There, floating is a figure shrouded in darkness, arms folded across a mighty chest. Even without much light, they can still tell who it is as the telltale cape flaps in the wind.
"It's Superman!" Some immediately want to fight. Others want to flee. There's confusion, to be sure, but a good number of goons go for their guns and take aim at the sky. A split second later, the fire that doesn't miss pings harmlessly off Superman's chest.
Inside the warehouse, where the vehicles are, there are a few things that may be happening. There's shadowed blur that seems to move from one section to the other, moving swiftly but not with any sort of super speed or anything like that. The movements are swift and precise and soon enough, there are bodies that find themselves falling prey to the silent movements of the shadowed blur that is more than likely: Snake Eyes. He's about two goons in before the gunfire from outside begins and that causes those goons in the warehouse to become more on high alert than they already were.
Lights go on, perhaps from both vehicles and flashlights, resulting in Snake Eyes losing the shadows. He stands very still as goons zero in on him and the two bodies that he is standing over. As their guns come out, Snake Eyes tilts his head once to the side. There is only a brief moment of pause before "SHOOT HIM!" becomes the order of the day and when bullets start flying, Snake Eyes flings a handful of throwing stars in their direction, whilst drawing his blade and deflecting bullets to the left and right of his body.
"You know... why does anyone shoot at Superman? They must -know- it won't work," Booster Gold remarks to his little valet droid, Skeets. One of the stray bullets hits him, although it flattens against his force field. The flattened slug just falls away, as if the impact had robbed it of most of its momentum. "Showtime. Stay up here!" He tells the robot, before going into a power dive. When he gets closer to the ships, at about the level where Superman is hovering, Booster suddenly glows with golden light. It isn't particularly bright, just enough to make him shine in the darkness. With a smile that is even brighter than the glow surrounding him, he calls down to the men on the ships, "Hi! Hey, this is your chance to surrender. You don't have to surrender, but I mean... if you don't, you're going to get punched a lot. So it's your call. I personally recommend the surrendering, just sayin'."
On the other side of the conversation, Calculator doesn't look all that surprised. Or even very bothered. <Just for the record, Manuel: If you lose this cargo, not only will there not be a discount, but there will probably also be some sort of torture. Probably foot-centric.>
Deadpool points his scimitar at Superman, then at Booster. "Avast! Superheroes be about!" Deadpool considers his scimitar, then reaches down under a convenient blanket and produces what looks like an extremely high-tech rocket launcher. "Oh, why not. Thanks Grodd!" He examines the warhead, then aims at Superman and fires the round off at the Man of Steel.
The oversized RPG takes off with a whirling spiral of smoke, all conical and menacing and stuff, soaring up from the deck of the ship towards Supes. Now, if this works, we owe Grodd a banana-flavored beer. "If it /doesn't/ work?" We shoot him in the /other/ foot!
And that is when Death's Head launches himself out of the water. He was a mechanoid, built nearly 3000 years from now. A robot meant for a time he didn't live in, "Sorry for delay, yes?"
A Time Traveler would recognize him, he is Death's Head. The Freelance Peacekeeping Agent to end all Bounty Hunters.
As he flew out of the water his left-hand was already was replaced with a titanium shot gun. His back covered in weapons.
He looked at his enemies and then he scanned them all, "Thinking I need a pay raise, yes?"
Superman nods over to Booster and his voice joins his ally from Legion, "Booster's right." He says the words with a smile, and just then a bullet ricochets off his white teeth. His eyes turn back to Booster, "Looks like they're not much in the way of listening. Oh well. They had their chance."
Just as Superman is about to head downward like a speeding bullet, the rocket from Deadpool starts coming his way. The Man of Steel pivots on air and turns to face the incoming rocket. He holds his hands out, eager to catch it and dispose of it, and as he does, he reveals that his hands are severely jaundiced. Indeed, part of his neck has also turned an odd shade of yellow.
Almost as if it is a reminder to himself, Superman pulls back his hands and instead goes for the heat vision, incinerating the missile.
Or does he?
Just as the rocket's from Grodd's earlier attack were made especially for the Kryptonian, so too were these rockets that Deadpool is using. Almost with a mind of their own, they explode just before incineration. But there is more than just fire; a green hazy cloud envelopes Superman. Normally, such things would not bother him, but his powers have been weaker over the past few days and is caught off guard.
Like a damaged bird in hunting season, Superman falls from the sky and into the water.
Meanwhile, groups are taking shots at Booster now as he seems to be the lone target still standing. Perhaps Manuel was right.
In the warehouse now, Snake Eyes is being attacked from all angles by gunfire. The first group was pretty easy (relatively). Those were the guys who just brandished the handguns. In the background the Joe can see two men with AK 47s wheeling around a vehicle and taking aim.
Death's Head is the beneficiary of the attention on Booster and Superman, so he slips in unnoticed. But as he scans and talks, a group of men now turn and look at him, eager to begin firing.
Snake Eyes versus an entire warehouse of crazy criminals that are supposed to be transporting drugs? Sucks to the them.
Snake Eyes is always moving. Even as he's spotting the vehicle of weaponized destruction turning to face him. He moves with speed and grace, flipping over a pair of gunmen, allowing them to shoot off in the direction of other gunmen. He lands and pops back up into the air, somersaulting over another, swinging his blade down as he does, slicing through the villain and landing in a crouched position on the hood of another random vehicle. His head turns to catch sight of those AK wielders and a grenade is hurled over his shoulder and in their immediate direction, as his hand drops back down to grab at the uzi hanging at his waist and he starts taking shots at the criminals inside the warehouse.
Booster Gold gives Superman a thumbs-up and joins him in the downward dive, at least until that missile rockets upwards. Initially, he does not give it a second thought--he knows that Superman can brush off a missle strike without breaking a sweat. Thus, he is shocked when it actually blows the Man of Steel out of the air. "...sprocking--" For a moment he is just hovering there, open mouthed, sparkling from the number of bullets that are impacting him all over. At least that wiped the smile off of his face.
Turning to scan the people still on the ships, he shouts towards where he saw the rocket blast come from and exclaims, "If he's dead, I am so going to figure out which one of you did that and I will use you as a club to beat the snot out of -everyone else here-." With that, he dives straight down into the water, so he can seek out Superman and get a forcefield around him before someone drops a depth charge or something.
In a few other locations across the boats, a few more small explosions go off, effectively destroying almost all of the evidence potentially tying Calculator to this little operation. Another series of shrieks can be heard.
However, despite apparently being done with the human crew, Calculator is not done with the operation. Mobile devices begin ringing on the person's of both Deadpool and Death's Head. If there were anyone else on the scene whose name had some derivation of 'Dead' in it, it's likely they would be receiving a phone call as well. Miles away, in Calculator's hidden lair, information from multiple camera feeds begins displaying on the various computer monitors arranged around him. "Well, well, well, who would have thought that the Cheapest Operative I Could Get would just happen to have a weapon that could knock Superman out of the fight. Maybe this isn't over quite yet after all."
"Hah! hahahahhaahahha!" Deadpool jumps up and down excitedly, stamping his feet on the deck. "Avast ye! Grodd, I owe ye a beer! Banana or otherwise!"
Cap'n Pooly reaches for another rocket launcher round with whatever kind of hyperkinetic superhero deterrants are loaded on it. "I don't know what these are, but I /loves/ em!" he bellows.
Deadpool presses a hand to his ear.
"Wilson Crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em," he answers. "Hey, Calculon! What's up? Oh, the family's fine, thanks for asking," he says, nodding to himself. He swings a grenade launcher around from his hip, squints loosely at the warehouse Snake Eyes is currently turning into an abbatoir, and fires a 40mm explosive off at where the master ninja's cutting his way through the mooks. "Hey, heads up, there's probably a badass ninja or something cutting the warehouse apart," Deadpool observes. "And the Law of conservation of ninjitsu says that if there's just one of him, he's gonna be unstoppable, at least until /I/ head over there. And today, I'm Cap'n Deadpool, so we'll answer the age-old question of Pirates vs. Ninja!"
"I'm not on a Kyptionian colony. If I had a piece of kryptonite we'd be having a different conversation. eh?"
Death's Head's arm flew into air to fit Superman's flight plan, "I can hit him right now. But I spouse that would be pointless, yes?"
Death's Head was working on data that made Superman obsolete, "If I fire this shot... it will mean nothing. Except it will mean something, eh?"
Without fighting anyone, the time traveler shot a shot into the air.
Where it hit he cared not where... except that it was going right at Superman, correcting for gravity, correcting for everything.
The Mechanoid lowered his hand and said, "It's all about profit, yes?"
Snake Eyes' grenade comes down in between the two men with the AK-47s and clangs around quietly for a few tenuous seconds. The men look at each other and try to flee, but are caught in the explosion. Their bodies catch air as they go crashing into a handful of cargo crates.
Snake Eyes' shots rain out in the warehouse as the Joe fights fire with fire. Many of the men inside take cover. While they're not the best folks Snake Eyes will have ever faced, they're not idiots either. Their attacks begin to be coordinated and with as many of them as there are, Snake Eyes will have to act and think quickly.
The water here in the harbor is pretty deep to accommodate some of the larger vessels that dock here. This makes Booster's search for Superman a tad bit more difficult. He finds him, eventually, with green residue still over much of his upper half. The Man of Steel is trying to wipe it away as the forefield comes over him. He's coughing outward, and reflexively taking inward breaths, which are never good when you're under water. Still, Superman looks as though he's overcoming the assault. He turns to look at Booster with an anger and frustration in his eyes that the man from the future has not likely seen.
Meanwhile, the explosions on the boats that disrupted the evidence that would have pointed to Calculator, have caused 4 of the 6 of them to begin taking on water. Not only is the Calculator specific evidence ruined, but a whole lot of drugs are about to get soaked.
The arc of Death Head's shot, if it is to hit Superman, will have to go down into the water. Unfortunately, once bullets hit water they bounce almost on their own will, so the shot is off mark..
Lucky for Snake Eyes, thinking and acting quickly is all he's been trained to do. When the attacks start to become coordinated, Snake Eyes begins to start attacking the environment. As clusters of them move and shoot at him, he flanks and dodges, focusing on not getting shot, rather than attacking. He goes up and over one of the cars, slapping his palm flat against the gas tank as he continues to move. He leaps again, kicking aside the gun of some random gunman, letting the bullets sail in the direction of another cluster of his foes. He's firing shots from his own weapon then, up close and personal with a few more of his foes, before he takes a gun butt to the back of the neck.
This stumbles Snake Eyes forward and he drops to the ground, rolling with it and popping up to sweep a nearby goon off his feet. It is at this moment that he turns his head and spots something sailing towards the warehouse. His Ninja Sense is pretty much screaming at him that this is not a good thing and he makes a quick dash for the nearest glass, diving head first through it and out of the warehouse. Bullets are sent in a hail after him.
The moment his body hits the ground outside, he rolls and lifts his arm up, pressing a couple of buttons on his Gauntlet.
Back inside the warehouse, small sticky-explosives (located on about four of the vehicles) count down from 00:02
Cap'n Pooly's Wild Flying Explosive of Pirate Justice...
Boom?
Booster Gold looks relieved once he finds Superman alive. Once he has them both enveloped in his force field, which handily also provides air and life support, he says, "Dude, I'm -so- sorry... I had no idea they had those kinds of weapons on board." He glances upwards, the reaches out to grab Superman by the elbow, so he can collapse the forcefield into a form-fitting but contiguous coating over the both of them. Staying in the spot where the bad guys saw them both splash down is probably not a great idea, so he 'flies' them both under the hull of one of the middle ships. "If you're not good to go, tell me; we can just come up with a different plan of action. I can't keep my field up around both of us unless we're in close proximity."
Safe in his little lair, Calculator transmits to his two paid operatives. "All right, I'm tapped into every camera that's even remotely near the area of this train wreck. Fortunately, there are several viable escape routes open to you." Calculator's hands fumble nervoulsly with a normal-sized Rubik's Cube while he surveys the various monitors to try and gain a full picture of the battlefield. "Unfortunately, this mission is a total loss. I'm going to need the two of you to go into cleanup mode. Destroy the ships and kills as many of the remaining crew as you can. This should allow you the window you'll need to escape." The little colored boxes of his Rubik's Cube line up neatly, only to be quickly reshuffled. "You will both receive a ten percent bonus for the inconvenience."
"Way ahead of ya!" Deadpool says, brightly. "But hang on a sec, I gotta do something... Awesome."
Deadpool disappears from the deck, leaving Death's Head to start the party without him. Snake Eyes is doing his thing with the rentathugs on the dock, and Booster is getting Superman out of the fight with alacrity.
Abruptly, the prow on the boat explodes, and a small speedboat bursts out of a concealed drydock in the prow. The James Bond 'awesome music' blares from speakers, and Deadpool rips off his pirate costume to reveal an immaculate black tuxedo. How he does the costume change is anyone's guess, but it's sufficiently awesome that you should all just roll with it.
"Well, it'sh been fun," Deadpool says loudly in a bad imitation of a Welsh accent, "but it'sh time for me to leave you all... high and dry." He dramatically presses a button on his watch, and explosions erupt on all six ships, ripping them apart below the waterline. "The name's Pool. Deadpool. And Deadpool alwaysh getsh hish man." He fishes for a martini and zooms off out of the harbor and off towards the ocean, leaving the dock area.
If the metallic face could show emotion it would show disappointment. Because of the order he was just given. And order that he hated... there was no more killing to be done. At least, no more for profit.
When the explosions go off Death's Head says, "Looks like the party started without me."
Death's Head was not paid for a sinking ship.
And within two seconds, the warehouse goes up in flames after a group sticky-explosives attach themselves to vehicles. The fire catches on with the wooden walls and roof of the warehouse and in short order, flames are everywhere, standing out against the black background of the river and the sky.
"It's not your fault, Booster. A couple of days ago, I had a run-in with General Grodd. I believe he inflicted me with some form of sickness." Superman shows Booster his hands. "I hadn't suffered any ill effects until now. Had I been one hundred percent, I don't think I would have been taken in by that weapon." Superman shakes his head, "No, I think I'll be alright."
Up under the hull of one of the ships now, Superman reaches up and lifts the boat easily out of the water, but just as he does, the boat explodes right in front of him, though he and Booster are protected by their powers and Force Fields.
Superman rises out of the water, just as Deadpool is making his way out. He's about to give chase, but the screams of a man cause him to stop. He rushes over to perform first aid on one of the men who was caught in the explosion. Deadpool, it seems, will be getting off scott free.
Meanwhile, the authorities have now arrived to find the warehouse flaming. Calls are made to get a fire department out here as quick as possible. The confusion is enough to stop the bullets as the drug runners now focus on keeping themselves alive.
Snake Eyes might as well have not even been here. Just as quickly as he was on the ground and detonating explosives, he's no longer there. The combat Ninja has disappeared in the chaos and the flames, off into the darkness as though he was nothing more than a myth and a legend. All thanks to one particular skill that he has over Pirates and Spies.
Ninja Vanish.
Which is a skill unique to Pirate Spies.
Snake Eyes lives with his mom still.
"Aw, man..." Booster Gold looks concerned, and even faintly alarmed regarding Superman's condition. But then things are exploding, and once Booster has flown up out of the water, there are other things to deal with that are more immediate. Such as trying to gather up as many survivors as possible before they are unable to survive; for anyone else, he just uses stun-grade shots from his wrist mounted blasters. But he does tell the Man of Steel, in the process of all this, "After this, I'm gonna insist you go to Legion headquarters, dude... infirmary and so on. Don't make me have to snitch on you."
As he types at one of his keyboards, large sums of money are deposited into the accounts of Messieurs Deadpool, Death's Head, and Manuel. Although only two of the recipients will likely ever be checking their bank balance. Calculator turns off his monitors and sets down his cube. "Thank you gentlemen. I'll be in touch if I require your services again." As the transmission feed is cut, he slouches back in his very comfortable ergonomic chair, lays his head back, and allows himself to destress. "Computer, activate playlist: Soothing Post-Mission Music 3."
Now as the villains have made their getaway, the authorities are rushing to help the heroes. Firefighters fight the fire, paramedics tend to the hurt, and police arrest the rest. Superman straightens, and cuts a frustrated figure as he looks to his teammate and friend. Now the yellow has come up to cover everything on the Man of Steel's neck below the jaw in yellow. "I think you're right Booster. I'm not feeling so well. I think going to the infirmary might be the best thing for me right. . ." His voice trails as he stumbles a bit, pausing to hold himself up with Booster's help.
"We'd better go now."