| EXTREMIS: Prologue | |||||
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| What: A conference call between 'Henry Rogers' and The Hanks gets made a bit more public than any of them would have liked. | |||||
"Come on, Rogers! We got three vehicles need oil changes, and that van still needs the alternator replaced!"
The owner of the Spiffy Lube in Wilmington, NC is not a happy guy. To be fair, he's usually not a happy guy even under ideal circumstances. But when one of his mechanics has called in sick, and another one has spent about twenty minutes in the bathroom, he's a bit warmer under the collar than usual.
"I told you I'll be out in a minute, Frank! Geez! These distractions are just slowing down the process in here!"
Frank grumbles something about wishing he could fire 'Rogers', and makes his way back out to the shop floor. Inside the Employee's Only bathroom, 'Rogers' begins to grunt in the way only the most constipated of individuals can muster.
But 'Rogers' is not constipated. This is because 'Rogers' does not eat. Or at least he doesn't eat anymore.
Sitting on the toilet with a bottle of grain alcohol in one hand and a high end tablet in the other, the entrepreneur formerly known as Tony Stark looks at himself on the tablet's screen. He hasn't shaved in nearly a month, and his trademark goatee has now become a grubby homeless man's beard. But aside from that, he also looks incredibly gaunt. So gaunt in fact, that nobody in Wilmington has recognized who he really is, or that 'Henry Rogers' is just a blended alias.
Swiping down his rather short list of contacts, Tony quickly gets to one of the names that was partially responsible for his choice of aliases. "Okay, Hank. Please be near your computer. And pleeeease don't let Janet be anywhere around."
He presses the touchscreen, and the tablet begins 'dialing' the computer of one Dr. Henry Pym.
Elsewhere, on the Helicarrier Argus, a computer nestled in the middle of a mass of haphazardly arranged equipment starts to bleep an alert sound. It repeats the catchy little alert every second for three seconds before a distracted voice calls from the main lab area in the next room over, "Is that one of your FPS friends again? If you could shut that off, that would be--" his voice trails off in the way of someone who's divided attention just tipped the balance from enough-spared-to-vocalize to not.
Bleep~ Bleep~
There's a mournful sigh from the other room, the sound of some hasty typing, and a moment or two later Hank appears in the door way, giving the empty room and the noisy computer a betrayed look. He rubs his head, walking over to it and murmuring, "I really need to get him his own computer.." and then he blinks, seeing that, actually, the call is for him. And it's from..?
The call finally picks up. "H-hello? This is Hank Pym, are you--?"
Once answered, the call switches to video feed. It's grainy at first, what with it being from Wilmington and everything, but although the video remains a bit choppy it quickly becomes obvious exactly who is calling. Or at least it'd be obvious if he didn't look so bad. Still, anyone familiar with him is likely to still recognize him.
"Hank, thank Odin you answered... It's me, Ton-Bone! I was sitting here, on the potty, drinking my grain alcohol, and I was all 'Man, I haven't talked to Hank in forever. I wonder what's going on in that guy's life?' so here I am, giving you a shout."
Speaking of grain alcohol, Tony takes a pretty impressive swig of the stuff almost for dramatic effect. Of course, those of us in the audience already know that alcohol is the only thing keeping him alive right now. Still, he's downgraded pretty substantially from fifty year old bottle of Scotch and professionally-mixed martinis to... Everclear. Either he's taking this whole 'keep a low profile' thing really seriously, or he's having a cash flow issue.
Hank's own face on his fairly clear video feed goes through a quick transition from surprise, to recognition, to unmistakable dismay. "T-tony?? Is that you? You look awful!" not the most flattering greeting, but Hank presses on before Tony can even reply.
"Tony, where are you? Where did you go? JARVIS let me access the files on... your replacement, but he's refused to say anything about what you left for. Pepper's really worried, and you acted like you knew what was going on when you left. If you know the origin of that infection..."
"Hold that thought little buddy... I'm liking the energy you're bringing, but I think that what this conference call is a bit of synergy. Fortunately, promoting synergy like a boss is pretty much my entire job description."
'Henry (Hank) Rogers' minimizes the window in which Hank Pym's face is looming large, and hurriedly swipes through his contacts again. He quickly finds a contact that's labelled 'Fluffy Hank' and gives him a ring as well, adding him to the conference call.
"Okay, let's see if this guy answers. Usually I have Pepper handle all my conference call logistics for me, but it's really not that hard. I can't believe I've been paying her so much all these years to do this for me..."
While Beast's workaholic nature means he's often busy with a thousand things at once he still has time to answer a conference call from Tony Stark. And Hank Pym being the other party makes it even more worth picking up. After all... he doesn't want to miss another 'Journey To The Center Of The Futurist' if Pym decides to venture into Tony again with his fascinating Pym Particles. Hank's furry blue features appear on the screen, a red furred Santa Hat atop his head.
"Ho Ho Ho... what is thy bidding my Master? Note to self... I nee to put in some holographic communication stations next chance I get. Anyway, what can I do you for?"
There's some commotion in the background and Hank leans out of view for a moment and shouts to people off screen. "I'm on the phone Mom. Just keep Grandma McCoy busy for a little while until I'm done." Hank leans back into frame. "Sorry about that. McCoy Family Festivities."
Hank Pym can't quite help but smile at Dr. McCoy. "Oh, are you visiting your family? Sorry if it's a bad time--" though wait, pleasantries really ought to wait for now! "Dr. McCoy? Have you been helping Tony since he left?" Hank glances to the window where Tony is looking pleased with his ratty beard and gaunt face, discussing a future replacing Pepper as his own assistant. "What's going on?"
Tony is able to keep a smile long enough for some of the initial pleasantries, though he's really not feeling okay. Of course, one look at his face would tell anyone that, especially someone with medical training.
"Hank. Hank. It's great to see you guys. I've really wanted to catch up with both of you for a while now. You know, see what you're up to... whether you've got any good anecdotes... if you're dating anyone..."
But he's only able to keep up pleasantries for a few seconds before he pretty much deflates in front of them, and his strained smile is replaced with a look of honest discomfort. "Okay, so I've got a confession: I didn't really call you two to chat. I actually really need you guys to tell me you've found something from the samples you took from me. If not... I think I might be screwed."
Beast laughs as he takes off the Santa hat for now and slips his glasses on. "Don't worry about it... they won't even miss me. In fact I'm rather pleased for the breather from the party. Despite my distinguished career and degrees in numerous fields... I'm still Grandma's furry little man." Hank offers with a soft chuckle. "A few more minutes and I would probably be answering the call with bows in my fur or sporting some handmade jammies that make Ralphie's look dignified." Hank offers with a bit of a sheepish smile and shrug of his shoulders.
"I've consulted on his case and have been working on various methods to slow the spread of the infection." Hank pauses though and waves a finger. "I'm rather cross I missed going inside Mr. Stark though.... that's not something one gets to experience in a normal lifetime. Would have been able to check something off my bucket list. In fact, I have a shuttle standing by in case you're trying again."
Hank stops rambling though when Tony shows just how human the Iron Man can be. "I think I can halt the spread the same way Cable kept his own TO virus in check. You don't have natural TK abilities... but I believe I can modify your armor's power cell to create a high-tech substitute that will basically hold the infected tissues in a suspended state for the time being."
Hank Pym laughs a little, "I do still have some extensive footage if you'd like a copy, Dr. McCoy-- I had no idea you were aware of all of this. But, um. I don't think it's happening again any time soon. Unless Tony's a lot closer by than I think he is.." he falls silent, looking interested. "Telekinetic fields for suspension? That's an interesting idea-- halting the spread on a molecular level without disrupting normal body function--er. Well, relatively speaking." he looks back to Tony, apologetic. "I've been studying my own samples, and I think I'm gaining a better understanding of how they work, but still not much on how to reverse it. I'm concerned though that this virus is made to adapt to different hosts in different ways. However you contracted it, I don't think it was meant exclusively for you, Tony."
"Hm... well... I guess that's something." It's not the miracle pill Tony was probably hoping for, but at least he knows they're still on it. It's clearly enough to provide him with a little bit of comfort. Or maybe that's the Everclear that he continues to chug like a homeless man who's been given a ten dollar bill.
"But I've been doing some homework of my own while you Big Brains have been chipping away at a solution. You're not far off when you say that the virus is tailored, Hank. I think the version I got was some kind of prototype, based on some theoretical formulas I wrote up at a Y2K party one time. I was pretty drunk... there was a girl... it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Another swig of liquor, and the little plastic bottle is nearly empty. "But anyway, somebody is trying to finish the formula. The best case scenario is that they're just trying to get revenge against me for something. The worst case scenario..."
He leaves the thought unfinished.
"I have a few other options to consider... but you need at least a temporary solution to buy us time to pursue other options." Beast offers, trying to ensure Tony knows he's not ready to give up just yet. "There are potential avenues that we can explore that might be somewhat.... unethical in nature." Hank notes as he takes off his glasses and leans back a bit. "We could consider cloning you and uploading your memories to the new body. We do have telepaths that could handle the transference if necessary." Hank suggests as he rubs his chin. "Or we save your mind through a number of potential avenues while we cease your life functions. Without a living host we might be able to purge the Extremis from your body and then restart your life functions and remerge your mind with your body."
"Wait, wait, are... you saying -you- made this virus, Tony? At least partially?" well. That would explain why he was babbling on about knowing the creator before he went out the window the last time Pym saw him. He pushes a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. "...And you're saying if someone didn't dredge up this formula you chipped in on to target you specifically... which I really doubt from what I've seen of it...then someone's intentionally developing it for...something else." that's a sobering thought.
Pym glances to McCoy on the screen. "He's right..in fact I've just been studying an LMD from your father's time that appears to have an amazingly robust capability to support a complete human mind, but that's.. a pretty extreme option. Especially if this might be a wider scope than just Tony we're looking at.."
Okay. Tracking down Tony. It hasn't proved easy...in fact, so far Steve has had no luck. Which means? Next best thing...talk to one of the science types. And Dr. Pym is, apparently, in his lab on the Helicarrier. If nothing else, Pym and McCoy...the Hanks...are the people who might know how to fix whatever Tony's managed to break. There's a knock on Pym's door.
Hank Pym jumps over the video feed, and turns off screen. "Erm, Hello?"
"Okay... I officially regret asking you two. I'm going to go ahead and lay down a giant unilateral 'EFF NO' to all of those suggestions. Cloning? Telepathy? Mind transfer? When has that ever worked out well?"
Tony certainly doesn't seem to like the idea of having his consciousness transferred, but he hasn't exactly come up with any better ideas on his own.
"This is why we need my managerial, synergy-promoting skills. None of us seem to have an answer, but I bet each of us have at least 33% of the answer. Maybe if we pool our data and keep hashing this out, we'll come up with something workable."
He frowns slightly as Hank 1 vanishes from the screen, and taps his own tablet. "But seriously Hank, blaming me for this viral outbreak is just going to create negative synergy, Bro. Let's focus on solutions, not on whose fault it is."
"Besides, I told you I was drunk..."
Hank Pym looks back to the monitor, not wanting to miss the discussion. He ignores the door after having said hello. "Yes, certainly. I'd be very interested to look into those findings you mentioned, and maybe some of what I turned up will be helpful. I'll be here, if you need to get in touch with me about Tony."
"It was just a desperate measures solution. I'm not saying we should go for it." Beast strokes his chin just a bit. "I'm going to head back to the city and the lab at the tower. Prepare the option you are okay with." Hank notes as stands up. "Dr. Pym... could you transfer your findings to me and I'll do the same. See if there's something we're overlooking in each of our plans."
Steve Rogers steps into the room. "Dr...Tony?" Oh dear. Busted. It's a Steve, a concerned Steve. "This has gone on long enough, Hank. I might not be able to help, but maybe the brain of a non-scientist can come up with something."
"Maybe if we find some way to like... build like a giant magnet. We could totally do that with the arc reactor. And then just... suck all the metal parts out of my body. Then we just replace it all with stem cells? No wait... how will we get that many fetuses during the Christmas season..."
Tony rubs the excessively thick hair on his homeless-looking face while deep in thought, though he's obviously pretty desperate if he's throwing out 'giant magnet' as a serious solution.
But when he hears the voice on the feed, his gaunt features suddenly look a bit gaunter. One of the last people he'd hoped to hear from.
"Et tu, Hank 2? You sold me out!"
The computer Pym is using is in a side room from the main lab where the entrance is.. but that doesn't mean much against super soldier hearing, and Hank wasn't being especially quiet.. he still has no idea why Tony has been keeping this so close to the vest when things are as serious as they are. He erks though at Tony's remark. "I didn't know he was coming-- a-and how is that selling you out? You still haven't told me where you went to in such a hurry, it's been months!" he shoots an apologetic look to Steve when he reaches the computer lab, too busy talking to Tony to reply immediately.
"He didn't sell you out, Tony. You should know you couldn't hide from me forever." There's no anger in Steve's tone, not really. "Like I said. I know I can't help much. I'm no scientist. But...you could let me *try*."
"Ugh! You guys... nobody ever obeys me right... it takes all the fun out of being a CEO." Of course, Tony looks less like a CEO right now, and more like a guy who works at a Spiffy Lube and talks to himself on the Employee's Only potty.
"But I think you're probably right, Cap. This is a little bigger than I anticipated and it miiiight be slightly my fault. Though in my defense, it was Y2K, we all thought the world was ending anyway, the girl was super hot and I was kind of drunk."
Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, and when he addresses the screen again, it's with the tone of someone who is about to hand a report card full of F's to his parents.
"So... I might have engineered a THEORETICAL cybernetic super-virus to re-code a human being's baseline genetic markers and... uh..." His voice gets really quiet, and he practically mumblewhispers the rest.
"And uh... transform the human race into a group of remotely-controlled Borg slaves."
This quiet admission might have been met with more shock by Hank if he hadn't been piecing together evidence of just that for the past few months from the samples Tony left him.
In deference to the fact that it's Hank though, the statement still somewhat shocks him.
"But why would anyone..?? I mean, what you're talking about could destroy entire populations if it got out of hand! A-and besides, that doesn't explain how you contracted it, and from who. Writing some theories while you were drunk is a long way from actually engineering something like..." his mind jumps tracks. "Did you remember any of your process?" that would certainly be helpful for pinning this thing down.
"Okay, and you think somebody...stole your notes, wrote the thing and infected you with it?" Steve has never wished so much that he was wrong. "And you...do you still have your notes? Like Hank said..."
"Notes? Notes? Who am I, Nicholas Sparks? I never write anything down. I just kind of... dream possibilities that terrify other men and shape them into realities through sheer force of will. Notes... that's what Pepper is for." Tony seems genuinely offended by the suggestion that he would place a physical pen on a physical notepad. Even way back during Y2K times.
"But that's the thing: There aren't any notes, and the virus didn't work. Uh... not that we tested it on humans or anything..."
He sighs and looks at the clock on his tablet. He's officially been on the potty so long that he's unlikely to have a job if he stays even a minute longer. "Look guys, I have alternators to replace, and I'm handling this just *COUGH* fine on my own. I appreciate the concern, but I'm going to save the day like always. Don't stop believin'"
The screen goes black.
"Buh..!" Hank starts, but can't even complete the first syllable before Tony's disconnected the call. Hank immediately starts trying to trace the IP to figure out where Tony was conferencing from, but Tony probably bounces off proxies just to check the weather.. Hank isn't holding out a lot of hope.
The scientist gives a frustrated sigh, "He wouldn't even say where he was or why he left. How are we supposed to fix this if he--" he pauses, rubbing the back of his neck as he turns to Cap. "S-sorry..I didn't know where he was. I still don't.."
Steve Rogers shakes his head. "He's not handling it just fine and Pepper's going grey." He turns to Hank. "What do we have? I know he made you promise, but...give me what you have? It's that or hack JARVIS, and I don't want to hack JARVIS."
Hank Pym 's guilty look turns to one of absolute horror, and he shakes his head! "You can't hack JARVIS!" he interjects. "Please don't do anything like that. Honestly, I don't know why Tony would think this much secrecy was a good idea anyways, and it's a little late now, isn't it?" Hank gives and uneven little laugh, gesturing to the now defunct conference call. "I, I wish I had more I could tell you. I didn't even know he'd been consulting with Dr. McCoy until today. What I have is samples of the engineered biomechanical virus that's affecting Tony, and recordings from a microscopic exploratory we conducted before he disappeared."
"Without telling anyone but you, the other Hank, JARVIS and Pepper that he was even sick...and swearing people to secrecy. And don't worry, I already vetoed hacking JARVIS." Trying to persuade him? That's another matter.